[skymonk]

earier today I was just playing around on my computer&I found a file showing all keystrokes made for quite some time. I scrollled through quite a few entries&found that postings I'd made here were clear&easy to read. I can't find that file again now. I also had trouble logging in on my e-mail, I kept entering my password over&over&it kept rejecting it. So I turned to my bf who's tech savvy&asked him why he'd changed my password-He said he didn't&that I'd changed it yesterday&just couldn't remember my password. Well, I've had this password for several weeks-so I know I didn't change it. As far as the other files go, I've tried everything&can't reproduce them. So I basically accused him of doing things on my computer&he said he hadn't. Then I accessed my e-mail&felt like a jerk&couldn't figure out why it didn't work 8-10 times in a row. So I've apologized&he's said it's OK-but I don't think it really is. My behavior has become more&more erratic&paranoid this year&we haven't been getting along&this doesn't help! I talked to my T&he said that he's had the same thing happen when he's tried to access e-mail&didn't know why I couldn't find the keystroke file. He told me not to worry, but I can't help but worry that I'm going stark raving nuts! Can anyone relate to this? I'm biploar, PTSD,anxiety&schizo-affective disorder&am taking Geodon&Wellbutrin XL. Could this be my meds or just my mind or both? HELP!

[spiritual_emergency]

skymonk: I'm biploar, PTSD,anxiety&schizo-affective disorder&am taking Geodon&Wellbutrin XL. Could this be my meds or just my mind or both? HELP!

Do consider that even if you weren't all of the above, you'd still have moments when you can't remember where you put things or minor details such as passwords or phone numbers. It's possible your moments of forgetfullness are related to the above but it's just as possible that it's related to the demands of living in today's fast-paced world or even, routine aging.

Now that you're aware that it does sometimes happen, it would probably be a good idea to get a notebook and jot down things like password changes or file names. They're easily forgotten details at the best of times and this might prevent you from having to ask your boyfriend if he's privy to any details you're not.

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[skymonk]

Your suggestion is a good one except I can't keep all of my things under guard 24/7&if those files were created by him, he already knows all of my passwords. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I think he's been messing w/me mentally&just blames everything that goes wrong on my illnesses&my "forgetfulness". We've had many hard times since Christmas of last year&the same themes&loops keep being played&replayed. So, I don't know what's up. Going to do some more research on the web on my meds.

Originally Posted by spiritual_emergency

skymonk: I'm biploar, PTSD,anxiety&schizo-affective disorder&am taking Geodon&Wellbutrin XL. Could this be my meds or just my mind or both? HELP!

Do consider that even if you weren't all of the above, you'd still have moments when you can't remember where you put things or minor details such as passwords or phone numbers. It's possible your moments of forgetfullness are related to the above but it's just as possible that it's related to the demands of living in today's fast-paced world or even, routine aging.

Now that you're aware that it does sometimes happen, it would probably be a good idea to get a notebook and jot down things like password changes or file names. They're easily forgotten details at the best of times and this might prevent you from having to ask your boyfriend if he's privy to any details you're not.

.

[ScaredSad]

I think the meat of your post comes when you wrote that your behavior is becoming more erratic and you are feeling more paranoid.

Whether that's caused by meds, mind, or both, it necessitates immediate attention.

I don't want to discourage you from doing your own research on your conditions and your medications but I feel that you need to bring this to your clinician's attention at your next appointment. Be clear about it and tell him/her what you told us... that your symptoms are no longer being managed.

Good luck with your situation. I hope you find answers soon.