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  #1  
Old Mar 17, 2013, 06:30 AM
njbjpdjadm221 njbjpdjadm221 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2012
Posts: 17
I have a professor at school who seems like she really cares about me and is trustworthy. She is the only person that knows about my depression and has been really nice to me. I have had a lot of trouble connecting with people lately, but I feel like she understands me and I feel connected to her. I want to be able to tell her things. I really don't have anyone to talk to. I scheduled a meeting with her in order to talk about what I want to do with my life. I want to be able to tell her how I'm feeling but I'm afraid she will tell someone. I don't have a plan, but I've been thinking a lot about hurting myself. I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable position, I just wish I could talk to someone about it without them having to judge me or freak out and force me to go to the counseling center. If I go to the counseling center, I know they will tell my parents and I don't want them to find out about this.

What do you think I should do?

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  #2  
Old Mar 17, 2013, 10:41 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
I don't know where you go to school but I don't think the counselling center will tell your parents anything. If they deem you not able to do your work/a "threat" to costudents or yourself in the sense you disturb others by being so sad/can't concentrate on your work, they might tell the school and the school send you home for a semester, tell your parents "why" but the counselling center won't share details I don't thing.

I would go to the counselling center; your professor would be put in an uncomfortable position and would probably suggest you go to the counselling center; when I had a problem in college my girlfriend was working for the head of the Department of Health Education and took me to go see/talk to him (and stayed with me while I did, I had to promise her I wouldn't cry :-) and he was good to talk to but just forwarded me to the counselling center.

You are beyond going to parent-like figures for help, I think it would only jeopardize/ change your relationship with this professor. Keep it vague with her, tell her you are feeling depressed but don't go into the self harm thoughts, express your fears the counselling center will tell your parents (and see if she has more/better information about that) and just ask her advice what to do next.
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  #3  
Old Mar 17, 2013, 01:08 PM
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archipelago archipelago is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,773
I agree with Perna, who has given very good advice. Schools have rules you may not know about that may put this professor in a bind and end up making a bigger deal out of it than you imagine. Going to the counseling center is confidential and the appropriate place to take this. A professor might truly care, but they can't help you and might have to tell someone if they get worried. You can always return to the professor after some sessions and let her know what happened. I think the counselors would help you much more anyway because that's what they are trained to do.
  #4  
Old Mar 17, 2013, 08:36 PM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
If you are over 18 in the U.S., anyway, your parents will not be contacted. I agree it would be best to go yourself and not get the prof caught in the middle. I am glad you have found a supportive professor, however. That always helps!
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