[Alishia88]

I suspect, that even when you´re very confident and generally convinced of your ability or possibility, fear and the pressure to REALLY and 100 percent
achieve and do something like your life depends on it, presses down on your confidence and ironically makes you LESS sure of yourself.

I think it´s a problem for me. Before my father died, I felt pretty confident about my way in life and that I´d be able to achieve good things.
But when he died, I got giant fears: I NEED to achieve, I NEED to be good enough so I better be perfect, to make sure not to be not good enough because I´m on my OWN now, my life safety is dependant on only me.

This giant NEED and MUST to achieve, this fear of falling if I don´t, made me feel less able and less confident in the end.
I think it´s the pressure.

Does that makes sense? How can I ease some of it?

[Miswimmy1]

that makes total sense to me. the more aware you are of ur want to succeed, the more you analyze, and find more and more flaws. so i guess technically, you are making urself lose confidence, because you look and look for flaws, and then when you find them, obsess and obsess.

i would begin by seeking a school counselor, or another type of t. they can help you. it sounds to me like the root of ur problem is anxiety. you are afraid of being alone in the world, so you have to set these high standards for urself to ensure that you do well in life, and then you put all this pressure on top of that. that is not healthy. so yeah, i would begin by getting professional help.

[Alishia88]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

like the root of ur problem is anxiety. you are afraid of being alone in the world, so you have to set these high standards for urself to ensure that you do well in life, and then you put all this pressure on top of that.

That sounds about right, or feels right, to me, thanks.

I´m already in a therapy, but we´re only beginning and I get only 60 minutes per weeks, so we haven´t gotten to talk about it.

[Miswimmy1]

i hope that you can talk about it soon. because i think a ur t can, and will, really be a great resource of reassurance for you!