Roll Call 166!

Funny you asked that because I just took some. I'll see if it helps when it kicks in in 90 minutes - I'll see if phenibut is at least part of the problem.

The injection will kick in and olanzepine. I'm not sure which is the problem but I'll see in 90 minutes..

Good luck with it....

I'm getting so bad with cleaning again. I have barely cleaned anything for like a month now. I don't know how to get myself motivated to do it. I just let it go then it gets overwhelming

That's how I am too but luckily my Mom helps me. She said when she isn't able to do it anymore I'll have to hire someone to help me.

It's almost time to go home. That's good because I still feel unwell even after my retail therapy. I want to lay down. But sometimes sleeping too much is bad for me too.

I really don’t clean much at all....I mean unless there is visible dust then there’s no need....

As they always ask, do you have a plan? I've had those thoughts all my life, but less so now. My faith is getting stronger again and it helps.

No I don't have a plan, but I still struggle with the urges sometimes.

My faith is getting stronger too actually and it's helping I pray the rosary and talk to God and it helps me feel better

I'm very sorry to hear, I am sending love and prayers.

I feel pretty good today. Staying up all night since I have to be up early for my haircut appointment. I'm happy. Things are good in my life. I'm thankful. That's what I focus on, everything I have to be thankful for.

That's wonderful.

Had a nice subway for dinner.....

I like tuna subs, Italian subs, and meatball subs from them

I listened to lectures on the New Testament today by one of my favorite professors. It's a shame he doesn't have more lectures on the great courses because he's a gem. I'm downloading more lectures right now from bit torrent. I think I might buy a series on romanticism. In fact i will. =) Im also getting Neil Gaimon's Masterclass on writing so i can listen while i work. Its time i step up my game. I have o many books to read this weekend.

Enjoying playing guitar. Might play piano soon later.

I had to induce mania with chemicals.

I love music

I felt happy and then sad then happy and now really really sad. But it's ok.

I noticed that I get dysphoric depression and euphoric depression.

I wish my mom stuck to teaching me piano. I love piano I'm starting to realize. And I'm like an autistic savant with music - I can play by ear. I'm gifted in music she says. Same with my dad. That's why he gave me his 10 thousand dollar guitar.

My mom was a piano teacher. And I can't play piano. It's not too late right? I just regret so much and keep thinking about the past. I was really dealt a ****** card. I just want to play music at least. But I accomplished nothing in life - Yet want to end it sometimes - Known for nothing and it's just another tragedy for my mom. She knows what she's doing. I don't blame her for anything - She's the best mother in the world. But I feel like I came second to her relationships and her obsessive compulsive cleaning.

All of a sudden my anhedonia is gone and I feel emotions. I'm not sure why.

I guess this was just the way it was meant to be.

Morning! Made a new Roll Call

https://psychcentralforums.com/schiz...ml#post6855926