I dont feel good at all. I thought I HAD to kill myself because the script was writ...then I saw that my mind is playing out the scene....its seems to be happening in my mind unyet I feel its something Ive got to do..being instructed to do...i seem so deep into my mind i cant come out...i'm in it...

[okiedokie]

Hi Mouse,
I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

If those voices get too strong be sure to get thee to a hospital for some support.

You deserve all the best.
Take care,
Okie

[BeyondRedemption]

my god
i thought i was the only one
i feel for you
*hugs*
xxxxxxx

Beyond! Thank you, for identifying with me has helped me sooooo much! I'm not alone anymore! Its been a lonely few days.

[Soidhonia]

(((MOUSE))). I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. PLEASE seek the help you need so you can get the professional help you need during your time of need. I hope things get better for you soon (((MOUSE))). Soidhonia

[spiritual_emergency]

Hello mouse. I saw your post, I read it, I wished I had the words to say. I have been in such places myself before and I didn't go to the hospital, and I couldn't find a friend, and I did feel terribly alone. But by sitting with that kind of pain and loneliness I also discovered that I could -- something I wouldn't have known if I'd gone to the hospital or found a friend. We do not discover our personal strengths in the easy moments, only the difficult ones.

Five days has passed since you made your original post and you're still here. Maybe you thought a script had been written for you but obviously, there is a part of you that doesn't believe it because you rejected the script. That's your strength -- hard won, tough, but determined.

Meantime, as always, I recommend tonglen practice to those who are stuck in pain and feel alone there.

Take care.

Spritual_emergency, That appears to be so true! Until someone identified with my pain, confusion, I felt "dead"!

Thank you for all you do here!

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
mouse: Until someone identified with my pain, confusion, I felt "dead"!

I'm glad to know you're feeling a bit better today, mouse and glad to hear that BeyondRedemption's words helped you feel less alone.

<blockquote>

I think I've said this before, I'll say it again, that compassion or the sense of shared humanity, of our kinship with each other, this is what heals. This is what heals the desperation we can feel, the darkness we can feel and the chain reaction of aggression, or chain reaction of misery that gets triggered off by just sometimes a slight shift in the energy and we feel uneasy, or agitated, or unhappy in some way, and then that spirals into a chain reaction of ... pain.

-- Tonglen: Pema Chodron

</blockquote>