Roll Call 169!!

Gorgeous!

You're a nice person, you're a good writer (I can tell just by the way you write your posts on PC), you're an artist which means you are creative, you are intelligent, you are wise beyond your years, you care about your family, look how you were talking about your Dad and making sure you stay in contact with him, you CARE about him, you're kind, you like to have fun like with videogames, you like to try new things like with that VR thing, you encourage others, you're open about your mental health, I would say you are curious, you are special to our group here on PC

Boss expected the other senior guy to use the boom lift, it's a mechanical lift on wheels. They wanted the 40 ft lift but they only had a 60-foot lift, and it's way too big for this place and difficult to move around. So the other senior guy is afraid to use it. This job site is going to take forever to get done if we keep on moving like this. On the plus side, we found out that it's okay to just spray and not back roll, at least with the panels. I don't know how we could try that with the siding though.

I received by birthday card from my mom. That was really nice of her. I think she wrote what she did because she feels like I'm hard on myself, considering what type of stuff I write. I don't know, my last short story was very dark, but the ending wasn't. I'm very proud of how that story turned out. It was heavily influenced by the bible, paradise lost, and Faust, little greek mythology, the self-concepts, and a very romantic piece (The romantic period not lovey-dovey.)

I installed Grammarly Pro into my browser and It's very helpful. It's interesting to see how it thinks I write. It gives me ratings and style emojis.

Thank you so much

I never watch TikTok and I watched it and am in a decent mood now.

Just got out of PHP.

Long day, saw my therapist and the doctor.

He said if I don't respond to clozaril monotherapy he'll add abilify to it

Doing better today. Trying to build habits and stuff, organize my notes.

I'll try to wake up and get everything out of the way every day. Still feel useless though.

I still feel sad.

On Monday I'm gonna see about getting a part time job again. I can make an extra 1072 CAD a month just working 2-3 days a week.

I should probably watch the news for once and see what's going on.

Cool I'm actually excited to work again

Ok covid is still bad

But my mom and sister are working

I'll see about a job that minimizes contact

I got contacted by a semi popular/popular app today to be a mental health explorer for their program. It’s not a paid thing but I get free access to the app instead of paying and some other things. It’s a mindfulness/AI/cbt app.

I'm gonna go for a walk today cuz it's sunny out. I'll be listening to that podcast about that famous guy for addiction.

Maybe I'll stop using CRACK...

Does anyone know if excessive vitamin D can cause tiredness? I have been insanely tired lately, especially while doing homework. I don't know why -- as I have been sleeping well and stuff.

Why would you take excessive amounts? 1000iu is the normal.....

took my evening meds

Reminds me to take a fish oil and 1000mg of vitamin C. I've been taking vitamin D 1000iu for years now - + the SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamp.

I went to my moms work and reminded her to take her beta blocker cuz she seemed stressed out from work.

I told her that I was gonna go for a hike in the trails but she didn't want me go go alone (Because bears come out during this time) so I just walked to the pharmacy and back.

I listened to the podcast - Almost finished listening to it.

Not sure what to do. I feel quite content right now.

Feeling a bit of dissociation compared to when I started writing this post.

I ate too much ugh

1-2 times a year I put on sunglasses for 1-2 hours inside cuz scared and feel weird

It’s actually handy to do if you can’t sleep

It was the only one I had lying around the house, but it was 5000 IU. Which I think is excessive. So I stopped taking it until I can get one with a reasonable dosage.

Yeah I wouldn’t take more than 2000 of D...one of the GI docs was taking that, but 1000 is what my pcp recommended.....

I am wondering if I should postpone graduate school. I think I can graduate in 2022. I just don't feel like I can pass everything this year. It would have to be 2022 because that's when the courses from this year are offered again. I don't think it would be so bad. This year has been really hard on me. I know I said I was all in the other day, but I don't know if that's so true.

I don’t think you should postpone unless your illness is out of control, you’re kind hush hush about what’s going on so I don’t want to assume...but question is would it actually be easier in two years or are you postponing just to temporarily escape?

I don't necessarily think my illness is out of control... I just feel a lot of anxiety lately. I don't know, maybe I should just take a prescribed Xanax or something. I just don't know how to exist with anxiety problems. I am not having psychotic symptoms, so that is good.

If it’s anxiety then you need to continue, the best way to combat anxiety is to do the thing that scares you but in a controlled and safe way. If you bail the anxiety will get worse then you might never complete your program.