[solita1]

Hi Im John, 28. After reading this forum I decided to sign up. I think my issue is more paranoia than anxiety but they are definitely related. I am normally a sociable person, have friends etc but since the age of about 19 ive had paranoia come and go. In the past few years it has got pretty bad. Basically it started with thinking my workmates were trying to get me sacked, stupid things like that, then thinking people didnt like me, it gradually snowbaled over the past 3 years to the stage where I am suspicious of everything. Not my family/gf. I dont think she is cheating or anything..but my issue is with strangers or when strange things happen. I think they are directly related to me and and think strangers are sending some kind of secret code.

Obviously I know this is ridiculious so I have some insight at least but I cant really stop it. Now when I go out I am always anxious waiting for something to happen then I cant stop thinking about it.

An example would be something like someone might be waving to someone in the distance and I will think they are waving to me even though I dont know the person. I think they are trying to send some kind of secret message that they are out to get me. I know this sounds ridiculous but writing it helps.

For the past 6 months or so Ive been noticing people changing direction on the street a lot, be it people or cars (going one way then suddenly going back the other way) when I approach and I have gotten it into my head that this is all some kind of secret message meant only for me. That there are 1000s of people involved in doing things like this as they know it will make me think about it over and over.

Last night for example I saw a man walk up the street while scratching his back. To me this was very suspicious. 10 mins later he walked back down the street scratching his back again. To me this was very 'suspicious' like the back scratching is some kind of secret signal meant only for me - some kind of threat. This is why going out in public makes me anxious.

To my gf and friends etc I am very sociable etc but if we are out and i see something it destroys my whole day and I'm basically acting to my friends as if I am having a good time.

Other examples are thinking my phone is tapped, people spying, following. I can be suspicious of anyone, people wearing sunglasses, people looking in my direction.

In the cold light of day I know this is all ridiculous. I have been doing meditation and I am very interested in spirituality and I think it is helping. I have been to the doctors twice but it was no use really. The meds actually made the paranoia/anxierty worse.

Basically Im writing just to see if anyone has any similar experiences. I know that I am not that important for some kind of secret society to be monitoring me or that Im in something like the truman show - but a lot of the time that is how it feels. I am still able to get on with my life it is just inside it kills me. Some days are better than others but I need this to stop and Im hoping to speak to some people here with similar experiences as I think thatll help greatly. As Ive said, I know all of this is ridiculous so having insight is a good sign - as Im typing this I realise how crazy all this sounds but 12 hours ago I was anxious and paranoid.

Sometimes I think people break into the house when I am out to move things around - with the aim of deliberately making me question things and trying to run me down mentally.

Anyone out there experienced any of this, even a tiny part of it?

Thanks for reading and I know I should see a doctor again but Id really just like to see if others have experienced any or many of these symptoms and coping strategies.

This is a great forum. Thanks again.

[Angelique67]

Hi, and welcome. Yes, I had some of those delusions. I thought the landlord of an an apartment in a different city used to break in and move my things around and spy on my computer. I thought he was making noises at night while I was trying to sleep. This snowballed into full blown psychosis when I moved cross country. The voice of the man continued and I thought I'd been followed by a sadistic stalker with cutting edge technological skills able to wire up my apartment for sound and with hidden cameras everywhere.

I haven't been in therapy yet in my current city, but I did go on meds, and that has helped a lot. I no longer have the delusions and the sound of the voice has greatly diminished. I wish you good luck on your journey to wellness.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Hi solita1 and welcome

I thought I was being inducted into a secret society and everything revolved around me from street fairs to the police or whatever so yeah I get you. What meds are you on-----is it an antipsychotic? That helped me at 80-90% and cbt therapy helped another 10-20%. You should be able to get cbt for psychosis in the UK its a really helpful addition to the meds.

[solita1]

Hi thank you for your replies. I havent taken meds yet, I got some anti depressants a fe years ago which made things worse so I stopped. Did either of you have much insight?

Did any of you read into things like hand gestures, spotting trends in random peoples behaviour. That seems to be the worst for me. Ive never been afraid or paranoid about anyone I actually know, it is generally just random people. If someone rubs their eye or something as I walk past I assume it is some kind of secret message being sent to me saying 'they' are going to get me. Ridiculous I know.

Sorry you have been through this too but glad the meds seem to be working. Im interested in knowing some more of the type of delusions you have.Are they constant, everyday interactions or is there something else more specific that triggers then? thanks and have a great pain free day.

[solita1]

Hi thanks for the replies I really appreciate it. I was on anti depressants a few years ago but they seemed to make things worse. Id be interested to know what other types of delusions you have. Are they constant? Do you read into peoples body language. If someone walks past me and rubs their eye or something I assume it is a secret message meant just for me to tell me 'they' are out to get me. Ridiculous I know but I cant help it. Ive never been paranoid about anyone I know really just random strangers and it seems to be non-stop. my mind just wont stop looking and reading way too much into trivial things that other people dont even think twice about. im glad ye seem to be on the mend with meds, i just want a peaceful life, meditation helps. thanks and have a great pain free day.

