Surviving Anhedonia

dude. dude. dude. There are two dual n pack games on my windows phone. There is literally an app for that. What if I remember the past three moves instead? I can do that pretty easily.

Yes normal people should be able to get up to 5 after training. I can't get past 1 right now.....

Ok just got up to two, but still it's rough going for me....

First round is done. Day 1.

Glad you're giving this a shot

Incidentally found this..

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20034615

The reboxetine part was what was interesting but upon a closer look it's contraindicated in bipolar....can't remember are you bipolar or sz? It impacts norepinephrine ....apparently can also reverse AP induced weight gain....talk about a wonder drug if you're not bipolar.....

For your short term memory loss, maybe behind the scene of your known mental state something is causing stress on your hippocampus. Usually stress, anxiety, depression cause shrinkage/problems with it. That's what happened with me. Are you experiencing any of those symptoms? My roommate, ironically, has been on Lexapro AND Abilify since before 5 years ago at least. She experiences emotions and she doesn't have memory problems. I'm googling Geodon and memory loss and getting just as many hits as with Abilify. Is there some form of constant stress you're under?

I found this on a site https://bipolar.newlifeoutlook.com/bipolar-memory-loss/ Saying memory cognition can coincide with bipolar...
The site also said this on the second page:
I know from personal experience Lithium didn't give me memory issues, however I would often find myself lost and confused the first few months on Lamictal.

Are there periods where you have bp symptoms and your memory gets worse and then your symptoms go away and your cognition gets a bit clearer?

I don't know what illness I have, only that Geodon helps it. During my only psychosis, that lasted a year, I was hypersexual and suicidally depressed, paranoid, feeling persecuted. I was very hypersexual. Ah the good ol days where simple philosophy could give me deep chills. Anyway, if I wasn't thrown in the hospital then i'd be like my father, still in psychosis. I didn't have any mood swings, it was like I was living in a mixed state. Before the delusion started I was such a rock too. Man i was prepared to go to UofM while holding a full time job, working out every other day, sex, sex sex. I was a machine.

I really don't want to test whether I'd still have a delusion while unable to be manic or depressed. It might be revealing that I was manic depressive on Lexapro though, because that's common with bipolar patients. That would really be telling. My father though is celibate completely. He doesn't do anything like that because he fears he's constantly being watched. He doesn't really read anymore either, that use to be a great source of pleasure in his life. He said it's because of his eye sight but he has reading glasses on his table. He just watches a lot of tv and huddles in his house. He use to gamble. Also, when he was new to the delusion he leased a corvette that cost him dearly. His delusion is grandiose...

Reboxetine not US approved. That's the second med I can't touch now. I'd be interested to learn more about it.

Mostly I'm having anxiety symptoms according to the pdocs miniquizzes......and my thinking was way worse when I started my new job....but it's still not great. I actually read a paper today on grm3 which is the mutation I have....apparently for some mutations treatment actually enhances cognitive impairment this is with any AP. Another grm3 mutation did not have the same effect so there is a genetic component in our response to meds even within the same gene.

Honestly I don't think I get bipolar symptoms to any extent the AP is a pretty good mood stabilizer.....

So stress may be a factor. Is the anxiety driven more by biology or ideas? If you just get bouts of great depression once a day I'd recommend a benzo. However, if you're feeling it all day long then maybe something more like gabapentin. memory problems are "less common" drugs.com says.

What she offered was an ssri....I think because my family has a history of addiction.....my last pdoc was all about the heavier meds though.

Just did 2 n=3 dual n back in a row....yay! I'm learning!

Fawk yeah, SP. Pretty soon you'll be able to use the force and do breast push ups!

Ok, so I was wondering if I understood this right: you get the physical sensations of pleasure/arousal, but not the mental sensations?? Is that really considered anhedonia?? I would've thought anhedonia meant neither types of sensations were experienced, but I will admit that I'm finding the meaning of words disconcerting again. What I'm wondering is, if you can still physically experience pleasure, just not cognitively, could you be overthinking it?! For me, when I get stuck in endless metacognition, it really confuses me because I don't know what's actually happening and what I think is or isn't happening. The more I focus on physical sensations inside my body, the more I doubt my experiences/perception. So for me, what helps is to get out of my head completely and just be in the moment. So maybe you could just be in the moment of physical pleasure without analysing your cognitive appreciation (or not) of it?? I don't know if that resonates, or if I've completely misunderstood what you are saying??

