[thelionkinglives]

Ok I gotta share...As some of you might remember when I first started visiting this site one of my most pressing issues was getting my financing for college taken care of because it seemed like I had hit a brick wall with only 19 credits left to go. Well, I have it solved now & it's a combination between feeling relieved & excited about moving forward & felling really crappy about myself at the same tme....

My mom & my grandma are going to give me the money I need to pay off my past tuition bill so I can enroll for the summer...I greatful & embarrassed at the same time because I have been self sufficiant since I was 14 & am the only one of the grand kids that had never borrowed money from my 96 year old grand mother...She's given money to the other grand kids that they've used on drugs & most are in prison...so I justify because I'm using it for college...but at 33 it's just embarrassing to need to borrow money from them...

So I'm feeling happy & crappy at the same time...does this make any sense

LK

[Rmdctc]

SH** happens and you move on. So you borrowed the money. Your going to pay it back once you start making those BIG bucks. If it makes you feel better about it pay it back with interest. And your right its for a good cause so im sure they are happy to do it!

[Typo]

Congrats LK!

I know how you feel, I still refuse to borrow money from anyone to help me with well anything, except if I'm broke and someone offers me a cup or tea or coffee I will gladly take that

But look at this way, like you said, most of them used it to buy drugs and those grand kids are in prison now, I am sure she was more than happy to give you money for your education and is proud of you for it. It's probably reassuring to her to know it's going to something to better yourself.

Like Rmdctc said pay back with interest when the time comes. Or try to think of it as another loan!

I know how you feel, but things will be okay, and your getting the last of your education in!! yay!

Blessings
Sparrow

[lynn P.]

Hi LK,
times are tough right now and you're using it for a good reason. Like you said you have been self sufficient since you were very young and you're very proud, like all lions(LOL). It's okay to accept help for a legitimate reason. They must believe in you. Feel peaceful that this burden has been lifted and just be graciously grateful and don't feel guilty. You have also helped others in past as evidenced in your bio, so you deserve it. Best of luck and make your family proud. What are you studying?

[thelionkinglives]

Thank you all very much...

I was thinking about this quite alot last night & I think I know what bothers me the most about it. When I take care of it myself, in essence I don't really have anyone to answer too & no one is "invested" in my success...I don't know maybe this is a good thing to feel a responsibility to someone else in this regard....

I am greatful, just slightly wounded pride from needing to accept it....
Now, I just gotta finish m last 19 credits...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

LK

[thelionkinglives]

Hi Lynn
times are tough right now and you're using it for a good reason.
Thanks, my head knows that...it's this stupid pride muscle I keep pulling
Like you said you have been self sufficient since you were very young and you're very proud, like all lions(LOL).
guilty...
It's okay to accept help for a legitimate reason.
again*sigh* my head knows this...I tell people that all the time...I guess I need to cut myself the same slack with it
They must believe in you.
Yes, I guess I'll always be finicky with this...when I feel no one believes in me...I am eager to prove everyone wrong, but am angry they don't believe in me.
But then when someone believes in me, I hate feeling the added expectations & responsibilty I feel with that...excuse me while I do to myself something I hate when my daughter does to me *rolls eyes"
Feel peaceful that this burden has been lifted and just be graciously grateful and don't feel guilty.
I do & I am. I am staring at the phone trying to work up the courage to call my Grandma & say thanks
You have also helped others in past as evidenced in your bio, so you deserve it.
TY
Best of luck and make your family proud.
Not gonna cry...is anyone looking...
What are you studying?
My major is in Mathematical Sciences with a minor in education. I am going to teach High School Math & coach sports

LK

[lynn P.]

I think that would be perfect for you, since you have a sense of humor and quick wit about you. It will mix well with th high school kids. Good luck.

[bearchic34]

Your mother is a blessing from god! She has saved us more than once. I am so lucky to have such an amazing MIL. The money isn't a loan either. It is half of what LK's mom is going to inherit when grandma passes...she 96 she can't live forever....the woman scares the crap outta me...and she LIKES me....I can't imagine how she treats people she doesn't like.
I am relieved that we can NOW truly put the past year behind us and move on with out lives TOGETHER