Insecurity when learning language

Okay, so with extra semmester, I decided to finally move up my Russian skillz up a notch. Fot like the fourth time.

My problem with learning language so late is that I feel very awkward in it. All of sudden I cannot express my thoughts in the way I would like to. I feel stupid and incompetent. I hate that I cannot speak everything on my mind.

How to overcome it? English is not my native language, but I started learning it very very young, as well as German (I would need to polish up that one too, because I forgotten a lot).

Unfortunately, I think that is the nature of learning a new language, not being able to express complex emotions until you are close to fluent. You may be able to say, "I am sad." or "I am excited.", but to state a more complex thought is difficult.

I find that in French. I've come to grips with that fact. It does help living in a bilingual country though since even when I was in the French-speaking area, there were English people I could express more complex thoughts and feelings to.

It's also natural to sound awkward as you are learning but that's not stupidity. It's essential to be willing to be wrong sometimes, to be uncertain you are using the correct word or the proper verb tense. Hopefully you have someone to correct you, ex. a teacher or fluent person, but even if you don't, speaking and reading, and I suppose even writing, it essential.

I always had trouble with not "trusting" myself in the new language (and in new software on the computer) and had to stay and force myself to keep working instead of running. It's unknown and kind of scary for me. I still remember when I was learning shorthand way back in the early 1970's and trying to trust my memory instead of learning the symbols.

I think like many things in life, become skilled in language requires a lot of exposure and practice, and while most people can master enough of another language to get by, it takes exceptional skill to become what is classified as a "native speaker: I have an friend who acheived this at the age of 16 with French, in part because he spent several entire summers there when he was younger.