Roll Call 166!

What kind of things do you hide?

Even though I agree that you’re an empath, I don’t think it has anything to do with intuition. I think intuition is about recognizing patterns that you have witnessed in the past so that you can predict the future. I could be wrong though.

I’m hypo so forgive me if I’m a bit rambling. Mind is just racing.

Just watched a webinar on Mental Health in the Workplace by one of our insurance partners. I sent the link also to the CFO who said she was interested but then she missed it. Usually they replay it on their website, but I took copious notes so I sent her the notes. Hopefully it is useful. At least it is a conversation about mental health and illness in the workplace.

Good uncatchable prey I mean!*

For example, yesterday I was walking down from the hike and I looked at the people coming down behind me... I said "My mom is going to look behind her like I did" and then I thought to myself, "Since I think she will, she won't - But maybe this will be the first time that I'm right (The THOUGHT is always there that it's 99.9% unlikely - Although the FEELING is that it's 99.9% likely) - She didn't look.. And then she looked at the waterfall and THEN looked up at everyone.

Things like this happen multiple times a day - And even thought they're nonsense, it feels like - What if I'm right for once? Am I then solipsistic and I'm God?

That's why I have no patience for technology, frustrated, things dropping on the floor, untangling wires, etc

And things don't surprise me

THINGS DON'T SURPRISE ME and when I'm surprised, I feel guilty that it happened because I feel like I caused it - And I don't want to react to it because people expect me to react.

I don't react when people expect me to react - Such as emotions.

Interesting that it happens to you a few times a day. It’s not that often to me. That’s why when it happens I get bamboozled.

I'm not spontaneous either because it's uncomfortable, I'm afraid of making a mistake - I have to plan in my head what I want to say multiple times before I speak.

happy birthday BB!!

Didn't sleep until 7am, woke up at noon. I might call my doctor tomorrow and see him but idk if it's too soon or if he can even do anything.

I’m too spontaneous that I need to learn to make plans before taking an action.

It's not a bad thing I don't think. I wish I was like that. I think most people are like that. I'm a perfectionist.

Both bf and I are planners.....

I wish I was like you. We both just need a balance, too much of anything isn’t good.

One of my exes was totally spontaneous.....my T was like that’ll be good for you lol....to an extent it was making me nuts though.

I tend to be more of a planner. I'm not very spontaneous.

Both my mom and sister are spontaneous as hell. They'll talk, then get distracted and then immediately go back to what they were saying - Or even worse, something else! Lol..

Yet I think that's why I like phenibut because it allows me to be like that. I've taken it every day for a year but it's starting to lose it's effect and more makes me feel drained - Like I'm not supposed to be so social - My brain is like "What are you doing? This isn't you!" and my brain is starting to reject the drug.

Gonna spend an hour organizing my notes on what productive things to do today - Then I'll try to stop listening to music and do them.

I'm not spontaneous at all. I plan every detail of my days usually and go over it in my head a million times beforehand

Yeah you can balance out each other as long as the communication is good and both parties try to understand and appreciate each other’s point of view. I’m more fun irl than in online/text. Because texting forces me to communicate my thoughts, there’s no other way to bond with people, and I struggle to turn my thoughts into words. But irl I can just take people on a new adventure with me. That is when I’m feeling like socializing though. Most of the time I prefer to be left alone. But when I socialize I’ll go all in.

I wish I could do that. I have a hard time opening up in real life. I don't socialize well. My parents keep telling me, how are you going to meet a husband? You never go out....

I don’t really open up. I make them open up to me first. Most people like to talk about themselves and like to be taken care of, so I focus on listening to their story while giving them some good experiences. “What kind of food do you like? Have you tried this restaurant?”, “How was your day at work? Ah sorry it was stressful, hey let’s go to the Karaoke that’ll probably cheer you up a bit”, “Oh you want to go shopping? Let me help picking up clothes for you”, “You feel overwhelmed? I know this swimming pool that barely has people in it and it has a good view, we can talk there while relaxing at the same time”. I do things like that (won’t do things that I personally don’t like though, so I suggest things that I know I would enjoy as well). Some people say they hate small talks but I think small talks is like a door for the real conversation. We don’t come up to people we just meet and ask them about their childhood traumas or political views for example. It’s just not realistic. Once I become friends with people for a while though, when I open up it’s just natural.

Do y'all think I should see my doctor tomorrow.

I've been on the Fanapt for 9 days which isn't near enough time for the med to work, but I'm just so miserable and I'm worried I'll do something to hurt myself.

Yes......

If it makes you want to hurt yourself then yes. Sorry it makes you feel like that