[emmamental]

Originally Posted by solita1

Hi Im John, 28. After reading this forum I decided to sign up. I think my issue is more paranoia than anxiety but they are definitely related. I am normally a sociable person, have friends etc but since the age of about 19 ive had paranoia come and go. In the past few years it has got pretty bad. Basically it started with thinking my workmates were trying to get me sacked, stupid things like that, then thinking people didnt like me, it gradually snowbaled over the past 3 years to the stage where I am suspicious of everything. Not my family/gf. I dont think she is cheating or anything..but my issue is with strangers or when strange things happen. I think they are directly related to me and and think strangers are sending some kind of secret code.

Obviously I know this is ridiculious so I have some insight at least but I cant really stop it. Now when I go out I am always anxious waiting for something to happen then I cant stop thinking about it.

An example would be something like someone might be waving to someone in the distance and I will think they are waving to me even though I dont know the person. I think they are trying to send some kind of secret message that they are out to get me. I know this sounds ridiculous but writing it helps.

For the past 6 months or so Ive been noticing people changing direction on the street a lot, be it people or cars (going one way then suddenly going back the other way) when I approach and I have gotten it into my head that this is all some kind of secret message meant only for me. That there are 1000s of people involved in doing things like this as they know it will make me think about it over and over.

Last night for example I saw a man walk up the street while scratching his back. To me this was very suspicious. 10 mins later he walked back down the street scratching his back again. To me this was very 'suspicious' like the back scratching is some kind of secret signal meant only for me - some kind of threat. This is why going out in public makes me anxious.

To my gf and friends etc I am very sociable etc but if we are out and i see something it destroys my whole day and I'm basically acting to my friends as if I am having a good time.

Other examples are thinking my phone is tapped, people spying, following. I can be suspicious of anyone, people wearing sunglasses, people looking in my direction.

In the cold light of day I know this is all ridiculous. I have been doing meditation and I am very interested in spirituality and I think it is helping. I have been to the doctors twice but it was no use really. The meds actually made the paranoia/anxierty worse.

Basically Im writing just to see if anyone has any similar experiences. I know that I am not that important for some kind of secret society to be monitoring me or that Im in something like the truman show - but a lot of the time that is how it feels. I am still able to get on with my life it is just inside it kills me. Some days are better than others but I need this to stop and Im hoping to speak to some people here with similar experiences as I think thatll help greatly. As Ive said, I know all of this is ridiculous so having insight is a good sign - as Im typing this I realise how crazy all this sounds but 12 hours ago I was anxious and paranoid.

Sometimes I think people break into the house when I am out to move things around - with the aim of deliberately making me question things and trying to run me down mentally.

Anyone out there experienced any of this, even a tiny part of it?

Thanks for reading and I know I should see a doctor again but Id really just like to see if others have experienced any or many of these symptoms and coping strategies.

This is a great forum. Thanks again.

Hi there. I really do relate to some of the things you were saying. For me, it was every time someone around me coughed, or the rhythmical click clack of someones footsteps, or even the tap dripping water from the tap.

Thats just a few examples.

Emma x

[Empossible1]

My partner just went through another short bout with paranoia and it was scary for him to feel like a all these people out in the world had bad intentions for him and wished him harm. He saw a psychiatrist and got some much needed rest and started taking Respirdal. The thoughts went away but I know they are still a worry as he's developed a heightened sense of security around the house but nothing too extreme. He no longer believes he's being watched or followed. This has happened a few times folllowing a lengthy manic period where he wasn't taking good care of himself. Sleeping, eating and abstaining from alcohol are all immediate steps to take. Also, a darkened bedroom to rest where you feel secure.
The good news is the cars and people in this case were 100%'real and he wasn't "seeing things." His thinking errors were believing that these strangers were malicious and out to harm him.
I hope this passes quickly and you have loved ones available to help you through it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi, John! I replied to your other post - I very much relate to what you are going through. Welcome to PC.

Here's my reply in your other post:

Hi John, welcome to PC!

I thoroughly read your post and I related to all of it, literally. I've had those feelings of paranoia, "signs" from people on the street, people trying to sabotage my work, even my life. Secret society, the whole bit.

That's good you have insight and I know how troubling it can feel.

For me, these are symptoms of psychosis due to delusions. I occasionally have these symptoms as part of my bipolar disorder 1, when I am under extreme stress for a long time. Antipsychotic medication clears it up quickly, the paranoia. I also have a lot of anxiety on a daily basis.

You're not alone and I'm glad you're here! PM me if you ever want to vent.

[solita1]

Thank you very much for the replies. I really appreciate it. Empossible1 - I hope your partner is ok. Has he tried meditation?

Rainyday107 - I have sent you a private message. Thanks for offering.