[tplvth]

My mother is mentally ill undiagnosed, untreated. I've been gone since I was 18 mostly because of it. She is a hoarder just like you see on TV. If you touch her stuff she goes nuts. But there is so much more than that I believe after all of these years it might be schizophrenia.

I am "the anti-christ". She has spent her life hating me and doing everything she can to see me suffer and not succeed. She still is doing it. I never did anything, I didn't ask to be born. My mother is pure evil and I have no sympathy for her disease.

I have spent years calling agencies, police, lawyers, city offices and nothing. Nothing has been done. She is 76 and crazier than ever but she has money and a high IQ. I guess that's why she has gotten away with everything and never been arrested or had any consequences.

She seems to have all the symptoms I read about except the voices part and the harmful to self part. She has no friends and never has- she hates people, she has no emotions and is cold as ice, she doesn't bathe and dresses like a homeless person, hoarder and OCD, paranoid about certain things, hates loud noise, she thinks I'm going to kill her or that doctors will try to kill her so she doesn't go, she had a fantasy about the 2 relationships she was in that these men would marry her (she's never been married) it seems to me they just used her and didn't want a relationship. She blames me for that too. She's a compulsive liar. After 49 years I'm still finding secrets that she lied about.

There's no helping her. She doesn't want it and the more I fight the more she hates me. I pretended for many years tried to stay on her good side by just going along with her delusional world but I refuse to do that. It is not working for me anymore and I get nothing out of it since that's not a relationship. Do any of you just walk away from family? She is already dead to me.

[joshuas-mommy]

This sounds hopeless for my mom.

[Sometimes psychotic]

While I don't doubt she has some sort of mental illness it really doesn't sound like schizophrenia---the voices are kind of an important part of that, and if you don't have them you pretty much need to have delusions---those are the defining features the rest just comes along with.

As far as walking away from family---my dad is an alcoholic and I distanced myself for several years because of that so yes....but he drinks far more responsibly around me now so while we don't really talk much there is some reconciliation.

I also don't think it sounds like schizophrenia/psychosis. My guess would be along the personality disorder lines, but this is the internet and we are not professionals, so who knows. But I think what matters is not the label, especially since she will never go to a pdoc to get a diagnosis/be treated, but how you cope with her behaviour.

I had a very emotionally abusive grandmother - at a guess I would say she had narcissistic personality disorder, but I don't know for sure. My parents finally cut her out of our lives when I was 11yo, but by that point a lot of damage had already been done. It took a lot of work on my self to get over the way that she treated me because I internalised it; thinking I was bad and that was why she was so mean to me. I don't regret cutting her out of my life at all: it was the only option for our psychological wellbeing. In fact, I wish that my parents had done it many years earlier, as trying to set healthy boundaries with her repeatedly failed.

But I realise how hard it is to do. Even now my father still gets abuse for cutting out his own mother (who spent his entire life telling him how she never wanted him and that she had wanted him to be born a girl!) - some random aunt who knows nothing about what my grandmother was really like just harassed him for not attending her funeral recently!! So it is difficult to go against social convention and lots of people won't be able to understand how you can/want to do that, but you need to do what's best for you. Whether that's limiting contact or cutting it off completely, only you will know for sure.

If you don't have good social supports irl, I suggest maybe seeing a therapist to help you make this decision, untangle yourself from your mother if that's what you decide, and to help you heal from the awful way that she's treated you.

Wishing you all the best

*Willow*

[RainyDay107]

Welcome to the forums

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central