Roll Call CIV (104)

Dang my phones already at 37 percent and its only noon.

I get paid tomorrow. I can't wait

It's a nice 30 degrees today! ^^

Fahrenheiiitttt..

Brrr. It's 60 today and I'm freezing.

It's so hot here I keep sweating. Equatorrrr

**sigh** My mood is good, my state of mind is good. But my cognition is still suffering. I guess I have to realize the two of them are separate things and don't always go hand in hand with each other.

I'm trying to work on all this budgeting, plan making, working out details, and it's soooo hard for me to think coherently doing this stuff. I used to be really good at working these things out and it didn't drain my mind like it does now.

I'm jealous lol

My cognition is bad too But imagine the nice trip that you'll have soon, it's worth it I think

it's a terrible thing to have happening, poor cognition. I'm sorry you experience it, too. I remember my days of sharp thinking skills with longing desire to experience it again.

But yes, I am certainly looking forward to this trip. It's going to be a very nice thing to happen.

So I went out to the living room, and in the hallway leading to the door out of the apartment, I saw an extremely vivid spirit walking in the hallway and vanishing. My wife and roommate were in the living room and kitchen, and so there was no explanation for it. It was freaky out how vivid it wassss. o.o

I used to have a sharp thinking skills too and my memory was awesome. Ah the good old times.

81 here in texas

I had a creepy experience at the grocery today. So I was picking some drinks and there was a guy came near me. When I took a bottle of milk I heard he said "what flavor do you want, oh that one, okay". I thought he was talking to someone else so I looked at him to make sure but turned out he was alone. Then I took another bottle and he said "ahh what should I take now", so I looked at him again and our eyes met. Then he said "looking at me like I'm insane, oh never mind people can think whatever they want". And I left him immediately but I still could hear him talking to himself again.

There are four possibilities here.
1. He has mental illness
2. He might try to flirt with me
3. He tried to distract me to steal my wallet or
4. He wasn't real and I was hallucinating

I kinda confronted my mom just now about her last minute airline ticket to see my sister. Apparently my bro in law is on a trip and my sister doesnt want to be alone with her kid the whole time. I guess hes a handful. But that made me even more upset because my sister always has someone at her house to help her. She already had her husbands mom down for a month staying with her.

And then my mom said she feels wanted there and wants to go. And i was like “where do you not feel wanted then?”.

Obviously this is all bull because ive asked my mom to come see me and she doesnt want to. I even asked her to come see me today. And she said it was too far. But my sister lives on the other side of the state? I live 45 min away.

Yea i get it now.

She doesnt give a rats butt about me.

eep, that sounds creepy as hell. I'm sorry it happened.

Creepy. I'm going to say he was trying to flirt with you.

Im gonna say he has mental illness

I'm sorry she treats you so bad.

I shouldnt even care anymore. Its crazy that i still do since my eyes are wide open now. Shes 60. Im almost 30. Ill never recieve the love i need from her like other kids recieve from their mom. All this crap on fb about how moms love their kids more than anything...i laugh at that because its simply not true in my situation.

Yeah Idk which one. If he has mental illness though I actually don't mind being his friend maybe he needs help and support since it's quite rare here that people with mental illness get some treatment. Some of them are locked in a traditional 'hospital' with no meds (only herbal meds.. seriously). Those places don't even have beds and they sleep on a carpet. Then the shaman or something like that would 'cure' them by praying (yeah right). But I didn't want to take risk to talk with him because the criminals here do 101 ways to trick people.

I'm so sorry

I wish everyone had a mom like me. I always felt safe and loved. I miss her terribly

I've gone from having a really nice savings account to having nothing but $60/month. It's so depressing.

My friend is bringing stuff from my apartment after he eats. I guess that's good. I'll be glad to see him, anyway.

Herbal meds and praying to cure mental illness. Sounds legit.
That's nice of you to want to be his friend but you are right. Your safety comes first.

I'm sorry about your money. That's so unfair. It would be one thing if they were paying for the things you need (like the ophthalmologist).
Glad you'll be seeing your friend.