Feelings so scared ALONE

Alone but NOT AlONE....I now know that I am suffering pchycosis sp? aloning with very paranoid thinking so basically Dr.s are saying since this has gone on for along time and I just covered it up with other means Which i DON'T DO anymore!!! I am schiaffective more than likely...Now the one person that understands me I feel totally hates me..FOR NO reason....Like nothing has happened or anything but I can't even talk to her??? She is my only friend that I have that helped me to talk about it...This is a whole other world for me not living in denial about what I see or hear...If only I could reach out to her...I just don't trust her at all and now I feel sick even typing that...What's worse is I think that she hates me and dosen't TRUST ME either??? Suggestions?? Thanks Nerak

(((((Neraklyn))))) You are not alone.. We care. I don't have psychosis. but please keep reaching out.

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Neraklyn said:
Alone but NOT AlONE....I now know that I am suffering pchycosis sp? aloning with very paranoid thinking so basically Dr.s are saying since this has gone on for along time and I just covered it up with other means...

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Psychosis is a scary word. Whatever is going on, is going on. Maybe you can find someone to explore it with, someone who isn't scared by the big bad bogy.

Hi Neraklyn, I can't tell from your posting whether this distance from your friend is paranoid thinking - you say you feel and think that your friend hates you for no reason. It sounds like you're judging her response to you??? But without actually having talked to her??? Let me know what the situation is.

I'm only bringing this up because it seems an obvious question to ask as you say you have very paranoid thinking. Me too, and I know how easy it is to get things wrong.

Hugs from me too.

Dear Neraklyn, It has been sometime since you last
posted on psyche central? Have you been able to sort
things out? Is your friend still freaked out or have
things been better for the both of you?
Try to see if your friends feelings
might have been hurt. Get feedback from those you trust
and get back to us here. We hold open our hands and minds
to you.

DB

Neraklyn. I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. Schizoaffective disorders can be treated by a professional. There are many options available at this time for your disorder and you should try and seek help for yourself so that you will be better able to cope with the paranoia and the other issues you may be having at this time. Take care of yourself. Soidhonia

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder fifteen years ago. Next week will be the first time I honestly tell my doctor what I go through on a typical day. The reason why it's taken me fifteen years to get honest instead of telling the doctors the truth about the nightmare I've been living on and off the medication, sober and drunk, is that I thought my symptons were too bizarre to discuss. Just last week I started reading Surviving Schizophrenia and was shocked that what I was going through was not unique. I been off the booze for 2 months now taking medication for both schizoaffective and manic depressive disorders, however, I still haven't really told anyone the whole truth of my situation. I am hopeful that when I do, they give me the proper medication and I can put this hell behind me.

Good for you, George! Hope things work out well and aren't too scary telling the doctors the whole story and that they are able to help you.