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#1
Dec 03, 2011, 04:41 PM
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I'm at least 20 years older than most of my classmates in grad school, and all along I've been trying to figure out the archetypal role that best describes my relationship to them, a mental image that I can be comfortable with. I tried the whole paternal thing. That didn't really work. I'm not a dad now and most likely never will be. I tried the uncle thing. That's a little closer to the mark, but what I've decided is that I'm more like the weird, older half-brother who's trying to make good, but doesn't really come around often enough for anybody to really get to know him. Hopefully, that'll work.
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You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#2
Dec 03, 2011, 05:40 PM
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(((((halfswede)))))
Maybe it would be helpful to focus on yourself and your studies, as opposed to thinking too much about how your classmates perceive you and compare to you? |
 HalfSwede
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#3
Dec 03, 2011, 09:56 PM
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You're absolutely right, M. I've gotten a lot better at doing that. We all have one thing in common -- we're there for an education, and that's the most important thing. But I think there is a social aspect to it that I can't totally ignore. That's much less of an issue now that I'm working full-time; I simply don't have any time to hang out and chat anymore. Mostly, I just go to class and come straight back home and do homework, or work work. There's just that 15-minute break in the three-hour class where I'm not always sure what to do with myself, and the few minutes before and after class when everyone's packing up. Then again, I was socially awkward even when I was the same age as everyone else. Just can't put too much pressure on myself, y'know, relax. 
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#4
Dec 04, 2011, 09:16 AM
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I know how some classes are you find some are more sociable than others for the breaks. If not and for other lag times, I'll carry around a novel to read during that time. I'll look up periodically to engage others, but that way I have something to do if there is not anyone to talk to during these times. This even strikes up a conversation as times, as they have read it or want to know how it is. Perhaps this might help.
__________________
 I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. -Dalai Lama XIV |
| HalfSwede
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#5
Dec 04, 2011, 10:00 AM
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Why don't you try classmate and friend?
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| HalfSwede
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#6
Dec 04, 2011, 10:41 AM
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I'm not very social at certain periods...during downtime I like Suduko to find something to do with myself...
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Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
| HalfSwede
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#7
Dec 06, 2011, 09:12 PM
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Quote:
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#8
Dec 06, 2011, 09:15 PM
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HS
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#9
Dec 06, 2011, 09:17 PM
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__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#10
Dec 06, 2011, 11:31 PM
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I think the main thing for me is to stop worrying about what's age-appropriate and just live my life while I've still got it.
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#11
Dec 07, 2011, 01:56 AM
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Are you doing anything special to stay fit? It's funny how especially for us brainiacs, doing something physical can be so mentally formative and transformative. You won't have ANY question of who you are.
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| HalfSwede
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#12
Dec 07, 2011, 08:29 PM
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__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#13
Dec 08, 2011, 07:41 PM
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So we had a change of venue for class tonight, which is always horrendously awkward for me, because then I have to figure out what to do with myself all over again, after I've already gotten used to one pattern of behavior. However, this turned out to be pretty good. It was a lecture by someone in our field, so it was in kind of a function room. A woman I thought didn't like me offered me a seat next to her, and we ended up having a pretty nice conversation. You never know how things are going to turn out.
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
| Fresia
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#14
Dec 08, 2011, 09:08 PM
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Yup, you just never know!
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| HalfSwede
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#15
Dec 09, 2011, 10:20 PM
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Quote:
__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#16
Dec 10, 2011, 11:38 AM
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__________________
You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on. - Samuel Beckett It's never too late to start all over again - Steppenwolf Every person carries with him or herself patterns of thinking, feeling, and potential acting which were learned throughout their lifetime...As soon as certain patterns...have established themselves...he must unlearn these...and unlearning is more difficult than learning for the first time. - Geert Hofstede |
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#17
Dec 10, 2011, 07:56 PM
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That's why I like living in denial - I just don't BELIEVE any of those things happened to me. The few times they were SO blatant that I absolutely could NOT ignore them? - well, they certainly are engraved in my mind, but still so unique as to be almost - what's the word? not laughable, but something like that. I've talked about this with T - these things happened so much AT HOME, that what kids did at school, or later at work, just couldn't compare. They thought I was going to go postal at work, is why they fired me. Sweet li'l ol' me?!
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| HalfSwede
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#18
Dec 11, 2011, 10:08 AM
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Just be yourself, I made friends with classmates who are 15+ years older than me in college, and they're not trying to go for an "older brother" or "Uncle" thing. They're just being regular guys and the age doesn't make a difference, we still talk about all the normal things... class, cars, beer, tv, anything lol.
__________________
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. |
| HalfSwede
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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