Roll Call 189

I've been in bed all day with a migraine and I want to cry it hurts so bad

So incredibly tired

I will do anything to get better. But it's sooo easy to just take something to make it better temporarily, short term.

And it is a lonely life, ice cold dark life walking no where for trillions of years.

Existential crisis

I looked at life quotes, made tea and started writing things for myself.

I feel at peace. I'm not sure if I have felt peace like this in a long time. But I must sleep..............

I remember the times that I felt peace was when sitting by the fire. I think that's what calms me more than anything.

Hey look at this lol (I Googled "Calming to stare at fire");

"When it’s cold outside, there’s nothing quite like sitting by a cozy fire. But why do we find this experience so comforting? According to the author of this study, this relaxation response to fire is actually an evolutionary adaptation. The author argues that early humans who were more prone to relaxation at a campfire would be more likely to “benefit in the social milieu via fireside interactions”, thereby giving them a survival advantage. He then goes on to experimentally demonstrate that sitting by a fire (well, in this case a video of a fire), especially if you can hear that distinctive crackling sound, causes a reduction in subjects’ blood pressure. Although this study doesn’t prove that the fire response is an evolved adaptation (it could also be cultural conditioning, for example), it does show that sitting by the fire really can help you relax. A glass of mulled wine probably wouldn’t hurt either!"

Hi friends. Christmas was pretty good. BIL mostly behaved himself. Ha. That's a new one!


Trying to make myself a hair appointment for Friday.


Overall feeling a bit depressed though.

I'm skipping one out of two vyvanse this morning cuz I took an extra yesterday. I feel incredibly unmotivated and tired. The dexedrine might help when it kicks in.

It's -30 outside today. Last night was -40. I'm going with my parents on a small drive to a frozen lake to take pictures.

I don't feel right. Last night I was good. I don't know why I always feel better before I go to sleep and wake up feeling terrible.

Feeling more depressed. IDK why exactly. I usually get this way after the holidays. It's like all the festivities and then boom, nothing.

Show us pics!

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Sorry you’re feeling down. Can you make future plans for small celebrations of some sort? A vacation, a kitty’s bday or whatever?

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Thanks SP. Kitties birthdays are both in June (like mine) funny how that worked out. I am planning to get my hair done on New Year's Eve (I have that day off of work) so that's something to look forward to.


Going to my sister's one day next month. Well two days, one night but it will probably be like less than 24 hours total because we have to drive 5 hours each way. Not really looking forward to that though.

I do have a new Lego set to put together. Am looking forward to that. Maybe I can start it on New Years. Or do a puzzle with my Dad. Hmmm. Have to brainstorm.


Kit

Pretty. Looks very "moody" I like it!

Lego sets are so fun to put together. A couple years ago I was buying them pretty frequently and putting them together. It’s very relaxing and fun when you have a cute building or whatever the design was to look at when it’s finished.

I woke up with the migraine and nausea gone. So happy it’s gone. I felt horrible yesterday. I slept a lot today.

Seeing my friend tomorrow so we can exchange Christmas gifts.

Oh christ.. I'm freezing. I'll take pics next time. I took a video of my mom throwing hot water into the air but then we went right back into my car. My dad took pictures - I'll see if he can send to me.. Mountains very nice, beautiful.

Thats the problem. it SEEMS easier but in the long run, its not

my Xmas was ok. im not a big fan of holidays bc of the expectations placed around them. but it was nice. i stayed at my moms. but i am glad to be back home. i Have to start really looking for a job now. i got my last severance check today. so got anxiety around all that.

I am doing pretty good today. Just a little anxious at work, but nothing too serious.

I had a pretty good holiday. Tried to go down on Klonopin but it doesn't really work.

Also think I just need to read physical books. Phones and computers are far too distracting for me.

I don't think "down time" exists anymore. I think phones and computers have taken away that luxury.

Unless you take some time before bed but then you have RLS and can't feel better sooner at all.

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So much snow....beautiful but unpleasant to drive in.

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I have a Kindle Paperwhite. It's nice because it's not a Kindle fire so doesn't have all those distracting apps and stuff that tablets have. So I can just focus on my reading without getting distracted. I can borrow library books from my local library with it too.

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