Roll Call 114

Sorry to you guys who are struggling tonight, hope you manage to find something that helps

The bf got his bear balloon bouquet

What’s a bear balloon bouquet? That sounds adorable. How is he doing?

They gave him the wrong balloons though they were supposed to say get well.

He's got acute diverticulitis so he's got to stay until maybe Thursday because of the possibility of rupture, they don't want him moving around a lot. He's feeling better though and now thanks to the balloons everyone is asking if its his birthday which is cheering him up I think.

Very sweet, shame about the balloons but I bet he still appreciates it

Very nice bear and balloons

Turned off my phone for 30 min and i felt a sense of peace come over me for awhile. Turnd it all the way off. Gonna start doing that for longer and longer.

I've taken Prazosin. I had to stop cause it was causing me to faint . I don't know if it helped my nightmares .... I still had them

Not sure if i should have but i took a haldol. Haldol helps calm my anger/irritability and im hearing voices. So i thought it was the right thing to do.

Ive always wondered if i had anger problems

Ever since ive had my major psychotic breakdown 4 years ago ive never been the same. I always tell people that. Ive been an angrier, more depressed, sensitive person. Idk what happened. Even my interests did a 180°.

Its crazy.

Mine was more like 6-7 years ago now but its put a huge dent in my life, the anger I could treat with abilify, the sensitivity doesn't go away though and yes my interests are totally different which is why I'm changing careers now. I'm not sure about depression I think its negative symptoms but by any name it sucks.

Tomorrow is my last day at work....I changed my title back to the default away from Mad Scientist in honor of that....

Ive always been depressed since i hit puberty. Thats stayed the same. But i never had anger issues before psychosis. And i was a very artistic person before. I wanted to goto college for filmmaking. I used to draw and paint and stuff. Im trying to get back into that this past year.

I just wish i was who i used to be in every way before psychosis. I really wish i was.

The bf knew me back in high school. He says ive changed too. I mean everyone has in the past 10 years from high school. But you wont see much that have changed as much as i have. Im talking about from my high school.

Anyway, the haldol helped a lot. It calmed me down.

I still paint but its interesting my whole color pallette changed to dark blues and blacks while I was psychotic---it went to highly detailed on risperidone and went back to normal on abilify. The longer I've been stable the more I like some of the things I used to like, like alternative music instead or at least in addition to EDM. There is actually an artist who takes things like APs and street drugs and then paints under the influence.

I've changed a lot since high school too...I was an ultra nerd...super smart, doing everything with ease but super shy/quiet back then too. Now I have more friends etc. I'm happier tbh, back then I was a bit of a perfectionist now I'm more laid back.

Hey guys, at my college. Had a major breakdown at home earlier because I was scared to death to come. I left and got halfway here then went back home then came back because I don't want to miss any classes. Class doesn't start till 6.

I hope he feels better soon! My mom was in the hospital for the same thing a month or two ago.

Glad it worked for you

Thanks FR. How are you feeling now?

Since all this stuff started happening in late 2015, followed by psychotic symptoms in 2016, I know things have not been the same since for me either....They're kinda getting better in some ways, but even now I am having up and down stuff. I hope this year will mark an improvement and I can start school again. I really really hope for this.

Was it a panic attack?

I hope so too. I have a friend with sza who used to be on this site, she's currently in med school and the school almost seems to be keeping her stable. Few more years we'll have a pdoc who was one of us.

yes, it's because of something going on that I don't want to leave the house. my therapist thinks it's paranoia but I know what I know