Roll Call 190

Chat. Converse. Whine. Dialog. Have fun!

Mad at my coworker for saying nothing when I told her my diagnosis. I told her via Teams. She could have sent a smiley or something back but she didn't. Here I was vulnerable and she just ignored me. Great.

It sounds like she isn't someone you can really lower your guard around. I'm sorry, Kit.

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Thanks, Angelique. How are you doing?

I'm okay I guess. My mother, who slips in and out of psychosis, told me yesterday that I called at just the wrong time because she was expecting a different relative to call her. There are just about no good times to call. Anyway I felt slightly liberated to hear she was hoping for someone else. She still sounds relatively well except she believes all her hallucinations.

I miss my old life, with my cat. We were alone in the world but we survived pretty well until she passed away and I lost my job.

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HUGS Angelique. I am sorry to hear about your Mom. It can be hard to not believe in the hallucinations because sometimes they feel so real. I'm sorry you are missing your cat. I'm missing my dear Esther too. HUGS Kit

I'm way talkative today.

Eating some goldfish crackers. Yum.

Thank you, Kit.

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I am good today. Just thinking about ditching my therapy session today. I know I'll have to pay regardless.

If you’re leaving they typically insist on a closing session....

I'll see if I can add Wellbutrin (An NDRI) to my meds to lift my mood. Many people on r/ADHD mention that they use it with their normal NDRA stimulant. I also want to lower the Invega Trinza injection to a medium dose - But Idk if I can do both.

I don’t feel safe inside my mind

Yeah I just don't want to have a closing session with tihs particular therapist because it seems like a waste of time. I've basically wasted a ton of money and time on therapy. I just didn't have the energy to go today.

@SP, thanks for the input. I’ll try switching her to another med next month.

This reminds me of this dish back home, gold fish steamed with tons of herbs for hours. Tastes so good with white rice and fresh chili sauce with shallots and garlic and some other local spices in it. I’ve been learning how to cook mostly because I miss food back home. I cut my finger from chopping onions a few days ago though so I’m on a break from cooking.

I want to get a part time job but this part of town has no public transportation. Not sure how I’m able to go to work if I get one. Nick can’t drive me because he works 8-5 all week, sometimes he works half day on Saturday too.

Sorry this happened. I would personally avoid talking about personal stuff with coworkers, work place can be very competitive and a genuine friendship is rare there. I’d say next time she’s being mean to you just address that particular problem she’s saying at the moment, establish your boundaries without having to be vulnerable.

I’m so excited to have eggs over easy with buttered toast tomorrow morning. Hopefully I don’t screw them up.

Going grocery shopping in the morning then have a video appointment with my therapist in the afternoon.

I feel stupid for having not gone to my therapy appointment now.

I probably freaked out my therapist. I didn't even say anything to her untli the hour was over.

My sister woke me up so I could unlock the door so she could get the family computer and bring it to the hotel that she's staying at to watch Netflix.

I guess I'll stay awake for while. I went to bed at like 7pm cuz I was too unmotivated (Wasn't tired though). I've been unmotivated all day.

Lol! This really is real.. - Cuz I Googled "Unmotivated";

"2. Let the motivation sparkling in other people flow over to you.

Another great way to recharge your motivation is simply to tap into the motivational energy and perspectives of other people.

So talk to the people in your life about their dreams and what they feel most motivated to achieve and to do in their lives.

But don’t feel confined to just the people you know in real life.

I often recharge my motivation by listening to a small part of an audio book by Brian Tracy or Wayne Dyer. Or I may watch a Youtube video by Ali Abdaal or Matt D'Avella. Or read a chapter in a book on my Kindle.

Spending just 5 or 10 minutes with doing that can, in my experience, very often turn your mood and mindset around and ignite your motivation again."

This is kind of depressing and self-reflecting time..

I Googled "checking in with life" and it leads to self-care. I've been thinking about this lately - Like what are the basic things that I need in life and general summary of things that help with depression?

Reddit - Dive into anything

I'm drinking chamomile tea. I like this stuff. I'm thinking of buying a psychedelic/religious yoga mat to meditate in the kitchen.