[Moose72]

I am dignosed Bipolar I, but thought I'd get some imput here, too.

First, I think I get WAAAAAAY worse with my swinging emotions the week - especially day or two leading up to- my period. Today and yesterday were horrible with BF - my crying and such. I have had a horrible cold since Friday- exhausted, etc.- and have had to stay in bed to let my body heal.

TMI: Then tonight, it was pretty darned bad and then I THOUGHT my period had started. (If you recall, about a month ago, I had a period and the day before I was crying pretty hard in a restaurant.) I say "thought" because I have lots of symptoms, including the bright red not just spotting, but its not "on completely". Sorry for TMI. :END of TMI

Now, I don't know it if its because it is late or because of my period, but I am hearing things again. I know it is normal to hear popping noises just as you are falling asleep. Mine are much more frequently lately AND much louder. But not 10 minutes ago, everyone was asleep in the house again, and I heard what sounded either like my mother gasping in pain or horror or the dog make one bark. I got up, checked: Kids all asleep, dog awake on my mom's bed with her. My mom woke up when I went in her room and I asked about it: she said she was asleep, dog didn't bark and go back to bed. So I was just getting to a corner in the hall, when my daughter got up to go to the bathroom and I scared her. I said I was sorry and that I was going back to bed.

As you might recall, I was put on Risperdal only a week ago or less. I'm sure I haven't missed any.

Oh- and BTW: BF and I had a nice talk about what's been going on these last few weeks. At least, a mixture of what I just explained here, and the fact that he needs to sit and listen to what I am saying to him. He probably has no "answer" but at least don't talk down to me. I gave him examples. Anyway, that's all I'll say on that. I felt really positive about it- not overly so, just like we'd actually had some much needed communication between us lately!

[Miracle1986]

(((Moose)))

[BodyModJunkie]

i dont know what to suggest really.
i have been diagnosed with severe anger problems and clinical depression, my doctor doesnt know much about borderline personality so im going to a psyciatrist to find out.
but these past few weeks i have had it pretty rough, in two weeks, i had my mobile phone stolen, i get attacked by a group of about 15 boys, then my moped was stolen. its making me very angry, which is turning my friends against me.
one night i was in the house all on my own, and i walked up the stairs and removed my make up getting ready for bed and i just started hearing the most traumatising noises. it was like blood curdilling screaming, i couldnt get it out of my head, i was clutching my ears to stop it and it wouldnt go away, so i started screaming over it to get it to go away and i couldnt. not for about half hour or so.
last night, me and my best friend had a major arguement because i was moaning about my awful day of mood swings. the voices came this time, they were so disturbing and the things i was hearing was s oawful i wanted to die so i didnt have to hear it again, i started to search my room for something that i could kill myself with, i found a blade and as soon as i brought it to my skin, even before i cut, it stopped.
i put the blade away and started crying, i couldnt sleep at all. because of that i had an awful and tearful day at work today.
i dont even know why i'd pick up a blade because im not a self harmer, and haven't been for about 3 years.