[chasms]

i just want to preface this by saying i dont have schizophrenia but this stuff would Probably be considered psychotic in nature and idk about labels with myself blah blah but posting in this area of the forum may produce the most beneficial responses.

ok well the past few months my paranoia has gone up a lot and my ideas about the world and how it operates. i have had a lot of trouble with racing and disorganized thoughts. the other night i realized that this was because other "things" (entities, people, idk) are in my head. it is kind of like a feeling, not like, distinct thoughts usually. I just have this feeling of things in my head and this is the reason why i cant think. it is too crowded in there. my mind feels so murky and trying to think and organize my thoughts is like wading through a swamp. here is more of my theory

for lack of a better word, i will use angels and demons. there are two "sides" that are controlling my life, trying to make me suffer. to either make me continue living and suffer, or make me kill myself to realize who i am truly. anyway sorry its hard to string together things right. the angels are trying to speak through me but the demons are clouding my thoughts as well so i cant interpret what the information is. i feel like im higher than everyone else. im constantly suicidal though on the other side of things though. ive been to the hospital twice because of it. i cant tell my psychs about this whole scheme though because its so hard to articulate to them for some reason. I think the whole world is a game. i feel like no one has insight and everyone is a fool basically , but im also a fool because im so damn clouded. i have something important i know but i just cant decode it. i feel like im at my breaking point and i dont know what to do. sorry this was long

[Sometimes psychotic]

I'm not sure how much risperidone you're on but an increase might help clarify things for you.

[chasms]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I'm not sure how much risperidone you're on but an increase might help clarify things for you.

im only on 2mg ah. idk how to make my psych raise the dose because its so hard to be open about my symptoms she thinks everything is all fine i bet

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by chasms

im only on 2mg ah. idk how to make my psych raise the dose because its so hard to be open about my symptoms she thinks everything is all fine i bet

Yeah that's a pretty low dose....maybe write down some of your symptoms when it's clear to you or give her this posting....

[chasms]

yeah i will trythat does anyone else have some input too???

[neil w]

Hi chasms. Your symptoms are typical of many schizophrenics. Some may attribute their disorganized or unusual thoughts to angels and demons as you do, and others for example to government agencies who control them usually with implanted microchips. Those are two of the most common explanations by people with psychosis who cannot accept that they are indeed having psychotic symptoms.

If you read these forums you will find many stories similar to yours and they often have successful resolutions through medication, though there are other coping methods as well. I too urge you to go that route and explore both options.

Good luck

[powessy]

Originally Posted by chasms

yeah i will trythat does anyone else have some input too???

Hello chasms

I hear these voices 24/7 including through the night in dreams. I can tell you this much they only see your thoughts. If you find your mind being pulled down then they are confused about your thoughts. Take a minute or two to stop and in your thoughts explain your reasoning they learn better through imaginations but any explanation of your thoughts will help them understand. The angel as you call him or her they are expert imagination designers and can be used to help build explanations for them to understand.

next time you feel your mind being pulled down just try to explain things through thoughts and imaginations.

Powessy