Roll Call 157

Laundry is done!

Have a phone interview with the apartment complex I've been trying to get into

Really hope this means they have an opening or will soon, I'd love to get out of the place I currently am.

Hope the phone interview goes well @Blue_Bird HUGS Kit

Kind of depressed today. Not suicidal. Just down. Would be a great day to stay home and cuddle up in a blanket and watch movies all day. Instead I'm at work. Blah. We have communication training this afternoon. Not sure what that entails. I'm hoping its not like role playing and stuff. That would be horrible...

My parents are leaving for two days tomorrow. I'm trying to not think about it. I usually don't do as well when they aren't around. Might go to Disneyland on Friday though. Either that or the hospital if I'm not doing well enough.

Aim for Disney, it might be better than meds as far as restoring happiness.

True that. =) Besides I can go to the hospital any old time, whereas my pass on Disneyland is about to go into blackout dates.


You know you're depressed though when it's like, Disneyland or hospital, and both seem attractive!

"Instead, the team suggests that haloperidol downsizes synapses, the junctions through which neurons communicate. Meyer-Lindenberg speculates that the change is mediated by the protein BDNF, which is involved in synapse growth and diminishes in response to antipsychotic treatments in mice."

Antipsychotics shrink the brain and then when you don't take them, the brain goes back to normal size. So Inflammation might have something to do with it.

Edit: Which could mean that it's an autoimmune disease..

Interestingly fish oil is anti inflammatory.......

Think I'm getting sick. Sneezing/coughing and freezing cold

I feel mentally stable and have insight to risk

I want to sleep. I should have bought caffeine pills. But I guess I'll make a pot of coffee

I keep wanting to go back to hospital, im not sure why

You must’ve gone to a better hospital than me....once I was out it was like never again.

Drowsiness is one of the signs of phenibut overdose....are you taking more or just legit sleepy?

I went to a horrible hospital as a teenager, abusive staff, poorly funded, shytty doctors.

The one my pdoc sends me to is quite nice (for a hospital). You have menus for food, the doctors are nice, the nurses are well trained. I think I want to go back just because I feel like my psychosis is out of control.

You don’t really sound psychotic right now.....

I'm doing quite well today actually. Just recently I've been having some thought broadcasting and hearing voices.

I think for me I preferred my parents keep an eye on me while psychotic....going it alone yeah it’s dangerous imo....maybe you could visit your grandparents when this happens ?

Got very paranoid all of a sudden

Made more Christmas cookies just now!

Those look good ... if I was over there they’d probably magically disappear ...

All gone.

I took an extra 1g yesterday cuz I'm afraid of feeling no empathy.. I suppose that's why I have good REM sleep. I don't ever take enough to overdose.

Me never overdose on anythings. Except the klonopins.. That was a disinhibited accidental attempted suicide..