[lonely_girl88]

i was never lazy nor unmotivated in high school. i always did my work, tried my best and worked hard; and got good results. i'm currently pursuing my second major after my first failed major. my first major was law. which i wanted to do and which my parents really wanted me to do and was most happy and proud that i was doing, especially my dad, a lawyer himself.

i passed the first year and progressed to my second year, which i failed. but i repeated it, and failed for the second time and felt discouraged and most upset. (it was challenging and i started to lose interest in it and having a passion for law and reading). after failing second year twice, i started to think that law wasn't for me and considering dropping law. but i was afraid to tell my parents. and they insisted i try it a third time. i did.... and they suggested i do it externally/ on my own since "i know the work and everything and made no sense attending school for that third attempt". but truth be told, since i was so unmotivated, lost all hope, gave up and found everything hopeless; i sort of became withdrawn and moody and i didn't study i just couldn't! (i never talked to anybody, but i always researched the way i used to feel from failing the second attempt to now - my moodiness, withdrawn nature, hopelessness and guilt, cutting, etc.... and found that i may possibly have dysthymia? but i don't believe in suffering from depression and always dismissed it because my parents wouldn't like that.) i never told my parents that though. but eventually, my parents decided that law isn't for me when the payment didn't got through, they took it "as sign" that law wasn't for me. and i switched to my second and current major, graphic design. but i'm still lazy and motivated. i know that i have to pass, i know that there're reasons why i must pass! and nothing motivates me :'( and it's really frustrating. i don't know how to get motivated. i don't know want to do. cutting myself as punishment don't help. it only helps to take away the self-hate and guilt that i feel. i mean, everything feels so hopeless, i'm old and don't have a degree. i feel like giving up on everything, because nothing will get better. it's like i'm stuck in one place and not moving and i just want to scream :'( what can i do? i need to study and pass, but i'm just lost.

[manwithnofriends]

I can't really help you here... cause my uni subject doesn't involve writing so many essays. You just have to find out what you don't understand about your subject and keep reading it until you do.

[dukedante1138]

Hi lonely_girl88,

You seem to have a lot of problems. You should not percieve them as a big burden. Try to think about them individually.

Firstly, try to manage your depression. Talk to someone close or a therapist. Or look at different threads here or articles on other sites specific to your problem.

Then think about your studies. Maybe your style of studying is not working for you. Try to change the way you do things, like the way you read textbooks, the way you plan your day, etc. It does not always require effort to change. Look for SQ3R, Pareto Analysis, Pomodoro etc. on google. These are ways to study, you will find many of these.

It may be possible that one of problems may be linked to others. You feel sad and hopeless and then you don't prefer studying and slack-off. If you try to be busy you may not feel sad that many times. I am not telling you to study everytime. Get a novel or a book and read between study sessions. Draw something or pursue a hobby.

You should not lose hope. Don't expect that one day all your problems will disappear. You must continuously work on them. Try to read as much as you can about your problems, it helps a lot. Your problems may not suddenly end, but you will learn to manage them.

I am a student. It's hard to explain how i manage my problems here in a few words. I still have many problems but i've learned to manage them. I too feel sad often but i know the right places to look for inspiration.

As you said about cutting, i would recommend going to a therapist. It may be costly but it may help you a lot. It will be a good investment for the long run.

In the end I would say that you should not expect that your problems will suddenly end but you will have to learn the art of living by them.

Good Luck :-)

[Tiger_Lily]

The Pomodoro Technique sounds very interesting. I should see if I can find the book.

[dukedante1138]

Well, pomodoro is quite a simple concept and easy to implement. The hardest part of it is making it a habit and holding onto it everyday.

You don't need a book to master that, you can find about it everywhere on the net. I came to know about it from a thread on this site.

[Tiger_Lily]

Their website actually has a book. I cannot imagine using it with anyone else though.

[Travelinglady]

The main question is: Are you really interested in graphic design? If not, then it would be really hard to get motivated!

Second, are you sure you aren't having depression? That can keep folks from being motivated.

I do recommend study techniques that will help--but remember that they will still require work.

[Knotreel]

Originally Posted by lonely_girl88

i'm currently pursuing my second major after my first failed major. my first major was law. which i wanted to do and which my parents really wanted me to do and was most happy and proud that i was doing, especially my dad, a lawyer himself.

I see something familiar. Are you sure that law is your true passion? Is it the job itself that you really want? Or is it what makes sense because of how you grew up? I'm just saying this because I have family members who are lawyers because they were pressured by their parents to continue their legacy. One uncle of mine wanted to be a pastor and the other wanted to be a rock star, but both had successful lawyer dads who weren't having any of either. So if that really is what you want, then by all means plunge right in. But if not, maybe some time off or a visit to a guidance counselor may be a good idea. Either way, best of luck and I hope you do well.

[Perna]

It sounds like you have not found what you want to do/study yet. What your parents want for you probably is working against you now as you have to live your own life. Their pressure is probably making your resistance greater rather than helping. I would do some daydreaming and make a plan I liked for what you would like to do. Maybe you would like a little job and take some courses on your own time while working (I like to use what I am learning at the job I am working)? Or maybe you don't really want to study right now, you'd rather just make some money, see what the work world is like, what living with friends or alone might be like instead of with family, etc. Look at some magazines and books and fantasize what your ideal situation is and think of ways to go toward that.