[BasketCaseMom]

I am 29 and a paranoid schizophrenic. I am worried that my 5 year old son with Asperger's syndrome will be taken away from me, if the school district ever find out I am mentally ill.

Is this part of my abnormal paranoia or can this really happen? I live in the US, NY to be exact. I know kids get put into foster homes for all sorts of reasons, but I am really scared of losing him. I could not bear this if it happened and I know he would be devestated, He simply would not understand, and be so scared.

Hopefully someone can put my mind at ease. I have to hide my illness from everyone all the time. It's hard, I am so alone.

[spiritual_emergency]

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Munkee: Is this part of my abnormal paranoia or can this really happen?

Only you could know just how intense your fear may be but overall, I wouldn't say this is paranoid thinking. After all, there is a lot of misperception and bias out there about mental illnesses and the people living with them. You're likely aware of this and also aware that schools often possess a certain degree of authority. If anything, I think you're wise to examine your fear and come up with some strategies to counteract it.

A good place to begin is to ask yourself, "Do you think you are a good and caring parent?" This allows you to test your own confidence levels. Truth is, you could be the world's best parent but if you don't believe that you are, your self-doubt could be misinterpreted by those around you. Take the time to recognize where and how you are a good parent to your son. Also pay attention to any self doubts that come up. This allows you the opportunity to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and take action now to correct or modify any behaviors on your part. If you feel it would be beneficial, there are numerous books, websites, courses, etc. that can help people to improve or enhance their parenting skills.

Naturally, in your case you have some extra challenges: your son has a diagnosis of Aspergers and you have one of schizophrenia. Where you're at in your recovery is likely going to have an impact on him, so it's to your benefit to develop a strong recovery program for yourself. It stands to reason that the healthier you are, the more capable you'll be of caring for your son. Here's one link I came across as devoted to the subject of mental illness and parenting: Parents With Mental Illness.

I would encourage you to search out more articles on the net as related to schizophrenia and parenting. Do be aware, you may read some material that is negative. This may sadden or depress you, but hopefully, only temporarily. The important thing is this research will allow you to educate and inform yourself. It will help you better understand and identify where your strengths and weaknesses may be. Rather than allow this to define or limit your options, use this information to challenge yourself to become the best that you can be.

You should also be aware that there are many people out there who have grappled with various forms of psychosis and have also gone on to create rewarding lives for themselves that includes work, marriage and parenting. We don't hear enough about those people, but I assure you, they're out there. Although unrelated to this specific topic, here's a link to some examples: Voices of Recovery. I am one of those voices, and yes, I am a parent.

I suspect one area where you may be particularly vulnerable is if you should suffer any form of relapse. It will be to your benefit to develop a plan now for what you can do to ensure your son's well-being in such an event. Spouses, friends and family are likely the first choice of alternate caregivers so I suggest you consider who in your social circle would be most capable of caring for your son if for some reason, you're temporarily unable to do so. Bear in mind that accidents and illness happen to other mothers too -- moms get cancer, moms get in car accidents, moms have extensive surgeries or illnesses that may prevent them from caring for their children the way they might want to. Provided their children are in safe and capable hands while they are temporarily laid up is not cause for placing their children into foster care.

It will also be to your benefit to become as informed about Aspergers Syndrome and its treatment as possible. The more informed you are, the more you'll not only be able to impact your son in a positive manner but also reassure school authorities that you are capable of caring for a child who may be considered handicapped or gifted, depending on the perspective that is applied. The same can be said about individuals who have an intimate understanding of schizophrenia. This may well be a gift that can better help you identify and empathize with your son's unique qualities and challenges.

Best to you and your son.

[BasketCaseMom]

Thank you so much for all the information. Yes, so aspects are scary, but also it's reassuring to find that other parents are out there as well.

I have talked to my husband and we will draw up a family care contract. This way if I go off the deep end, there will be people in place to give temporary care to our son. He (husband) is of course listed first, followed by my mother etc...down the line.

Hopefully that will help if the need ever arrises to prove who can care for him in a competant manner.