Wrt reboxetine - IME that drug made me as sick as a dog! I was on heightened alert: any unexpected occurrence (e.g. the phone ringing, my alarm clock!!) would cause a MASSIVE startle response and my heart would race, and I would sweat and hyperventilate; just would completely OTT freak the **** out over every little thing. From what I can tell, anything that messes with noradrenaline and alpha-1 enough seems to do that to me. It also made me nauseated to the point of vomiting, and gave severe postural hypotension to the point of fainting, but the OTT startle response was the worst part. Iirc I think I only managed 2 weeks (inc dropping the dose) before I couldn't take any more. But then I don't get on with most drugs so YMMV, if you could ever get ahold of some?

Also, how long ago now was it that you stopped the lamotrigine?? I don't think it's been that long really iirc? Anything less than a year or two and I still think that it could improve, if it was caused by the lamotirgine. I know that that probably feels like way too long to wait, but people unfortunately can take that long to recover from the effects of drugs; not everyone, but some people for sure

*Willow*

Anhedonia is tricky and it's different for each person just as sz is different for each person. Anhedonia means "no pleasure" but I can't even feel mental depression or loneliness either. That's why I'm pro-solitude lol. I can't say I feel pleasure in any form except when I cum and there is no lasting mental effect followed by it. It's very physical in that the sensation was felt and it ended. Next task. I tend to drink alcohol to help sedate my cycle of suffering of fear, hate, anger then a feeling of hopelessness.

Do people with schizophrenia need both hallucinations and delusions? No they just need one form of psychosis necessary.

So far I've survived by trying to find hope where I can. I don't dwell on my anhedonia except in certain circumstances where it's been a long day the frustration of know thing it could be bettered if I could feel a positive emotion once a day. My anhedonia wears me down slowly each day. I can't help but notice that I can't feel pleasure...

It's been over two years sense I've been off the SSRI, I felt pleasure before I was on that. It's been about since June now since I've been off Lamotrigine, my main source of faint hope. Now when going for this long term hope we're betting on repair will happen because damage has been done.

I wrote a letter and delivered it to my Pdoc describing in detail about my anhedonia. I also went on to Researchgate.net and started a question thread titled How to Treat Anhedonia? I get pretty good responses on that site for mental health concerns. I asked where are there less negative symptoms regarding schizoaffective compared to schizophrenia I got the most views out of any other question my institution (EMU)has ever asked.

So there is this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NSI-189
It failed for MDD in phase two though... But in a forum a guy said it helped his anhedonia 70%.

Prevent cognitive and memory decline? How in the world would a med ever do that?!?! Sounds like all the promises of gabapentin. : /

Reversing post SSRI Anhedonia / PSSD - Brain Health - LONGECITY
This guy named FLEX on this site thinks that the uptick of serotonin that comes along with SSRI treatment is the cause post ssri induced anhedonia.
I really don't get any of that though. It's above my pay grade.
What is PSSD?
EDIT :PSSD is Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. Oh god thank god I don't have that... How devastating..
EDIT#2: These guys seem to suffer from both PSSD and Anhedonia because of the SSRI. They believe it all is related to 5-HT1A.
wiki:

Wow that thread is way over my head. I would like to give it to my Psychiatrist to see if she could make sense. she has a degree in neuro...something.

After reading that thread I'm reminded of something that Tweaky once told me. Once you try an upper they permently strengthen that pathway. From my novice understanding that's what happened with this 5-HT1A receptor that is interrelated to SSRI's, no?

It is. It gets desensitized over time and takes a longer time to reboot on SSRI's. Because if something can reverse it such as another drug (Like a psychedelic - For a period of time even though some people say that the point of taking one is because it lasts forever in a way which is why it's used in therapy now - Don't take those though), it's not just going to be forever. Even certain life choices and thinking in thought can reverse it for even a certain amount of time such as when people with anhedonia get "Windows of pleasure". Most people have reported that phenomenon so it just proves my sort of thinking but not 100% sure.

Ketamine might work...

I have heard of ketamine treatments for persistent depression, but i don't know of anyone who has received them. I would be surprised if it had long term positive effects? But i would be curious to talk to someone with first hand experience. Are you interested in pursuing it for yourself?

There was actually something I read the other day about not sleeping curing depression but just for one day.....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...ssion-day.html