Roll Call 114

morning.

I hope so too. I am told I have a very androgynous voice. My pitch frequency is 145Hz, the therapist said the androgynous tone is around 150Hz. So with the surgery I could expect an increase of about 70Hz. Which would bring my voice to around 215Hz, well in the female range. Granted, I could raise pitch with therapy, but I also want it to be a permanent increase with surgery.

but the moon was so pretty this morning, i got to see it right as it was fully eclipsed!!

That's awesome---it was cloudy here

aww that sucks. there were spotty clouds here and it got covered up not long after i saw it. always makes me think how wild it must have been to see these events before humans knew anything about astronomy.

Sorry you're having issues with your ED

As far as hanging out with other people with MI I think there are plusses and minuses. My bf is a "normal" dude ---I had a single hallucination and he was like you need to call the doctor, I laughed. OMG if we all called the doc every time haha. He means well but he'll never understand like you guys do.

As far as people with MI I feel more like its like being in a war together the way that soldiers bond. You talk about the battles, and more importantly how you won, you support one another and you understand

Before humans knew about astronomy I would have slept through this one haha.

But yes it would have been wild, especially the complete solars where it goes dark and the crickets start up.

oh my god thats precious, he gonna foot the bill for all those doctor visits?

i think theres a difference though between being around people with eds and people with other MI. like on here we would never be competing to see who could have the loudest voices or the weirdest hallucination, because its never a race to the bottom the same way an ed can be. i do try to keep to the sections of forum where people are less competitive but thats just part of the nature of the thing in a sense. even if youre not trying to compete, you kinda are and you assume everyone else is. irl i try not to keep anyone whos constantly on a diet or has an ed close in my life because especially in high school it seemed like i was everybodys trigger, all my best (girl) friends ended up developing eds of their own like i was contagious.

Oh I see, if anything I have an eating too much disorder thanks to the APs, but yeah I can see how that might happen, I mean its the basic concept behind weight wathcers meetings...competition....

weight watchers meetings are terrifying, i can't imagine being weighed in front of a crowd of people like that without bursting out sobbing. diet culture in general is scary. sorry about the side effects, sounds like a different kind of hell.

Yeah I plan on going back to eating mostly vegetarian it was working better for me and its pretty darn healthy---my lipid profiles have increased on the APs too.

Hello guys.

FindingReason: I'm sorry that you are feeling suicidal. Is there anything I can help you with? You can always talk to me on here or on Facebook. You're one of my favorite people on here I would hate to hear news of you offing yourself. I'm glad you reconsidered... If anything I would talk to your doctor about that unless you rather go to the hospital.

Zoloft haver: I remember going to a psych hospital that specialized in eating disorders. I don't have an ED but I notice some competition and cattiness between each other with ED. It gets that way sometimes when you're around each other around a long period of time.

Today is dragging. I just want to be done with work

Sorry to hear that. I felt that way all the time when I had worked. Not a fun feeling.

You are weighed privately before the meeting at weight watchers. I used to go.

Im at the bf’s house before he goes to work.

oh good i guess thats something they dont do anymore, or maybe i was thinking of a different diet club. maybe jenny craig was the one who did that.

Afternoon/Evening,

I've had a pretty good day I guess. I got up earlier at 8:30am but I went back to bed until 11am after breakfast. Will try again tomorrow!

Went out and got some nice fruity e-juice. Then I just played Zelda all afternoon. Just now finished my dishes and about to cook dinner.

I dare say I'll be back on Zelda after dinner but I'm going to try not play until bedtime.

Oh and good news. The X-Files starts next Monday in the UK. I'm really looking forward to it. And not too long after Homeland should be appearing I think.

Oh god I havent watched x-files in a long time. I love the theme song. As for Zelda I havent played it since back in the supernintendo days. Plus I was like 5 and basically played house in the game and visiting other peoples houses to get treasure or whatever. Funtimes.

Hey, just studied for half an hour. Not much but it's something. I have an extra credit assignment and another chapter to read this week.

I went to sleep around 10:30 and got up around 12pm today. I just cannot stay awake!

I was supposed to get a physical today but the doctor called in sick so they cancelled my appointment and rescheduled it for a few weeks from now. I'm curious how much I weigh now , I have been losing lots of weight from eating healthy, exercising and getting off Invega. I have an idea of the range because I weighed myself with one of those manual scales at the gym but I am not sure precisely because I am not good at using those.

Have RCIA tonight. Nothing else going on today. Just gonna read and relax.

I love the feeling of losing weight. The more I do it the better I feel. The less I eat the more I lose, it's great!

Sometimes I feel focus without the Concerta and this is one of those times. I drank a large Tim Hortons coffee.

Got my injection this morning and soon it will kill my hypomanias.

My psychologist asked about delusions. They fine. Forgot to tell him about negative symptoms. I told him about the fact that I can't sleep at night but sleep in the day and the rest of the night because my mind won't shut up so he said to write my thoughts down on a piece of paper every night before I sleep.

Which is kind of what I do on here but my fake thoughts still spin in my head idk.

Anyone use moodtrack app on iPhone? My username is Blue_BirdNY

Blue_Bird, what was going on last night? I'm worrying you might go off track now that you discontinued the AP.

Hey, how’re you all?
So I didn’t take my olanzapine last night and this morning I was awake and alert at a reasonable time! Taking the amisulpride now, no noticeable side effects other than I feel a bit sick a couple of hours after I’ve taken it. Might be too early to see if it’s helping yet, but I kinda feel a bit better.
Friend came round today to see the pup, had a nice day chatting.
My appetite has vanished. Once again the olanzapine was messing with me. Hoping I can lose some weight now I’m off it.
Took the pup for his first ever walk tonight, he looked so happy and was sniffing everything. He’s such a sweetie.

It's just a lot of anxiety I'm dealing with, I'm doing good without the AP though. I'm sometimes afraid to leave the house because I've been being followed by people and the government has been out to get me , they have been at it for awhile but have been flying under the radar so I can't notice them. They are slowly making their presence known so they can terrorize me before they can move in and take action. That's the problem, so I've been stressed about that going on and it's caused my anxiety level to go up a huge amount.