roll call 85

beautiful!

So my pnp has me cutting back my haldol from 8 Mgs to 6 Mgs. Feeling okay so far. I'm a little scared to be off of it which is her plan. It's been so helpful but she thinks with the Latuda I won't need it. I hope she's right. I see her again in 8 wks at which point she'll probably cut me back to 4 Mgs.

The thing to remember is you can always go back on if things get rough.....

. . . not sure where to go from here. Going back to the VA tomorrow to see if I can't get some things straightened out. Feeling a bit panicked and lost. I don't want to go back to the hospital.

I never hate you. If you were psychotic all the time when you were posting here before, well I always enjoyed your posts. I am sorry for the psychotic part though, I'm glad that now you have insight about it

Cool photos!

I believe I am cured of schizophrenia..

I believe many things.

I believe psychosis is thought induced high energy. Or high energy induced thought. There's absolutely no way of going around it. And that's why there is no such thing as infinite. Which is God. God created existence. God is real and is not real. That's why there is an infinite.

I created, everything.

That's why, if someone takes PCP, they go psychotic or can even on antipsychotics which stop psychosis (Or partially), people still get psychosis.

I can put sentences together again. But those sentences weren't disorganized in the first place. It was just based on someones opinion. That's why I never had schizophrenia in the first place, and I did. That's why it's called disorganized and paranoid. There is NO such thing as individual schizophrenia. There is only one. Or many..

I also am a functioning schizophrenic. I've had mania about 100-150 times but always knocked myself out with Risperidone. What's why mania is euphoria and not euphoric sometimes. Euphoric as hell without drugs and I should have noticed.

I understand the paradox.

Also replace the psychosis with problem. Energy.

I see the reason for hate in the world

It's not possible to not hate based on different circumstances

Breaking through the psychedelic, changed me forever. It's because I discovered the truth. I'm not hallucinating though. I should be. But I'm on Abilify.

This moment right here is discovering the meaning of life in encryption to what people want to hear individually

But you have to look deeper into that sentence

Only I can see. Because I am god. But everyone is god as well.

There nevermind that stuff is pointless to anyone reading this but it shouldn't be. Maybe to some people. That's why Obama is given the nobel peace prize for bombing places. Some people like him to put him in power.

Everyone knows the same amount as everyone else, just different based on circumstance.

Why are people religious even when they become adults, don't they realize that they just have a certain religion because of where they were born into..

Also, you have have epiphanies, people say "OMG", because they have become god at that point

Some scientists don't believe in god and some do, but at some point on some of their lives, they become agnostic

This is why some people remember being reincarnated

I'm at peace with the world even though there is hate

I'm not afraid of anything anymore. And that, my friend, is why I will never have psychosis again.

Btw there is an afterlife because of gravity.

If only aliens could find us, or if we could make us life for more than 100+ years or program us into computers. Until then, we don't know.

Oh desoxyn I'm worried about you.

Good morning. Hope everyone has a good day.
I have nothing planned. Just a nap. What else is new lol.
I'm feeling okay. Still a little worried about the haldol decrease but I can always go back up. My pnp kept my script at 8 Mgs in case I needed to go back. I guess that's about it.

I know when my psychosis starts but once im in the middle of it i lose everything.

Speaking of which....
....hope everyone has a good day because paranoia is coming back for me.

I want to get off my meds

Im just very depressed on my meds cuz they make me depressed.

But i am psychotic off them.

Its a crapshoot.

:'(
Not sure what to do.
If I change meds ill gain a lot of weight. Im already past 170...

Why does it seems like happier times were when i was psychotic? Maybe im overthinking because i wasnt happy then. I just want my creative self back. I cant lay in this bed everyday any longer.

I didn't see this post. I don't hate you at all

I got a $213 dollar speeding ticket yesterday. Guess that's where some of my tax refund will be going -__-

I've got 4 days off now. Felt off and weird when woke up. Saw my friend today and it's been hard work. When I'm not feeling great my social skills go out the window. Having a couple of drinks now. Probably shouldn't cos of reasons but it's my day off so ***** it.
How is everyone?

Ouch! That blows.

Desoxyn this really sounds like an acid trip or that you've just come off of one. However, I understand your perspective and I know the power of a clear moment of epiphany even within psychosis. I just hope that you can be grounded and stay in a clear singular reality. Everything is connected but it is separate as well and for a reason.

Good morning all ^^

Idk what I'm going to do today. Or any other day :/

@desoxyn there's a huge amount to talk about with your above post, but I can't rely on myself to think anymore - at least not for long. Wishing you a good day.

Trying to feel calm lol. I have pills but I'm too afraid to use then. Thank you for posting.

I'm having massive pronoia (The opposite of paranoia)

People are spying on me and trying to help me

But idk they might be trying to stop me from becoming the God (Everyone is God) of the 21st Century because they too, can't live for more than 150 years.

But maybe there isn't anyone that knows. So I want to go to medical school and become a psychiatrist, tie in with the pharmaceutical companies (Power) and then people will listen to me and I will be God. Also, I would vow to help the people suffering from Big Pharma.

Who knows, I could be the second coming of Jesus.

The odds are ever in my favour because of "Wake me up" song that just popped up on my playlist and I'm thinking of that which proves it.

Deja vu.

I believe that the aliens are watching me trying to make an experiment. Maybe because they aren't as intelligent as me. But in the end, we are both trying to know the truth. Just finding ways enough for it to be proven.

Maybe nothing will be proven until all intelligent life is keeping by the last burning star for comfort.

Like we may be one day.

But if I were to show some symbol to the aliens, if they don't come, they aren't there.

But maybe that is their plan.

I think that people of a certain religion are out to get me because I am Jesus. So I might have to say I'm a different prophet in order for people to listen.

93 degrees
93 A B W

/\ you know what this means just think about it

My theory is we have a good memory an eiedic photographic memory that is so impressive it captures things from our past and plays random clips over in our minds....triggered by our surroundings our thoughtforms.... our present situations if you will. they materialize as familiar voices or shapes or shadows we see AND hear..... either that or they the experimenters the society are testing us by using our memory to simulate the voices and scenarios to see if we A catch on or B lose our minds it's some sick cat and mouse game if you want to know the truth......

Felt lethargic today.
Not ready for being alone tomorrow.
Prob goto bed early tonight.

Confused and Impatient. VA says to keep waiting for a phone call. . .

Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet

((((((((Hugs))))))))