Big decision to make....

I'm terrible at this stuff! My analytical brain wants to put everything in little columns labeled 'pro' and 'con' and make a life changing decision that way but I know that's not how it works. Maybe you guys can help me see the situation in a new light or give me some advice?

I was recently (like an hour ago lol) offered an fellowship at Purdue for my PhD. Currently I am in Arkansas and haven't gotten an offer yet but have been assured that I will. So here is my issue in deciding:

-Purdue is considered a better university overall (ranked higher) in the US. They have a really good program and are internationally known. They are pro-travel and send their students all over to conferences. It is waaaaaaay closer to my family (from 13 hours to 3.25 hours away). It is also closer to my bf's family (from 6 hours to 4 hours away). My niece is thinking of going there (she will graduate h.s. in 2013). Northern Indiana is really pretty and surrounded by forests.

-I already know I get along really well with my current advisor. If/when I get an offer from Arkansas, it will be for more money. My bf has a job here (a good one at that) and if I leave either he would go unemployed for god knows how long or he would stay here and we'd be about 10 hrs away from each other for who knows how long. The U of A is still a really prestigious university and is in a really pretty part of the country.

I just don't know how to go about this! I feel like no matter what it will be a good decision. I feel like I am too involved in it that there has to be something I'm missing in the argument.

Well, Purdue won't have that ONE same annoying person you have been writing about. You DO get along with your advisor except for whatever he has been doing with this guy, and maybe this is your way out of the situation. My cousin's cousin was Purdue's Golden Girl a million years ago, that's how the hankster became a baton twirler, true fact! The travel sounds like fun, I would a) maybe make sure the pest isn't following you there? and b) figure a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. how frequently do people get offers that they can pick and choose between them? how soon do you have to decide? oh yeah - CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Okay, the school and program is better at Purdue, despite Arkansas being "good".

You and boyfriend would be closer to family.

Knowing your advisor is "safe"; no reason you can't meet/know another advisor and, as scary as that is, in the long run might be better because it would take social/educational "muscles"; you would have to interact with a new person (which will help if/when you get a job/leave school) and the whole point of view and approach to teaching/learning would be different so you'd have to work your own how-to-learn/see muscles and they could be made stronger by the interaction with the new.

The money could be a difference; approx how much does it cost to live in Arkansas versus how much in Indiana and would that be a wash because either place would work or is the more Arkansas substantive and the cost of living Arkansas that much less that the comparison of the four would show a clear difference? I don't think that you necessarily want to be "working"/making a living yet as a student, you just want to be able to, as you have been? You will still be a grad student, not a full-fledged doctoral-wielding bug expert making millions so, money should still be viewed in light of that so you have something to really look forward to in a couple years?

Purdue cost-of-living
Purdue salary

vs.

Arkansas cost-of-living
Arkansas salary

Obviously you are not worried about the money as you feel either one will be a good decision.

That leaves only your boyfriend's problems with finding an Illinois job? Not really your problem but. . .

You move, he moves with you/on you looks for job
You move, he does not move with you

Either way there, you are paying for yourself/the apartment!

You stay, he stays, status quo is maintained; nothing "new" happens, no new growth.

Do you feel lucky, Punk? Well, do you? I would take the chances, join the Navy, see the world, etc.

Perna, nothing like a Clint Eastwood "Dirty Harry" reference to "make my day"!

Arkansas is pretty damn cheap. Then again so is Indiana. The salary does make a difference but isn't the sole factor. I have been making it on poverty level income for a long time now so it will be nice either way.

It's funny you should mention the 'pest', hankster. He actually said he realizes that he is NOT Ph.D. material and isn't ready for the commitment so he is out of my hair no matter what after spring semester.

I have met the advisor I would be working with at our national meeting I went to a couple weeks ago and he seemed really nice and friendly. I was told he is a totally different person than he was a few years ago. I guess he has since gotten tenure and had a child - all of which mellowed him out big time.

I mean, I up and left Dayton to move to Carbondale, IL and then even further to Arkansas (with a little stint in upstate NY) so the whole risk thing is not an issue.

I realize that my bf's ability to find a job isn't technically 'my' problem but it still is a factor. Also, my current advisor is all about sending his students places. Since I have been in his lab I have gone to about 6 states, Peurto Rico, Austria and London. If I stay here, in July I would be going to Costa Rica. I have met probably over half the major people in my field and know them personally now. He is extremely well known and essentially created a job for the last guy that graduated.

I just talked to him on the phone and he said he has known for a while that I got it. He said he spent a long time on the phone with who would be my advisor there and has also gone to the dept head (at AR) and talked about giving me a better offer. He wants to have the 3 of us (me, my advisor and dept head) sit down next week and talk about what I need from them to keep me here!

He says "feels good to have universities fighting over you doesn't it?" I said yes except now my decision is about 1,000 xs harder.

CONGRATULATIONS salukigirl!!!!

your choices are hard...because i do see the pros and cons of both too. Outside of talking to the new advisor, and a lot of your research, have you ever been to Purdue? Would visiting the campus help in making your decision (maybe spend a week, then come back)? How else are you feeling?

While i am just starting my University journey (after finishing college), its my understanding that future employers like candidates who have constantly challenged themselves with a wide variety of experiences - and can share what they have learned/taken away/been given etc from each. Maybe Perna is right in that the pros of staying in Arkansas is that it is *safe* and that you can maintain the status quo - which is nice, nothing against that at all. While you have a good relationship where you are now, maybe this new offer could present a different challenge and new research opportunity. I don't know...

in the meantime, congratulations!!

(Why do i love good news on PC? Because i get to have fun with smilies )

Thanks, notablackbarbie. He said on the phone that they will fly me out to visit probably in February. I have family in IN so I have been in and around but never to West Lafayette. Employers do like to see different universities on your CV. I talked to my dept head about it and he said if I had gotten my BS here he wouldn't admit me and would tell me that I really need to go elsewhere for a PhD. Getting an MS and PhD in the same place isn't as much as a death sentence. Bc so many people get in and really enjoy their project and want to continue it into a PhD.

I also have to have a conversation with my bf about it. Hopefully there will be a little light shed on the situation when I talk with my advisor and dept head next week....

So we talked and I think that I have decided if my dept head can offer me the Doctoral Academy Fellowship I will stay. There is one fellowship above it but it is only offered one per dept for the time that student is there. So that one won't be available again until the student who has it graduated so that one is not possible.

This fellowship is more recognized and pays more. I thought about the whole new challenges and new experiences thing....I have already been introduced to so many people and have been sent all over the world. I don't think staying would hinder me. And actually, my advisor is one of the top authorities in the world in my area and is known all over. What I'm in is such a tight knit group that meeting people isn't hard and everyone pretty much knows each other. I think if I were in a concentration like molecular genetics....it would be a little more important.

I am having a meeting mid next week to talk about it with my advisor and dept head and hopefully will have a better idea of what is going on. Thanks everyone for your support and good thoughts!