HOW would YOU feel?

so your parents say your fine

your counselor says your fine

but, YOU feel you struggle with concentrating

YOU feel inadequate in school...

YOU feel like you can never quite get things done right in school.

In fact, why your other friends are graduating from college this YEAR,

and they entered college the same year you did,

you still have 2 years left.

In fact, it's going to take you 7 years to get your bachelors instead
of 4.

And that doesn't even include whether or not you will be able to maintain
your focus for the next 2 years. Currently, you are in your 5th year of college.

How would YOU feel?

Really, tell me?

Cus' you have felt this way your entire life through school..

but, guess what, everyone else thinks your FinEEE.


( I just think my memory is really really bad or something)

this may sound silly but has anyone taught you how to study efficiently? There are few types of people (some are more visual, some prefer auditory stimulus).

Are you registered at the drc? (disability resource center)

They can provide extra time on tests, free tutoring and an abundant of resources that can help you succeed.

So it takes longer to go through school, if it is what I want to do, I work on it as long as I need to. Not anything anyone can do anything about whether you are fine or not? Do the best you can with what you have and work on what you want to learn. We are all different and have different attributes, abilities, resources. Maybe you are trying to learn in a way that is difficult for you.

Do you know about learning styles?

http://www.learning-styles-online.com/overview/

agree with all of the above..i took some extra time. talk to the peeps mentioned. maybe you need some study help...no shame. also no hurry...you have all the time in the world to graduate...no law says you must finish in 4 years. when anyone asks you say...i found so many cool things to study i just couldn't help myself...i had to learn everything i could...while i was there. period. end of story. that is what i tell people.

i don't do well with reading & studying after class..but i take awesome notes in class...so i would take my class notes & then recopy them & organize them that night. this way i recovered the material. placed them in a binder . kept everything organized. never read the textbooks but that's just me. i found this method to work..did the same when going thru the law enforcement academy eons later as well (ok it was almost 10 years after college & i was worried about all the classwork)..same system worked like a charm..

what i am saying is you have to find what works the best for you..once that happens then it will be much easier...go talk to the counselors, see what they have to say...can't hurt. might help.

until then...relax. you have time.

Oh yes, I had to work so hard for my grades & if I didn't cram for the mid-term or final right before I was taking it, my memory was GONE & I would blank out on the tests. I also had to know that I knew all the material or I would panic & choke on the tests & end up failing them.

Took me 8 years to get my BS. The first 3 years I spent getting my AA degree in Music.....then I decided to change majors because I was never going to be good enough to get my BA in flute performance......so then what???????? I first thought strictly Computer Science.....but some of the classes I knew I would never pass, like the 2 years of calculus & the engineering classes that I had no idea what they involved......so I decided to go with an Accounting Information Systems Major & the Computer Science minor.....that way I could program either business systems or engineering or if I was desperate, I could try to get my CPA.

My junior year, I ended up meeting the guy I would end up getting married to the next year after he graduated with his Computer Science degree. The first year after he graduated & finally got a good position, it took him to Roma Italy for 5 weeks & I decided to go along....figured I would never get another chance like that in my life.....so I took that semester off. Then I ended up getting pregnant & kept up with my school because I ended up having our daughter 10 months before I graduated. Managed to have her the week before Easter vacation from school, so that gave me a couple of weeks off after having a c-section. Went right back to finishing off my semester.

Graduated that 10 months later with a 3.25 GPA & had several job offers to choose from before graduating.

It took me so much work & focus which made my husband mad. I remember one weekend before a really huge test, he wanted me to go with him & a group to Disneyland. I had been to Disneyland so many times, I wasn't about to take time away from studying for that huge test. He held that over my head as being controlling all 33 years of our marriage.

Many times I would rewrite my notes from class & organize them in a way I would understand them better. I would also rewrite notes out of the book to incorporate them with my notes & then go over them & go over them until I could picture my notes in my head & see every point I thought I needed to know for the test. It worked the best for me most of the time. Back when I was in college, I wasn't dealing with the depression or anxiety that I ended up suffering from later on in life.

I remember going back to school & taking more classes after graduating & we had moved quite a ways away from my work & school.....right before the test, I remember having my notes in my hand on the steering wheel & trying to drive & last minute cram on my drive to class. Interesting however, it seemed like it was easier to retain the material after I graduated than it was before.

I graduated HS back in 1970......I graduated with my AA in 1973, graduated with my BS in winter 1978. I started out programming for Citi-corp's credit card system, then after a year changed companies to the one where my husband worked & ended up as a firmware design engineer working on military computer systems.

When the aerospace industry took a down turn in 1994, I ended up loosing my career completely when I couldn't stand the position I ended up in (glorified secretary with an engineer's salary......long story). I ended up having a break down when that happened. I tried to go back to UCLA & take classes in computer graphics, but kept ending up in the psych hospital. I pretty much was a basket case from 1994 until 2003, in & out of psych hospitals & eating disorder treatment center......then I really thought I was doing better & decided to go back to the junior college & work on their Interior Design certificate program. I actually went to the disabilities office & got special help like longer time & a quiet place to take tests, the ability to record lectures because all my wonderful note taking abilities just ended up in anxiety attacks. I however got so involved that first semester that I ended up being treasurer of the on campus interior design club & the leison to the professional groups & to the interior design club at the university I had graduated from with my different degree. The classes went so well, it was really shocking to me how easy they actually were.....but it did help to have the extra time & help that the disabilities office provided.

Sadly, my mother had been diagnosed with cancer the year before & was going through the chemo & radiation that year. That summer after I finished my first semester in the interior design classes, she had the surgery. The end of summer right before school started again, I ended up in the hospital because of an asthma attack I had from the smoke of a forest fire that settled over the valley I lived in. I had been out in the smoky air because I was on foal watch with my mare who was expecting any time. She took longer to have her foal than we expected. Right after that, I ended up with a mild sun stroke. I physically wasn't up to going back to school & all the work that I would need to put into it which I guess was a good thing because 3 weeks after my foal was born, she got injured & it took all my energy to nurse her injured leg. It was a wonderful bonding time with her, but it took a lot of work.....then everything fell apart with my mother's health & I went through a trauma with the home care person who abused her & me in the process in a very scary situation. Know I would have definitely rather been in school taking classes than how things ended up that's for sure.....my mom died that winter & dealing with the PTSD & the anorexia that the stress caused left me too messed up to even try going back to college again.

Think I am just now getting to the point where I could handle taking classes again, but have focused my learning on Bible studies rather than college classes. I am enjoying reading books that I never had enjoyed doing before. I would get so burned out on text books & technical manuals that I couldn't even enjoy reading a book.....even a fun book.

One thing I have found....interesting enough is that after I started taking the Omega 3 EPA/DHA at 1600mg/day (2 teaspoons of the liquid fish oil), my memory really improved. I started taking the Omega 3 EPA for my depression as I had a wonderful pdoc that was into clinical studies & alternative natural treatments. It really helped my depression also & my energy level & to my surprise, it really helped with my memory & remembering the things that I read. Wish I had known about that when I was in college because I definitely would have taken it then. I am sure it would have helped with my retention of materials for tests.

May be something you might look into trying. Study methods are important.....but if you struggle with retaining anything like I do, any outside help like the Omega 3 definitely can't hurt.....besides, it's good for the body along with the mind.

Don't worry about how long it takes you to get through to get your degree. I came to the conclusion that it's better to take longer & have a higher GPA than it is to push your way through & get a lower GPA because you are trying to take so many classes to get good grades in them all.

My husband graduated with a 2.0 GPA & the company he wanted to get a job with wouldn't hire him because of his low GPA.......where with my 3.25 GPA, I had 3 job offers to choose from. Yes, it was definitely a different economic environment back in the 1970's, but companies will still pick the graduate with the higher GPA when there are so many to choose from.

Keep working at it & don't give up out of discouragement. It's an accomplishment that can't be taken away by anyone & it definitely gives you a better chance at getting a job/career than without......with that in mind, there is nothing more important for a woman than to have the ability to be independent & be able to care for yourself. If for some reason you end up in an abusive relationship (seems they are more prevalent these days) you will have the means to pick up & leave without being financially dependent on an abusive person.

My best wishes for your future

((((jazzy123456)))

Answering this question honestly...at first i would be like =

I am just now in university at 26. I already had to withdraw&defer (TRANSLATION = drop out and start over) until September 2012 because too many classes were missed - overwhelmed/appointments/breakdown and SU attempt/surgery/recovery - and just my overall health was a mess. I am currently working through in T (among other issues) how angry i am of myself for messing up YET ANOTHER YEAR OF SCHOOL considering how long it took me just to do college - including breaks and and transfering and dropping out for a semester then reapplying again to finish part time...ugh

If i continue that spiral of comparing my self to peers - many who have been working since they graduated college, many who went to university and have been working since, many who are doing their masters/PhD/law school/Med School, many who have been traveling/getting married...it does just get REALLY depressing

It does all boil down to perspective...Which is where all of the other posts above make sence.
a) Try checking out counselling and disability services on campus to see what your learning style is, do assessments to maybe see where you are off, and pick up some study skills along the way. When i reapplied to college on a part-time basis, after being on academic probation, it was just like "**** it" and i dropped by the department to see how they can help. I am also currently registered with counselling and disability services when i started University for more support too on an ongoing basis to continue with study skills, note taking, learning strategies...
b) Focus on what YOU want out of school overall. Both of us need to learn that other people and their journeys that they are traveling on SHOULD NOT be number #1 on our mind. What are we working toward...? Where do we want to go...?

Jazzy123456, I logged on to respond here because I CAN REALLY RELATE to this...and am in the process of learning not to be so hard on myself...this is just the path that i am on. It is a slower path, and i do get stuck a lot, and do hate myself for being stuck so i struggle with getting "unstuck" but i think i am still moving...forward...somewhere. What help do you think you need to improve on concentration? What help do you think you need to improve on memory? What help do you think you need to continue in school for the next 2 years? What do you think is your next step toward your goal/passion/plan...? These questions can be hard to answer. I am working on them too. Although we are all on different paths and journeys toward... we aren't alone in struggling too for a WIDE RANGE of reasons....Keep looking for more of the support you think you need so you can continue as YOU, not just everyone elses expectations to follow. I am sorry that you are struggling right now too...*also offers a shoulder to lean on and an open ear to listen and care more*

I know how you feel, but we all have our marits.
For example, I'm really good in certain areas of science, english, drama, psychology, and sociaology.

But I'm terrible (very terrible in fact) at math, and certain areas of science (ironic isn't it) but if it helps, try to focus on what is good for you.

Yes, I'm in the same spot.... only my friends that entered college at the same time as me, they are already in Master's programs. and I have two years left....

It hurts when people say your fine, and you are not. I couldn't hide it anymore, and I ended up in the Behavioral Health Unit, twice in one semester, and within 2 months from each time in there. Life is hard, and then you add in a mental illness.... and that makes it worse, and much more harder.

That's when you tell people, that you are NOT fine, and keep telling them, until you can get the help you deserve.

Take advantage of all the resources you can at school. For me, that was intimidating (and even embarrassing to feel the need for them), but it's worth it. If you have access to tutors, etc., go for that. Familiarize yourself with all the possible options around you.

--CHANGEwillcome :]