Roll Call 199

So happy for you!!!

Thanks! I didn’t think I’d ever date again. It’s been 10 years since I’ve dated. I’m 28 but I honestly thought I’d spend the rest of my life not dating lol it got pretty lonely but I was content with being alone but then I realized if I’m with the right person it can be wonderful

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This may seem stupid but I’m tracking how long I stay away from sweets /candy etc. I just want to stay away from them for several reasons, I eat too much of them. So I’m trying to cut them out. Just like pastries, candy, ice cream etc that kind of stuff. The app will help keep me motivated to see how long I can make it. My rule is basically I can eat anything I want in moderation as long as it’s not those things. I can’t do moderation with sugary stuff. I’ve tried it and failed endless times. I’m just the type of person who has to abstain from sweets. Cuz I go overboard with them if I have any of them.

The bfs half bro is experiencing psychosis and his dad is taking steps to get him involuntary committed. He’s calling people late at night and either playing music or threatening them. The bf thinks he knows what he’s doing so that it’s somehow the brothers fault and I keep explaining he might not even be aware or at least aware all of the time. The whole thing is pretty triggering because I realize he would probably blame me if I ever became psychotic again.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

That’s sad, I’m sorry that’s going on I hope his brother gets the help he needs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I can finally say I've had two days in a row now that I haven't had any significant psychotic symptoms. The Vraylar is kicking in and the Haldol is working and I am appreciating the clarity and focus.

Good day today. Refilled meds. I'm on 6 meds, and one PRN.

Small amounts of microdosing (Although I don't feel like using psychedelics or nootropics much right now).

Psychosis is scary. It's been 2 years without (Except one night, a week ago, I thought "Oh ****..", but I went to sleep).

Lots of sleep is the greatest cure. You can't have psychosis if you're unconscious. So dose up the APs. When I got home yesterday? I went to sleep and slept all day and night until work this morning.

And btw, I left work early cuz I started to feel really shaky and nervous. I work really hard when I'm supposed to work.. I've worked really hard since age 15 (Cuz I'm a heavy perfectionist), and realize that it doesn't get me anywhere - I have to work smart instead.

I think this is quite better than psychosis.

I have all these bruises on my arms and hands. Like 12 little bruises. Idk if it’s from playing with my dog (he’s rough) or something else.

I also have a bunch of little scrapes on a couple fingers. Don’t know what happened there.

Mysterious injuries.

Edit: lmao apparently easily bruising can be a symptom of lupus. ****ing hell back again with the drug induced lupus. Pain in my fingers, now bruises.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If it medication induced they should be able to reverse it by changing your meds right?

Yeah the lamotrigine.

I have to take a blood test next week and then I see my doctor on the 18th to find out results.

If it is drug induced lupus (which it’s looking more like) then I would have to stop it and go on something else. It’ll go away once I stop the medication.

I hate waiting so I’m going to complain the whole time.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This reminds me of my cousin …she probably has celiac but never bothered to confirm because of the way they test it. She was just like I’ll avoid the wheat. Wouldn’t be easier just to quit the med and get a new mood stabilizer?

Oh yeah I just have to talk to my doctor and figure out. I have to wait.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

But like about the celiac - you have to get a blood test, and then a gastro scope while still eating wheat and then they can confirm intestinal damage and diagnose. It’s not really that bad if you’re still eating wheat. Some people get false negative though (like my mom).

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Also TMI I’ve being having some gastro problems lately and a threw up this morning. Idk if it’s because too much fatty food and then too much alcohol last night or again this lupus thing.

Just all these things.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I started learning how to play my keyboard/piano. I learned how to play twinkle twinkle little star on it today. I recorded myself playing but don’t know how to post it , it’s not a video just an audio recording. If anyone here wants to hear it that I’m also friends with on FB, I can send it via Facebook messenger. Also learned the basic strumming pattern and chords to a simplified version of Jason Mraz’s song I’m Yours. I posted a video of that. Getting more serious about practicing regularly with both instruments.

Anyway I’m doing well, my bf and I talked over phone call for 2 hours tonight. Idk how that happens. Every time we talk 2-3 hours end up flying by like nothing.

Tomorrows Easter. I’m not doing anything really to celebrate. I’ll probably spend some more time learning songs

Tuesday I have to go to my volunteer job. The person who gave me the position will be visiting there to check in. I never met her in person yet, just over email. She’s in charge of the kitten angels program and the volunteers.

Thursday I’m meeting with my career readiness instructor to create my resume so I can apply for jobs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So my mental health is good. I’m on all my meds. I’m debating whether or not it’s a good idea to get off some of them or whether it’s a bad idea to mess with them

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Please stay on all of them, Blue_Bird.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

If you’re good on them right now I wouldn’t try to change them.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah you’re right. I am just trying hard to lose weight, I feel like getting off the meds would help that. But at least I’m having healthier habits lately and exercising. I know I’ll lose weight eventually. It will just be really slowly and I’m extremely impatient

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk