Roll Call 143

I think I’m relatively lucky.
When I had my breaks I was already at a “diminished” capacity.
I had been suffering from debilitating depression for years already.
Not feeling was a blessing for me. Before meds I felt everything so deeply. I bled.
My cognition was already down from simply not using my brain as a stay at home mom. I was already not as quick as I once was.
The only thing meds have really done to me is obliterate my sex life. More of a concern for my husband than for me.
I confess...I’ve been off meds for about 3 months. Unfortunately the sex thing has not reversed or even improved at all.
On the positive side no one has noticed I’m off meds and I’ve not had any symptoms or dips in mood. I feel exactly the same.

I asked my doctor for a med that wouldn't make me gain weight and he gave me a choice between abilify (generic wasn't available then) and Geodon. I didn't even flinch I happily told himm Geodon. $300 a month without insurance, but it can be 40 a month if you use goodrx, which is what I use. I lost all my weight becayse it's an appetite suppressant. But ever since Lithium I gained weight that I just can't shake.

Geodon didn't take away my sex drive, it didn't give me anhedonia, it didn't give me akathasia either. It's been amazing. It's the ONE drug that hasn't caused me any problems whatsoever.

I want Latuda.. Disability will pay..

My cousin is on Latuda. It seems more like a schizoaffective med. Since I have unipolar depression, it could work..

I never had a weight problem in my life and never understood how people could gain weight due to meds but then I gained 100 lbs on Invega Sustenna. Lost the entire 100lbs after coming off it. It was a great med, probably saved my life. But due to developing signs of TD I had to get off it, my doctor wanted to try clozapine but I didn't want to be on any APs.

The other med I gained on was Depakote. But after switching to Trileptal that weight came off too

Going to stay up all night watching episodes of criminal minds

I want to stay up for some reason but im tired

The seroquel kicked in while I was writing something. I felt all of my emotions suddenly go numb.

I used to feel this with risperidone. But I don't notice it anymore because I'm used to it. Used to being blind from the magic.

Time to sleep...

I've been on Latuda for a couple months now. I gotta say its quite possibly the best AP I have been on thus far. No side effects from what I can tell. And for the most part my voices and unusual beliefs have subsided. It's amazing what it is doing for me. And I've been motivated to keep up with my hygiene for the most part again. But maybe that's cause I am pushing hard to get surgery and want to prove I am well enough for it.


We're tapering me off Zyprexa and in 5 weeks I will be able to discontinue it. Good riddance to that horrible med.

I hope you're able to stay out of psychosis with being off meds for 3 months...I know I want to go off meds at points but everyone here tells me not to and I know now I need them to stay out of psychosis. But then others do it and I'm like okay then...but yeah. I hope you'll be okay.

Hey everyone. How are things going today?

I'm good. Two of my partners and my wife are here now. It's a good day spending time with them. I got my meds filled today too. I feel optimistic about my future. I feel like I am one step closer to getting where I want to in life. I am just taking it one day at a time. And surely one day I will reach my goals and aspirations. It's a good thing.

Tired, but drank some coffee to overcome that. It's so nice realizing I can stay up now for 14-16 hours a day and be okay with energy. It used to be the other way around. My life has improved soooo much.

Thanks. I’m going to go back on but I’m going to request a lesser dose. I’m supposed to be on 160mgs!
I feel good but I wake up every morning waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think I will be able to accept a low dose of latuda to get rid of that feeling. Kwim?
For the record my bestest knows I’m off meds and she checks on me every other day to make sure I’m okay. I do have someone.

This is so good to hear! I’m so happy for you. You SO needed a break.

Okay that's good! I'm on a dose of 111mg (odd dosage in more ways than one, lol). What's the max dose? 160? But glad your bestest is helping check in with you.

Thanks! Yeah its been a rough few years. I hope this good period lasts for a while now.

Yes 160 is the max. I was taking just 120 because I thought 160 was overkill.

So I think I’ve decided to go back to the shelter to volunteer. I spoke with the family and they are cool with me being out for a couple hours when they get home. I wasn’t worried about my husband or son but it will require my daughter to be home with just my son for an hour after school until my husband gets home.
With a shortened work day I have a lot of time on my hands. I need to do something. I have a strong desire to be needed.

Hey guys,

I’ve had a good day. Been watching the rugby with my friend who lives in Belgium. Managed to get set up so we were talking and the match was in sync. Scotland didn’t do so well but the second game was really good.

Not got much else planned for the evening. Probably just find more TV to watch.

Hope everyone is good!

Good morning!

Took Concerta so I'm awake instead of sleeping until 10 minutes before work..

Just finished a crossword puzzle. I don't have much experience with them but have wanted to do them for awhile. I bought a book of them several months ago but I never did any because of anxiety, not being motivated and feeling like it would take too much concentration. I'm really proud of myself for doing one

Lunch was crappy and I'm hungry again. I guess I'll eat a oatmeal bar.

I want so much to lose weight. My motivation to exercise isn't all there. I'm shy about going back to the phys ed room. But I have to.

I’ve not been feeling great the past few days. I think the drinking is really doing a number on me. Had a fast heartbeat and some shortness of breath and stuff. I don’t think it’s asthma because my peak flow is okay. I’m wondering if it might be anemia or some other deficiency. Had D to one extent or another for a week now... maybe partly to blame. I’m going to call my doctor on Monday and go see them.

I just wish I could stop drinking now. Damn referral. I have been drinking less but only because I feel physically bad.

I just want this to be over.

I’m sorry loial. I hope your referral comes in soon.

Well I had a good afternoon. We ended up getting gourmet donuts and hot chocolate instead of ice cream. It was good. Then we went to the shelter and spent a couple hours with the pups.
Omg...I need more land and some volunteers of my own so I can bring them all home. they were all young...3 under 2 months, 3 6 month olds, a 1 yr old, a 2 yr old, and the lone older one at 6. Most had applications on them...I fell in love..again. My daughter too lol. She’s trying to figure out how she can get Lucy and a pup to cohabitate in her room . It I freaking love dogs.
Here’s my donut lol

This was the pup I almost hid in my jacket