Roll Call 99

No need to apologize! I'm just joking around.

That's nice...travel can be fun....sorry you're feeling anxious though

Is that some kind of filter or something? I have no idea how everyone ends up in bunny ears these days.....I am so not in

Hey newtus....are you reconsidering this guy you're friends with, or totally friend zoning him?

Thanks yeah, I used to handle long travel very well...but not anymore these days. And I'll have a 24 hour trip total going to the States coming up. I'll just keep the diazepam handy...At least I'm not afraid to drive anymore with the new car. Much more secure driving that one.

He's looked out for me many times, especially during our relationship.

When I was first on Abilify I could not fly the waiting made me insane...like pacing etc, then sitting in a confined seat, yikes...I just had a lot of energy and needed to be constantly entertained. Luckily at one of the airports there was free wifi so I was watching Netflix....

Went the whole last day without any hallucinations...now there was voices here and spirits I saw at the door to the computer room...

Im trying my hardest to reconsider but i just cant find it in me to find him physically attractive. He would be a great friend but he also told me he needed to back away from me for a day (this was yesterday but not the whole day) because he said its hard for him to be friends cuz he finds me attractive.

Hes like the "poor" guy that never did well in HS. Never went to college. Went straight to having a job. Dresses sloppy. Has a mohawk. All that is just not appealing to me in physical attractiveness. I like a guy who keeps himself cleaned up. I told him this. He has a theory on guys that look scruffy but do well, versus clean cut guys that dont provide.

Other than that hes super nice and sweet and respectful. But i think part of him being that way is becUse he likes me so much. I mean not the nice part. But maybe the sweet part. But he was more laid back today with me.

That's nice....I'm always glad when people can be friends with an ex.....I hate losing someone I've invested that much time in but sometimes it can't be helped.

Ahh, yeah I heard Abilify can have an energizing effect. It was sedative for me...

I'm glad I booked with Norwegian Airlines...they use 787 Dreamliners for their Trans-Atlantic flights. Bar none the most comfortable, quiet planes I've ever rode in. And I've been in quite a few planes over the years.

Yeah I was just wondering because you sounded different about him like maybe he still had a chance....are you in the camp of immediate attraction or nothing or do you think it can grow from a minimal level?

I met a girl long distance on OKC that lived in Canada. We hit it off quite well. I put a section in my profile about books and authors and one of the terms was romanticism which she connected with. She would read some of my book and give her thoughts and we would talk about personal things... then I told her of my illness and she freaked out. She thought I was dangerous and then no contact from then on. She seemed like a sincere person but her ignorance on mental illness was gross. Our souls had a rare connection until that friction came in. Sigh...

Those Dreamliners look amazing!

I think it can grow from nothing. I wasnt attracted to my ex at all when i met him. Same goes for my first serious relationship.

I fear the immediate attraction thing because those never last. I tend to have lasting relationships with men who i have built a friendship with.

That sucks DT....the mere fact that she doesn't have you now is it's own karma...

Ok well I hope your friendship grows because he seems like a nice guy...

OKC is really not so good there is some ignorant people on there!

I was so afraid of watching a beautiful mind with him today some of the movie in, because i thought the parts where john nash was about to go into the hospital and in there would make him see similarities in me and my illness. I got anxiety after the movie and i stopped talked. I starting biting my lip so much they started bleeding and i was afraid to ask him to leave. Eventually i asked him to leave because i need to be alone right now.

The movie was triggering for me. Which is why i keep away from movies and tv altogether.

He liked the movie tho. Not sure what he thinks about me now, even tho ive already told him everything.

Something I found out yesterday. The head of the guy who runs an anime convention (my favorite anime convention) is in trouble for sexual assault. It didn't surprise me.

wow that's horrible...

They are! I'm really hoping that I get to ride a 737 MAX as well from the hops between countries. They're based off the design of the Dreamliners and are just as quiet. The old 737-800s they used are rather loud with the CFM56 engines.

Don't mind me, I'm geeking out. My wife made me interested in some aviation stuff.

Ive been focusing on my reading and hobbies and learning about who i am and my interests. Now that im in between relationships.

online dating for men and women are completely different games. Women get bombarded by suitors while men have to play the game of carefully paying attention to a profile and making each introduction sincere, hoping for a response from a woman, knowing it will be hit or miss regardless. In my experience, out of the hundred or so messages I've sent, I've only received a dozen or so women that hit me up first. I have a feeling male essages to female messages are highly outweighed. No criticism to women. They get the pick of the litter, good for them! And boy I've experienced some picky women! This is the reason I don't even try anymore, because I'm not at my best and because of that I wont find what I'm looking for. IE, they wont want damaged goods.

For a long time all I could watch were Disney movies...

See it seems to me that you two are pretty close already if he knows all your stuff and hasn't even flinched....

I was dating this one guy and he wanted to see um love and mercy about Brian Wilson....I thought great I can see how he reacts to mental illness without telling him about mine...needless to say it was not a good outcome, best not to know people's honest opinions sometimes....