Roll Call 127

Hahahaha

I thought it was happy wife happy life?

My friend and I had a nice visit. We went to an art museum. But now I feel really alone and lost. Thank God for music. I wish I had more Ramones and Nirvana on my phone. (I could use youtube but then I couldn't multitask.)

Who’s ready for med time!!!??

I feel like im in a hospital

I took my evening meds and I’ll take my night meds in a while before bed.

I was talking to the laundry woman about neuro plasticity and the brain and past lives, déjà vu and bad and good people.

I want to get off disability and do something that will make me billions. Money is nothing but I think chasing the dollar is something good.

I can't live like my coworkers and friends. They are lazy and talk ****.

I don't want to be lazy and talk ****. I need to be surrounded by great minds that can change the world.

Aliens are watching me as an experiment.

Im overthinking a lot today....like everyday...

I made my friend mad at me.

I really cant stand to be alone. I really hate it. It makes me want to .

Idk what to do anymore. Ive tried friendship apps, reaching out to people (no one is ever available), ive tried hanging out at coffee shops, grocery stores, the library. Ive tried church, and social functions.

Nothing is working.

I think theres something wrong with me and im desperate.

This is just really depressing.

I fckin hate myself

I used to love it but now it feels weird. Hanging out in PC chat helps me. Talking to people on skype video helps more.

No screwwww it I can't give into propaganda controlling me and everyone

Where do we go from here? Where will humanity go?

Idk..

This post is to justify my previous post ignore. I'm just so tired and environment is stressing me. I knew this would happen. But I can't suffer in depression anymore..

I’m again seeing bugs lots of them mummifying me and I am terrified. I was told by a professional today that only drug induced psychosis is possible but not stress induced psychosis. I told them thank you for insulting everyone who suffers from psychosis who isn’t drug induced. Because I appear “normal” because I am terrified of bugs is all in my mind they said. I said do you say that a lot or do you have foot in mouth disease?

This other professional gave me T3s and a tramacet prescription one I can’t take Tylenol two I don’t have 30$ to fork out for 20 pills. For my back pain why on earth do they give this sh.t out if they know you cannot take it or pay for it? They were like oh well it’s cheaper then T3s and I said do you know what or how much roughly it is? They said it’s cheap. I said is it covered they said call a pharmacy and find out. So I called my pharmacy and it’s not covered.

I didn’t want T3s, toradol makes me hallucinate, and naproxen makes me vomit. I can only ever take is Advil or robax with Advil and a muscle relaxer.

Ah the joys of professionals.

Anyways on a better note it says it’s 21C/70F in my room outside it’s 89.6F/32C.

I took my meds right after I finished dinner and fell asleep on the couch about two hours later which is partly my sleep schedule and partly meds lol.

Okay so I am going to do maintenance on my wife’s bicycle. Time to start using it to go to counseling and doctor’s appointments. I have cut out a fair amount of junk food, and things like energy drinks. Yet I am seeing NO changes in my weight. I hate olanzapine.

I'm feeling so much better. Less stress because work is over.

Now I can do innovative things..

I WANT MUCH INNOVATION

Why is everyone sleeping.. (jk)

I hear voices continually now. They are loud and clear. I was trying to find treatments for my new man who has hemiplegia from a stroke. There is nothing out there he does not know about, I believe. I need to sleep and take my medication. I hope everybody has a good day!

Stupid olanzapine.

Good morning. Made it until 4:30. Slept okay when I did.
Grocery shopping today. Oh joy. I need to go though. Having the kids home all day tears through the food.
Other than that I have nothing going on. My husband is working with a friend and the kids are going off. It’ll just be me and the dogs. Thank god I have them for company.
Emotionally I’m feeling better.

Going to work on teaching my big dog “speak” and “quiet”. He barks incessantly when he wants me, when he plays, when someone walks by, when the cat makes noise...just all the time.
I was reading that the easiest way to teach “quiet” is to first teach “speak” on command.
He’s like the perfect dog except his constant barking.

Morning,

Slept in until 11am today. Must have needed it I guess.

Been to shops & I am just waiting now. Will be watching the final of the men’s tennis at Wimbledon before switching over the the final of the World Cup when it comes on.

Pretty much my plan for the day.

Hope everyone has a good Sunday.

I'm not sure if I had a panic attack this morning? I've never had one before. Basically I woke up and I couldn't breathe properly and I was panting really fast also I felt very dizzy and nearly fell down the stairs.

I slept most of the day. Boy, it is hot and humid here. The voices are now off and on but loud and clear. I believe, I was a bit psychotic last night and started hearing voices suddenly. The voices are just a running commentary between a man and a woman. I can live with it for now. I know they are voices because they talk about me only and talk in English. I will be ok. I just need to rest more and enjoy life. I am taking my medication which helps tremendously. I hope everybody is going to be ok.

Could be. Was your heart beating fast too?

Yes very fast

Ah boy. I have the wedding renewal bug. I’m looking at wedding dresses.
My wedding I was 6 months pregnant and big as a house.