Roll Call 126!

They’ve said before that they really like your voice.....maybe it’s not exactly what you want but objectively speaking I think it’s good. Sometimes it difficult to judge our own abilities....

Yeah....and I'm rather quite brutal on myself and my abilities. It's like I am confident in my computer skills but I still have a long way to go with singing...

How did you become confident in your computer skills, was it self realization or did others tell you you were good repeatedly?

It was a mix. But I have been doing stuff and working with computers since I was 5 years old...so almost 24 years. I know them like the back of my hand. The environment I was in at the college working as a student assistant helped me hone in and believe in myself.

Im calling my doctor today. My physician.

Morning

Ugh got so much to do today. I really dont feel up to it. I slept like a baby. Didnt wake up once in the middle of the night.

Well I’m going to let you in on a secret....there are a lot of people like me who don’t sing at all because we suck that bad....I can’t even conceptualize what you guys do to get it away from talking with a higher pitch and more blurred words....if you can sing at all I think you’re already at a 90% level.

Agree, I can’t even sing Do Re Mi right

Trying to get over my anxiety about leaving the house. I don't know why but it has come back the past 3 months. I plan stuff to do and places I want to go. But when it comes time I get too anxious and tell myself I'll go another day. It's not that I CAN'T leave my apartment, it's just it's very difficult to and a lot of the time the anxiety stops me from doing things I want and need to do. I'm working on this CBT book. I'm starting with sitting outside my apartment for 5-10 minutes everyday and hopefully will be able to build up and get used to it to the point where it becomes easy.

I'm sleeping good again, kinda too much now but at least I'm actually sleeping.

How is everyone?

For me the less I go out the harder it is to go out....I usually just push through it, if you allow yourself to stay home it seems to get worse, at least for me.

Im honestly really exhausted today

Thanks guys. I started out not being able to sing at all. Vocals were all over the place 10 years ago. I kind of brute forced it and did it cause I liked it. Over the years things got better...just need to believe in myself now.

So bored.....I reached the end of woebot content, that’s disappointing....no more good advice, it seems like there should be more.

I dont think im gonna exercise this morning.

If i do exercise ill do it later in the day but idk

If you do it outside it will be much hotter later, makes a difference....

With the way ive been feeling past few weeks i dont have faith in being able to get a job right now.

Sometimes getting out of the house through working actually corrects some things like anxiety etc, if you’re talking about the medical stuff that may be easy to correct with a trip to the dr. You may finally get metformin....

A gallery is opening near me and they have an ad for submitting works. I'm going to grind out some paintings this week.

Effexor has been helping to dry up my voices and it seems to help me drive and get out and about.

I think I'm going to start by painting state symbols. I want to make art that will sell.

it's my day off
maybe I'll go swim in the lake later
I see my therapist at 2. I have lots to tell him about my new job

I'm struggling w obsessive thoughts today

Wow.

I called to reschedule my psychdoc appt. The lady said they dont have another appt til august. I literally wasnt on the phone with her for 5 min and i said “well ill keep todays appt” and shes like “i already canceled it sorry. But you can come in for standby”.

Wow

It wasnt even like 3 min i was on the phone with her. Stupid bytch.

Whatever passion you have with art whatever medium you using do it with that creative spark.

I never try to force my work personally. Unless it was for college then I did a lot of “had to” not a lot of “want to”.

I am sure you have some pieces already that your not quite sure of but I bet they would sell.

Wow...that is so wrong.....are you sure you want to stay with this clinic instead of moving farther away?

This morning was so boring they gave us busy work because the systems aren’t working. Might be working just as I get back from lunch. Maybe they won’t and then I can go home lol.

I would ask for your pdoc directly and make a complaint about her at least that’s what I would do, but it’s up to you of course.

I once phoned in to change an appointment around for addictions counsellor well she said she cancelled it so I phoned back and someone else answered the phone. Turns out it was her supervisor so I made the complaint about it and then they wanted it in writing and reinstated my appointment. I don’t see her working there anymore.

Now that my peer worker is quitting, im gonna seriously consider going to another county where apartments are cheaper and ill goto another clinic.

I AM SO GOD DAMN SICK OF THIS PLACE.

6 effing years here and they are worthless peices of shyt.

God. This makes me blood boil so bad.