Have you?

misty · Dec 15, 2004, 11:15 PM

Have you ever seen peoples eyes turn nothing but black?(no whites of the eyes). Have you ever seen another figure in someone elses with the black or crystal blue almost white eyes? What are the voices that do not present themselves as alters just sit in the back ground laughing cutting me down cutting others down, telling me to do things I do not want to do?????
larx

itsjustme111 · Dec 16, 2004, 01:06 AM

Not this particular experience. I have seen things that others don't see. Never in this regard.

The voices...yes. I find that the hard part. Telling me to do things I do not want to do.

So what's going on? Is this happening now? What are they telling you? And are you feeling unsafe with these voices?

How can we help you through this? I think my concern with this is what the voices and telling you. Please post more about this and if needed...go get some help. Please don't give in to this. This is not you....its the illness talking. Let us help you.

Justy

misty · Dec 16, 2004, 02:10 AM

They tell me I am no good. They tell me others are no good. Burning and cutting they tell me I need to do but I do not want to. I have to hide the knives and sharp objiects at night because I am afraid that something might happen and I or someone will do something with them. I do not even know if this is the place I need to write this stuff but it's the only place it seemed that it might fit.
larx

misty · Dec 16, 2004, 02:33 AM

thanx justy for responding. Some times I can fight off the voices and other times it's so tiring to fight. Not tonight. Not going to listen to them. Gona go to bed and put all sharp objects away paranoid or not atleast we are safe.

itsjustme111 · Dec 16, 2004, 03:59 PM

((((((((skylrks))))))) my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you suffer with this. I know its hard and wish I could take it away for you dear.

I have similar issues with the voices. Is very tough to fight but I am proud of you for fighting the way you are. Do you have a pdoc or a t you can talk to about this? I hope you are getting some help with this cause ITS ROUGH!!!

Hope the day improves for you. Hang in there and yes this is the place to talk. Post all you want. Keep talking to us.....

Justy

(JD) · Dec 16, 2004, 04:48 PM

Just wanted you all to know I'm trying to keep track of ya.. and I care. Hope you are all having a decent ---safe--- day.

misty · Dec 16, 2004, 08:47 PM

I know coming here last night and talking/writing helped but I feel bad like I did something wrong. I tried telling T things I've seen and heard but felt that he was not understanding so just avoid any talking about any of it to him. Maybe that's not good. Actually I feel very astranged from T right now and I'm pretty sure it's because of me and the way I am. My mind right now is racing but it's better than the negative voices.
skylrks

misty · Dec 17, 2004, 10:38 AM

Hi sky! At first your saying you're keeping track of all of us scared the bageebees out of me but then I came back and read agin. Some times things get so messed up inside and it seems everything becomes like I'm in this strange world and everyone has a motive, after me, the voices tell me it's true, then eventually reality comes back and I see things differently.
Thank you for caring!

kimmydawn · Dec 17, 2004, 11:33 AM

((((((((((((((((((( larks )))))))))))))))))))))))))

i hope you feel safe soon. i care about you and yours.

kd

LixTetrax1397 · Dec 22, 2004, 06:40 AM

i have people shapeshift on me sometimes. they look like one person and the next second they're another.

misty · Dec 25, 2004, 02:25 AM

shape shifting never heard it called that before. It fits though.

Malady156 · Dec 30, 2004, 05:54 AM

i'd call it faceshifting but that's because it's usually the face that changes on them for me, as opposed to the body.

(JD) · Dec 30, 2004, 07:21 AM

Sorry larks for the poor choice of words. Didn't mean to scare you. My bad. Yeah, that wouldv'e tumbled me too, say, in PTSD forum!

Have you?

--me

Malady156 · Dec 31, 2004, 06:50 AM

faceshift ... phaseshift ...

Malady156 · Dec 31, 2004, 07:01 AM

faceshift ... phaseshift ... i don't like the neighbors looking at me when i go out to smoke. i feel like they are thinking things against me like "there she is, the resident psycho". (i hate all that "running commentary" jazz -- it's so much noise and static, for the love of god i can't imagine why certain buddhist sects advocate developing this as a tool for detachment and thus to reach enlightenment when all it is to me is mental noise pollution ... kind of like crowley's "oath of the abyss" where you are supposed to pledge yourself to regard every phenomenon as the particular dealing of god with your soul ... i was all but born doing that ... do they have any idea how insane and isolating that can be???) ... anyway as i was saying ... so i phase shifted out at twilight. they were getting out of their car. here come the "eyes" ... those dreaded eyes ... always gawking, never comprehending ... i did the 3-d tv static sort of phase shift ... you know ... zzzt ... zzzt ... like max headroom, so it would seem as if i were invisible to them.

i also have this rock i picked up at lake erie back in 1994. it's ovoid and smooth and i can rub it a certain way (not telling) and utter a certain chant (not telling) over and over until i become imperceptible -- that is, it will be as if i am invisible; no one will notice me or interact with me. i should find that rock for my long metro rides downtown to see my pdoc now that i think about it ... LOL ...

sorry if i sound dorky. i suddenly feel very childlike and playful. Have you?

only nice people can visit me here. i don't want any mean nasty bullies who would try to say ugly stupid things like my rock trick is a lie and i'm bad for making up such things. they suck and they smell and they do dirty things, i don't want them near me ... k thx! Have you?

misty · Dec 31, 2004, 08:57 AM

Mal good to see you here.
I like your rock trick. Have you?

they got a emoticon to go along with it but instead of having to run you can just go poof. cool!
When did they get these new ones? Have you?

Malady156 · Dec 31, 2004, 11:48 PM

i don't know but the spinny guy is funny. Have you?

Malady156 · Jan 01, 2005, 04:39 AM

my favorite emoticon, i can't remember where i got it from but it's this guy:

Have you?

he just looks so warm and friendly and encouraging, you know? like he would never put you down, never push your buttons for cheap kicks, never treat you like crap, never ostracize or villianize or deliberately misrepresent you for his own comfort zone and convenience. he just sits there being loving and sweet.

i like him.

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