I was engaged to a woman for almost 2 years. 2 weeks ago this coming tuesday she broke up with me for reasons she could not explain at the time. she has since sought help and was recently diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. I am trying to be there for her as much as possible and we have both told each other that we love each other. what can i do to make things easier and help her as much as possible?

[crazybones]

i dnk man dating people with certain things can be a little harder then what most people can deal with unless you are truely understanding of the person i dnk much about schizophrenics like i said being understanding is the main thing it is all you can do

any idea what i should expect?

[iamtwilight]

I don't think many things will be different if you've been engaged for almost 2 years. Being there for her as much as you can is a good option - just remember not to drain yourself. As in, if being there for her feels bad, you need a break (Coming to Psych Central for support is a good break). If you want to be her partner, also remember that you can't be her therapist.

Oh! And study her "illness" (I dislike the word illness - though that's what it practically is, I just dislike it).

That's my advice - hope it was at least somewhat useful. Best of luck to you two.

i've done some research on here about what to expect and the medications she could be on, possible side effects. i have some questions for her psychiatrist, but she doesn't want me to contact him right now

[SingleGirl]

How old is she? Is this her first "episode"?

Depending on those answers, you might not be able to base the future on the past few years.

Illness progression can be somewhat guesstimated by age... not precisely, but it does follow some patterns.

It's good that you want to help but what I can offer is the following... you can't change her, you can't do it for her, you shouldn't work harder than she does, etc, etc.

I have 29 years of trying to "help" my parents who both have mental illness... and it's nearly destroyed me.

Good luck.

she is 26 years old and this is her first episode. to the best of our knowledge she has no family history of this. as far as working harder than she is, i strive to remain in a supporting role and nothing more than that.

[SingleGirl]

My suggestion, based upon her age, brief history... get as many opinions on her diagnosis as possible before you settle into paranoid schizophrenia.

Every mental health clinician will have a fresh set of eyes and so many disorders can have psychotic features that resemble paranoid schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is such a specific illness with a specific course and anticipated limitations on functioning and absolute need for anti-psychotic medication for stabilization/cessation of symptoms... and even then, some delusions can be fixed.

Other illnesses will have different patterns, treatments, and outcomes.

If these are her first dealings with mental health, I'd go slowly before resolving her to a life as a person dealing with paranoid schizophrenia. Work on treating her symptoms and supporting her in this place but also let her know that her future isn't written in stone.

I'm a little hesitant to support the paranoid schiz diagnosis b/c your timeline said that she was diagnosed within the last 2 weeks after (I'm assuming) one visit to a clinician/doctor. Mental health diagnoses take time and evaluation and observation to be semi-sure... and something as serious as schizophrenia would require a complete understanding of how she is functioning in all aspects of her life and typically, interviews with family members to get their perspective, etc...

Just my guesstimates, of course, and it can never hurt to have a fresh set of eyes take a gander at the situation.

Either way, just try to meet her where she is...as long as she isn't a threat to herself or others, give her some love and freedom to find her own way ... let her decisions be her decisions until a time (that might never come) when she is no longer able to make them for herself...

All in all, you seem very supportive and that's great! Support is the absolute key to recovery.

she has been seeing her psychologist for a least an 1-1.5 hours a day, for the last 2 weeks. I have my doubts and have suggested her seeking at least a second opinion due to the severity of the issue. she seems open to the idea, so let's hope she does seek one.

[AboveAllOthers]

I've been diagnosed as a schizophrenic (and some other issues yet to be diagnosed), so here are a few things to consider. First, they're still a human and should be treated as such. Second, learn about the disorder so you can get an idea of what to expect. Third, try asking someone in the mental health field as to what to do, expect, etc... . Chances are, they can give you better information than a textbook, website or whatever the resource is you're using. Best would be to ask the person they are seeing. For me, I hate others treating me differently or referring to me as a "schizophrenic".

Try to get her to take the meds. I went off of mine because of some of the nasty side-effects I got.