Roll Call 125

Hey guys. Worked and took a nap. Now I’m enjoying my afternoon coffee.
I have to be up late tonight because my daughter isn’t getting back from her concert until 11. She should be fun to get up tomorrow.
I have to call in my meds. I’ve been putting off paying for them. Like it’s going to change by waiting a couple days lol.
Nothing going on. Might work on hanging some of my clothes later. Right now they are laying on my chair.
What’s everyone up to?

Me too. Also avoid crowds of men.

Surprisingly men don't bother me. I feel uncomfortable with white men with long black hair.

I just want to eat all.the.food. I ate 1/2 a bag of cherries and now I’m eyeing the potato salad. I hate days like this. I get bored and eat like a horse.

I'm eating mushroom soup

Buy shroom soup. Mushrooms are the creators and controllers of our environment. They know things.

They say "Eat meee"

Oh god I have to work in 15 minutes, again

I'm risperidoned

I thought I saw a bird fly close by right past me today. While inside a building. I’m not sure if I was hallucinating it or if the bird was actually outside the window but I wasn’t paying attention enough...

Trying unsuccessfully to get ahold of my guy. I’m feinding.

Feeling MUCH less stress.

So quiet here.

I feel depressed. Wrong. Opposite how I felt earlier. I just want to go to sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow.

I hate being so up and down. I’ve been so good lately.

I'm just laying in the laundry room I feel sick and exhausted

Idk if it's a Concerta crash or something or if I'm smoking and drinking too much coke from stress

Hillary Duff is on "who do you think you are" on TLC.

My heart is beating normal though

My boss after lunch was upset about something. I praised a worker to him and he just sighed and told me what has to be done. Maybe it's the stress from all the work that has to be done, and that B can't be there because of his alcoholism. B is one of the best workers when he's sober, but those days were getting thinner and thinner.

So that house that I sprayed Friday... After two coats of paint she wants to change the color from a blue to a more greyish blue. I liked the bluer blue more. It looked awesome. Maybe that's why my boss was sad, because its going to take me and T two more days to put two coats up with this different color. I'll take a picture and show you tomorrow what the before and after looks like!

I got 5 hours of sleep last night. Surprisingly I felt okay this morning! Hopefully I get more sleep tonight... I have to wake up early and pickup a coworker and take him to work.

I got extra gabapentin to help me sleep. I'm building a tolerance to it rapidly. This stuff is useless with how fast I build a tolerance to it.

Feeling better or something. Idk what happened.

@ day tripper

How much gabapentin do you take? I take 1200mg a night at one point was taking 2400mg overall.

Hey all...

I'm going to take a really cold shower when I get home.

I wish I had a sauna.

How's Newtus

I take 900mgs a night. 1200 if Im having trouble.

Bf is coming over Wednesday. It just happened he was off every other day starting last Thursday. Im gonna be home alone 5 days this week tho.

Im gonna have a beer

Hi newtus. Why did you start drinking again? Do you plan to quit again?

I don't believe in free will

I think that's why I have so many problems with caring about whether or not about a factor that someone did something wrong.

For example, I don't blame certain things like a person with brain injury from sports hitting someone with his car and driving away.

It could be because of getting an hour less sleep that night, having a fight with his girlfriend that morning or having an extra beer than he should have because of problems the day before, putting off his judgement.

But people blame the brain injury. I don't.

That's why I don't care about politics and basically life.

I try to care about being in a band but I don't have the motivation to be with people that smoke weed and have a big ego. They pretend they are chill when they are not. (Eveb though I have no problem with that - It seems like the person that I snoked weed with before told me there was free will and I said there wasn't. He was basically an alt-right judgemental asshole. But I liked him for "seeming" smart and talking a lot). In the end, I think they are judgemental over something that we can't control and are oblivious to the actual existence of the universe and aren't in tune to anything. But enough to say that, so am I because of this believe of having no free will. I can seem like I do but I really don't.

Ugh. So tired. Waiting for my daughter at the school. I’ll be lucky to get in bed by 12:30. I’m going to be miserable tomorrow and so is she.
Had a good enough day. Didn’t do anything but work, cook, eat.