Roll Call 64

its gonna be a few days probably till i feel better

I hope it will be even sooner than that.

I'm installing the Marshmallow update on my phone and I hope it doesn't kill my phone!

Tour was awesome! I'm so tired I think 20mgs of ambien was too much last night. I'm groggy and foggy

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I have to go and spend the afternoon with my husbands extended family. That really bums me out

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hope you all feel better today

And of course it's the weekend . Have you tried calling the pharmacy for an emergency supply?

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No, I couldn't get it anyway. I have to wait until Tuesday for it now because it will be too late after calling the pharmacy and clinic on Monday. I don't pick up my stuff, they deliver it. I don't have transportation. :/

i think i am going to accept the bookkeeper position

That's good! Less contact with customers and probably a raise!

whats a bookkeeper do at a grocery store?

they manage the cashiers/baggers, like tell them when to go on break, etc. run the customer service desk (doing money orders, western unions, fax machine, returns/exchanges), audit the cashier's tills, count the money in the tills and set them up for tomorrow as well as U-scan.... stuff like that

Good luck! I know you are nervous about it but I'm sure your boss sees something in you & you'll do fine in the role.

hopefully itll go well! I know you can do it!

I'm sorry to hear that.

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Yay! Good luck.

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Yes, thanks, it's not a good situation. Oh well. I'll get the prescription on Tuesday. Hopefully going without it for 3 days isn't too bad.

I can't help but feel some of my ability to retain or recall things has declined. In the past I've always been quite good at knowing the meanings of words & circumstances in which to use them. However, recently whilst reading I find myself unsure of words which I have come across before & also feel even though I look up stuff I'm unsure of, I don't seem to grasp it in the same way or commit it to memory.

I've done a lot of reading over the past couple of months since I came off APs, but I feel that I am not engaging fully with what I am reading. I doubt I could readily recollect a lot of what I've read.

This disheartens me... I feel I'm not firing on all cylinders despite being medication-free & having comparatively few symptoms now. I guess perhaps my psychosis is still lingering on in subtle ways. Perhaps also there is the fact that successive bouts of psychosis are more likely to leave lasting changes. My CPN told me that perhaps I would never be the same as before my first episode of psychosis and now it seems another episode may have had further impacts.

Who knows, I certainly like to think I could get back to the way I used to be but I guess only time will tell.

Loial - psychosis can have lasting changes on your brain. correct me if im wrong but i heard it reshapes your brain or the way the synapses fire. something like that. but it does leave lasting changes. can they be changed? idk. perhaps.

i took a bath , i didnt even bathe myself i just laid there and thought a lot and ended up crying. i feel like such a freak for getting this upset about a promotion. shouldnt promotions be good news? i am just so scared of messing up and failing. not being able to handle it. getting too stressed out. T texted me that he has complete faith in me. im gonna do it , and maybe the intense fear is just for the anticipation. maybe once i start training i will feel better and more confident

I think you'll be great in the new job. Go for it!

Delighted for you hun! I hope it goes well!

what do you guys do about any ocd related tendencies you have in or with schizophrenia? i mean i have religious ocd but i also have thoughts that call people names and wish harm on people and i keep saying to myself out loud "dont say that!" or "stop" and it wont stop? are these voices? they wont stop.

No, they're just intrusive thoughts. I have that, and have since I was a child. I know I'd never act on those thoughts so it doesn't bother me too much.

thanks. i always want to act on them but i dont but i do sometimes but the menial stuff like locking the door 3 times or 7 times. odd numbers.