[your_ragdoll]

How do you tell someone they have delusional disorder and make they realize it?

[Rose3]

this is what I have learned through experience with my delusional mother -- you can't make them realize it. No matter what you say, they will develop an expanding delusional answer.
So, it seems better to keep them safe, protect them from harm (either self-harm or misfortune) - some, like my mother, became paranoid - and when that happens they sometimes do irrational things - so they put themselves in harm's way - because of their irrational beliefs. Some try to flee from their imaginary tormenters - and this too puts them at unnecessary risk.

[john4]

Rose3 and your ragdoll:
I'm somewhat confused (may I be sincere and thoroughlt honest?)
I'm receiving treatment for precisely that, delusional disorder. See, I had good reason, as I was sexually abused at work and had to retire from work for good. Dunno if I may be followed by this guy again, but they say: "you're deluded" - he won't come back. That's why I don't go out unless absolutely necessary. Even then I'll think-up every reason in the boook NOT to go out. Deluded? "One bitten, twice shy" as we say.

[Rose3]

yes - there is a difference between delusional or reality-based thoughts/behaviour
When a person has a fear based on an aspect of reality - then that is not a delusion.
It's like - myself - I had fear of my mother; I feared that she might harm me; my fear was not delusional because she had assaulted me in the past (reality).
If nothing had ever happened before - then it could still just be fear (because there are a lot of dangers out there in the real world).

[PsyChris]

Delusions tend to vary greatly.

Rose3 is correct that it's near impossible to talk someone out of a delusion. At the same time you want to do as little as possible legitimize that delusion. Do not admit you believe their delusion or try to belittle it. Listen to them and acknowledge that you know they believe this---but you do not. The worst thing that you can do is to stop listening.

[SingleGirl]

I'd ask your motivations for wanting the person to understand their delusion... if it's for their safety, then you do what you can to facilitate their safety (if appropriate) or refer to a psychiatric clinician for possible inpatient admission until they are safe...

If it is for your mental well-being, my cold-hard advice is to just learn to cope. Some delusions are fixed and do not, ever, go away. By definition, delusions are an inability to perceive things as they are in that moment... so it's a lost cause...

Best case scenario is that this individual can realize that they have a tendency toward delusional thinking... you could work on helping them develop skills that recognize reality from delusion. One of my faves is having people ask questions any time they doubt their own sensations... "did little bobby really poison my food or is it possible my brain is just overreacting a little tonight?"

approaching them with the "why can't you see" attitude won't work... b/c they can't see.

if it is damaging to you, however, don't listen... i know that's what Chris said to avoid... but truthfully, you can't go down for someone else, anyone else... so if this person's delusions are abusive toward you and you are unable to remain in the relationship, then refer the individual for care and try to heal from your experience... then, move on with your life...

you do not have to fix anyone nor should you feel obligated to remain in a position of service to someone who is pushing you to an unsafe distance...

another option is to just ignore it... if the delusions are not life threatening, why do they have to be realized? if someone wants to believe in purple unicorns in their bathtub... and those unicorns aren't hurting anyone... then, i'm going to let them believe that purple unicorns live in their bathroom...

everyone has their own perception of reality... it just so happens that we label some people's perceptions as wrong or symptoms...

good luck with this individual, i'm sure it's very frustrating

[Rose3]

it seemed to be helpful - for the delusional person to experience trust in other people - so that even when the delusions were being described (and believed by that person) - the delusional person could express her concerns.
The presence of the listener. Making comfortable eye contact. Providing kindness. Because without those - perhaps this delusional and paranoid person would be feeling even more frightened.
Oh, I could go on and on - and I keep thinking about all this, and it just goes in circles.