Roll Call 139

Desoxyn · Nov 20, 2018, 07:17 PM

Sister is sleeping meh

Desoxyn · Nov 20, 2018, 07:18 PM

American thanks giving?? Canadian thanks giving was ages ago lol

07:52 PM

So the psychologist and I hashed it out in a good way. It went very well, and everything I throw at him he has something to say about it, regardless of what it is. So he makes me further reflect on my issues. I asked him for another book suggestion and he gave me it. I plan on reading it when it comes in the mail. I already ordered it. I told him our next appointment should be in January though. I can't spend extra money during the dry season of painting. This is the first psychologist I've had that I feel we're on the same page.

Angelique67 · Nov 20, 2018, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks Slumber Kitty and FR

I haven't been going outside much and there's not a lot of sunlight due to the season. It's grey and rainy most days.

I feel intense anxiety over leaving the house, idk why. I have tendencies to be that way sometimes and another reason is because lately when I'm out I hear people surrounding me and think I'm in a crowd then turn around and nobody is there. It disorients me and makes me paranoid. I probably look like a freak too especially they other day looking around everywhere thinking there were people behind me.

I feel like I'm dead. Like I'm just here physically. I haven't been depressed in a year and a half.

Possible trigger:

in July 2017 I attempted suicide and was in the hospital again for awhile. But that made more sense because I was suicidal and extremely upset. That's how I generally get when I'm very depressed. I had been doing fantastic for over a year, super happy. This though, I don't know what it is

Blue_Bird · Nov 20, 2018, 09:02 PM

Thank you Angelique

How have you been lately?

Blue_Bird · Nov 20, 2018, 09:09 PM

Just read a chapter in my textbook

Blue_Bird · Nov 20, 2018, 10:22 PM

Spent over an hour cleaning my apartment, mainly the kitchen

Blue_Bird · Nov 20, 2018, 10:38 PM

I have more energy after doing that. Showering, making dinner, playing with my cats, reading my assigned textbook chapter and cleaning make me feel proud. It's more than I've done in over a week

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 02:47 AM

Mood chart from October

Roll Call 139

And from November

Roll Call 139

I don't fill it out as often as I should but it gives a general idea

junkDNA · Nov 21, 2018, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

Gonna get a goodwill application today, I know they have a program for people on disability

good luck

side note... goodwill has been busted in the past for grossly under paying their disabled employees. just something to try to be aware of if they try it with you

junkDNA · Nov 21, 2018, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks Slumber Kitty and FR

I haven't been going outside much and there's not a lot of sunlight due to the season. It's grey and rainy most days.

I feel intense anxiety over leaving the house, idk why. I have tendencies to be that way sometimes and another reason is because lately when I'm out I hear people surrounding me and think I'm in a crowd then turn around and nobody is there. It disorients me and makes me paranoid. I probably look like a freak too especially they other day looking around everywhere thinking there were people behind me.

I feel like I'm dead. Like I'm just here physically. I haven't been depressed in a year and a half.

Possible trigger:

in July 2017 I attempted suicide and was in the hospital again for awhile. But that made more sense because I was suicidal and extremely upset. That's how I generally get when I'm very depressed. I had been doing fantastic for over a year, super happy. This though, I don't know what it is

the crowd of people noise has happened to me too. I was in the hospital at the time, in my private room. I would close my eyes and suddenly I heard a whole crowd of ppl in my room. open my eyes but no one was there. it really scared me. I'm sorry you're experiencing that

junkDNA · Nov 21, 2018, 05:46 AM

my roommate had me lie on the floor last night and she popped my back. it crunched like 50 times. felt so good

junkDNA · Nov 21, 2018, 05:51 AM

my phone background

Roll Call 139

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 07:09 AM

Good morning. Got a few hours of sleep

cogladaid · Nov 21, 2018, 07:33 AM

I haven’t been tracking my mood. I should do that. I know I’ve been down still.

Possible trigger:

I binged on Doritos yesterday and tried to make myself throw up but couldn’t so I stupidly took laxatives instead and self harmed.

I don’t think I’m well.

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cogladaid

I haven’t been tracking my mood. I should do that. I know I’ve been down still.

Possible trigger:

I binged on Doritos yesterday and tried to make myself throw up but couldn’t so I stupidly took laxatives instead and self harmed.

I don’t think I’m well.

Hope you feel better

When do you next see your doctor or therapist?

cogladaid · Nov 21, 2018, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hope you feel better

When do you next see your doctor or therapist?

December 5th. So like two weeks from now.

I should be able to hold on. Try to calm myself down and be good.

falcon09 · Nov 21, 2018, 08:37 AM

I forgot how good Klonopin is at managing my anxiety.

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 09:29 AM

I was just out of the house for about 40 minutes. I took a walk then went to the library. The fresh cold air felt good. Have an appointment with my therapist later

cogladaid · Nov 21, 2018, 09:40 AM

Well now today I feel great and lip syncing to great music and just in a groove! Haha mood swings.

falcon09 · Nov 21, 2018, 10:01 AM

There was a conflict in group yesterday, lots of panic attacks and anxiousness happened. Hope today is a bit better, last day before the long weekend.

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 01:05 PM

Anyone here?

Loial · Nov 21, 2018, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Anyone here?

I’m here. What’s up?

SlumberKitty · Nov 21, 2018, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

We’re having butternut squash soup, bacon wrapped turkey (I don’t eat it), homemade stuffing and gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, broccoli casserole, assorted breads, roasted Brussels sprouts, Oreo cookie desert, and pumpkin pie.
I think that’s everything. Sucks because I pretty much do everything by myself except the turkey.

Sounds delicious, but it sucks you have to cook it all. I've never had roasted brussel sprouts or butternut squash soup, or bacon wrapped turkey. They all sound good! Thanks for sharing! Kit.

Blue_Bird · Nov 21, 2018, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

I’m here. What’s up?

Not much. I'm in the waiting of the clinic I go to

Menu

Roll Call 139

My Support Forums