Roll Call 196

In general though I’m doing good, and better with my impulsiveness/overspending. I didn’t go overboard with Christmas shopping this time, I got everyone on my list one small but meaningful gift. I still have more than enough money to get me through.

Also paranoia seems to be improving. At least I’m able to talk myself out of it now when I do get that way. Normally it just gets worse and worse. But my med increase is helping in a lot of ways including sleep.

Got some hot chocolate today to have around the house. I just feel like hot chocolate while listening to Christmas music with the tree on is nice/relaxing

I am really bad at making connections. I really am just trying to connect with people on the lowest level possible and I am not very good at it. It really sucks feeling so isolated in the world. I am not sure where this is coming from, but it's not helping to be alone so much these days.

I feel like the only people I see are my therapist and doctors. Not that good.

I'm still encouraged by the Latuda helping but I'm in a bit of a hole because I feel like I cannot connect with people.

Have you tried going to your local library and checking out some of the programs they have? The ones here sometimes have like crafting and stuff for adults too in addition to children's programs. I'm lucky to live where I do in supportive housing otherwise I'd isolate completely most likely

There's sometimes social coffee events too some places like Desoxyn used to go to

Or since you play ukulele as well, maybe try looking for a local ukulele group that meets and practices together, that could give you some common interests to form more connections with people

I've been trying to find my power to do the things I need to do. The voices, or one more so, have/has been hurting me physically, & my spirit is very sad.

It's quiet on here tonight.

I did the rest of my Christmas shopping today, went to a local independent bookstore and got a handmade genuine leather journal with linen pages for my sister and a snowglobe for her house.

The gift for my niece is a gold necklace from her favorite bands merch store (Greta Van Fleet) , it shipped already so should be delivered in the next week

This is the necklace I bought her

Key Necklace – Greta Van Fleet Official Store

and this is the gift I got my sister, and the snowglobe I got for her house

I'll also pick up two boxes of chocolates one for each of them

Those are beautiful things, Blue_Bird. I hope the cats will like the new scratching post.

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Yes, it sure is. Happy Birthday to @ofthevalley. I still haven't rescued my Facebook account, so I can't say it on there.

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Thanks! The scratching post shipped today so should be here next week. Their toys were delivered today. I had them delivered to my sister so she can drop them off next time she visits, because I don't want to risk the packages being stolen or something

How are things going, unsure?

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Yes, I hate that about packages, always waiting for the delivery which doesn't come when they say it will.

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Yeah I'm ok thanks, I ordered a ps5 today but it doesn't come for like 2 weeks. How are you Angelique?

Thanks for the suggestions. I tend to just procrastinate with reaching out to friends, and I just feel really cynical these days.

I'm also moving to a different country in a little less than two months so that is making me very anxious.

So, I feel like the combination of things is making me super anxious.

Also I can't remember if I posted this here but I feel like my doctor and therapist are like the only people I talk to.

I know they have their roles and stuff but I need peers to talk to. Less structured conversations. More fun conversations instead of just like therapy and med conversations. Things have gotten really boring.

I think it's also the fact that I'm switching meds right now. Antipsychotics can be tough to switch. So I have to keep that in mind too.

I'm ok, thanks, but I have RLS (restless legs) and my bed is broken so I can't adjust for the legs. (I usually raise the lower leg area of the bed, the elevation relieves the RLS or at least helps a little.) A PS5 sounds great!

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Walked to Family dollar today. Got the cats a new litterbox and some other household essentials. Yesterday I got 7,386 steps in (3.07 miles) according to my Fitbit. Today I've gotten 4,431 steps in so far and it's only 9:30am now. Hoping to make it to 10,000 today.

Wow, Blue_Bird! You've been doing really well!

Yesterday I tried to buy a tv, but it didn't work out. I feel a little better today. I made myself some chocolate oatmeal cookies.
I hope everyone is having a good Sunday.

Thank you

Sorry about the tv not working out

Glad you're feeling somewhat better today, and the cookies sound great! I hope you have a great sunday too

Got on the treadmill today. Also took a walk to the store because I needed more cat litter and cat food.

Anyway, today I’ve gotten 7,000 steps so far and it’s only late morning now so I have the rest of the day to get another 3,000 and hit my 10,000 goal. Yesterday I got around 8,350 steps. My Fitbit is definitely motivating me to be a hell of a lot more active because normally I would probably get like 1,000 steps at most on an average day.

Have a tenants meeting to go to in about an hour. Surprisingly not super anxious about it, I think getting physical activity and exercising is helping my anxiety a lot.

I’m also determined to improve my cardio health. Because mine is in the “poor to fair” range for women in my age range (20-29) according to my resting heart rate. So I’m really focusing on improving that over the next few years.

I have my yearly physical with my primary doctor on Thursday.

I’ve also been taking the stairs instead of the elevator in my apartment building. Every time I go anywhere, even just down to check the mail. I live on the 3rd floor and it’s honestly a pain in the *** to do because I’m out of shape but I know it will be good in the long run and help make a difference. I’m trying to make healthier food choices too

Hope you get your PS5 soon Unsure. Weren’t those really hard to find for awhile? Like during the first two years of the Covid pandemic? They’re probably easier to find now though. What kind of games do you play?

I love gaming too. I have an Xbox One X and a Nintendo Switch. I am trying to get over my anxiety to do multiplayer gaming at some point. Just got a pair of gaming headphones recently that have a microphone and an Xbox gold subscription. So I’m hoping I can get over my anxiety because it would be fun to play games with people.

Hi friends.

I didn't catch up on the whole roll call but it sure is good to "see" all of you. Work has been kind of hectic lately so I haven't been around as much. Have a therapy appointment tomorrow and a physical therapy appointment tomorrow! Oh and I am going to Peru in April. So I have an appointment on Saturday to get my passport! I'm excited about that!

HUGS for everyone! Kit

It’s great to see you SK! Hope you have a good trip in Peru

I went to the tenants meeting. It was fine. It was an hour long. I asked the case manager here if she would come up next week with the maintenance person to help me learn how to use the self-cleaning function on my oven because I’ve never used it before and am somewhat afraid to. She said absolutely and that she’d stay with me while it cleaned if it helped my anxiety. I don’t really need her to stay here for 4 hours but I would like her to stay at least while it starting the process and when it’s finished to make sure I do it correctly and to help with my anxiety about it

They also told everyone to use surge protectors in the outlets if they plug something in especially a Christmas tree. So I’m getting some of those

Hi, Kit! Wow! Going to PERU! I can't wait to hear about that! HUGS! Blue_Bird,I think you have been inspiring me. In this last week, I've been feeling more determined about the outside
world. I'm also trying to do better. And I really do feel blessed. Anyway, I went out again yesterday to get a few things, & when I was
almost at the store (walking,) the sweetest dog came up to me & I got to pet him (or her.) Such a loving, gentle dog. Golden with blackish hairs mixed in. l glanced up & the dog's companion, a shy, oldish woman was about 10 feet away. I said what a wonderful dog she had & then they left. And here today I keep thinking of that dog & what a beautiful, sweet soul he/she has. The experience still feels so meaningful & special for me.