[perplexingly]

I'm close to finishing my first year of college, term three began today and we have 7 weeks remaining. I'm a bit worried about certain folios I have to submit and exams I have to take, but the big thing for me is all the decisions I need to make. I never make decisions easy, any decisions (I get frustrated choosing what I'll have for lunch almost everday, really simple choices, just like that), and the amount of pressure on me to make a decision is really frustrating me. My mum keeps throwing options at me, stay at the lodge by the college, stay with my great aunt and uncle during the week, go to a college further up the coast and live with her friend during the week. My boyfriend has been asking me non-stop this week which college I'm going to. I planned on getting my own place (I turn 18 in a couple months) and letting my boyfriend stay with me when he needed to go to college for his courses. But now I just feel overwhelmed by all these choices I need to make...

[equive]

Hi. There are so many options of things to do in college that it can definitely be overwhelming. It sounds like you are having a lot of difficulty, in particular, trying to decide where and with whom you would like to live when you start at your new school. It sounds like you've been accepted to multiple colleges and the living options would be different depending on which one you picked. Did I understand?

Maybe you could make a list of the options you have, and then make a pros and cons list for each of the options? I usually find I have an easier time making decisions / getting things done when I write them out in list form. College can be a great time to finally go out and live by yourself, but sometimes you feel safer or it is actually safer to stay at home. It depends on your situation.

As far as keeping up with the work...I suggest getting a nice planner and making a to-do list? That really helped me while I was in college. I typically wrote my to-do list in the blank space in my planner, so I could plan out my week based on what I needed to do and it was all in the same place. You want to make sure you are doing what absolutely has to be done first and putting off only things that can actually wait.

Also, as a final suggestion, maybe it would be helpful to have a conversation with your mother and your boyfriend about how you are feeling? They might not realize they are overwhelming you - they might just be excited for you and genuinely trying to help you out. Maybe if you could ask them to give you some space and if they followed through on it, that would eliminate some of your anxiety.

I hope any of that helps.

[Perna]

When I am feeling overwhelmed like that, I write stuff down. Just getting it out on paper stops it from going around and around in your head, multiplying and tangling with other choices, etc.

Sounds like you only have two actual choices; do what you originally wanted with your boyfriend or do one of your mum's three choices? Start with choosing one or the other of those? Then you can do "sub" choices if there are any. Pretend it is like outlining a paper?

My mum keeps throwing options at me,

stay at the lodge by the college,
stay with my great aunt and uncle during the week,
go to a college further up the coast and live with her friend during the week.

My boyfriend has been asking me non-stop this week which college I'm going to. I planned on getting my own place (I turn 18 in a couple months) and letting my boyfriend stay with me when he needed to go to college for his courses.