Roll Call: 146

I saw Captain Marvel opening weekend and really liked it.

I'm so tired now. Always happens after my morning meds. Need to wake myself up. I'll probably walk to the pharmacy later

My morning Geodon makes me super sleepy. I'm always unsure what to do about it and usually end up taking a nap

I was talking to a drug lord and he has aspergers. Extremely intelligent and a millionaire.

Autism seems similar to schizophrenia and I know this because ego death tripping on psychedelics is like being a baby which is complete solipsism which mimics severe full blown autism. MDMA can be the opposite of autism and shrooms made me full blown psychotic but how do I know that isn't like autism? Shrooms are a researched treatment for autism. I wonder if I was misdiagnosed and I could actually be autistic?

Tbh this is an excuse to stop my injection but how do I know? It could be possible. Risperidone is used to treat autism and Invega is like the same drug so yeah..

Also a lot of people with autism are asexual.

I should bring this up with my doctor. Because I have zero paranoia and no delusions. I have no symptoms of schizophrenia anymore. Although I understand social cues, read facial expressions and able to know peoples intentions etc but I got manipulated in the psych ward so maybe I'm not as good at reading people as I thought? I have intuition but I ignore it.

But symptoms are different. Maybe I have female autism.

I know I'm not making any sense but stimulants don't give me psychosis so that's another reason why I don't think I have schizophrenia. And negative symptoms could be because of female autism? Idk

The more I think about these things, the more they make some sort of sense. But if I were autistic, I would be EXTREMELY high functioning to the point where I wouldn't even be considered to have it as everyone is on the spectrum in some ways.

Psychiatric illnesses are just a bunch of symptoms and I don't believe 3 months of seeing my psychiatrist every day was enough time to know if I have schizophrenia? He doesn't know what's really going on in my mind.. with my step dad and such.. I get manipulated easily but so does my mom and she's social as hell.. you have to be a witch to know things.. My grandmother said I was more fun while a week late for my injection and it's not good to have a drug that decreases serotonin and dopamine so much like that.. it's wrong.

This is a reason I believe I should give not being on the injection a try.

I kinda missed out... it’s only on in late afternoon and evening now which really doesn’t work out with my drinking. No morning showings anymore...

I guess I’ll just catch it when it comes out on dvd/digital download.

I don’t think it’ll be necessary to have seen it for Avengers End Game but probably would have been nice. Oh well.

I hate getting obsessed about things.

I was obsessing over my FAFSA and trying to remember my password for that, and I tried so many times that I got locked out of my account.

Like, there's no reason for me to look at my financial aid, it's already all done, I just got so obsessed.

Really annoying ugh

Psychiatric labels don't make sense to me anymore. I don't need to be on antipsychotics anymore.

These guys asked me if they could share a message with me about Jesus when I was walking to CVS. I told them I was busy. I have my religion, I don't really need to hear any messages. Thankfully they were nice about it. Some are really pushy

That sucks.

You should try using a password manager... they are really useful plus it means you can have really secure passwords made up of stuff you wouldn’t normally remember.

It’s just the few websites I need to login from multiple places that I have memorable passwords for.

I am in no way trying to diagnose you, and it's certainly possible you have autism. However, when you ask if 3 months of your psychiatrist seeing you every single day is enough for a diagnosis, I'd have to say yes. How long were the appointments?

I don't believe psychosis is a symptom of autism. Is it possible you are both autistic and schizophrenic? And I think giving the injection a try is worth it. I have a friend on Invega, and it has helped him a lot.

Its raining
Its nice
Im burning incense

I've heard the neg symptoms of schizophrenia are very similar to symptoms of autism

Thanks. This makes a lot of sense.

But the main thing I'm trying to point out is that I shouldn't be on an injection just because "There's no cure for schizophrenia. You must be medicated for the rest of your life". I just don't buy that. I'm my own person and don't want to be defined by a name for a bunch of symptoms or a name for a certain group of symptoms that are more likely categorized with a certain label.

If I want to stop the injection and my therapist is afraid because I have schizophrenia, that's not a good enough reason for me.

I'm realizing and starting to make enough sense in my mind, piecing everything together. I think the world is just too stupid. My IQ must be high if it's tested in some odd way... But I'm not narcissistic and say I could be stupid so people aren't jealous of me. People are always jealous of me. **** my step dad he really ****ed me up.

I feel like I'm going to be banned from this forum because I feel completely out of control and off the rails. I'm sick of people trying to control me. I hate society and the stupidity of it. I want to die.

Sorry to hear about your stepdad.

I'll admit that I don't have a schizophrenia diagnosis, but I do have depression. I have been taking psychiatric medication constantly since I was 14 (that's 22 years now). I plan to continue taking it for the rest of my life, because I don't think there is a cure for major depressive disorder either. The medication helps me manage my symptoms so that I can live on my own and hold down a job. Without medication, I would be living with my parents (possibly on disability if I could get it). Also, I would be miserable for the rest of my life. To me, the medication is very much worth it. That said, I understand that some anti-psychotics have strong negative side effects, so I understand why you don't want to experience those.

I'm taking a break from this forum for a while. I'll be back when I come back from hell.

Sorry your having a rough time....

come back when you’re ready.

Sorry desoxyn please come back sometime

Im supposed to get my replacement package of vitamins today.

Lets see if it even comes!

Went to Ulta...
Got The Body Shop Cactus Blossom body butter, and 2 random sugar/shea body scrubs for me and a bottle of Escada Muani Blossom perfume for my daughter for Easter.
Cactus Blossom smells so good. So I came home and ordered 2 shower gels, a body scrub, and a body yogurt in that scent.
I’m 3 loads into a 5 load laundry day. I don’t know why I always put it off.
I have 2 hours to myself...what to do what to do.

Take care.

My voices are bugging me today...

I can hear them even when I’m doing stuff which isn’t usual. Just want them to shut up.

@Loial I hope those voices shut up. Sorry they're bugging you today.