[beatnikcat]

I am a sophomore illustration major at a prominent art school. There was a point in time when I would have been thrilled about that, but not so much anymore.

I've been starting to rethink my career choices, but I was never really sure to begin with. See, I'm pretty good at drawing. Everyone says that I have a talent, and that I need to pursue it; however, just because you're good at something, doesn't mean that you enjoy it. I don't look forward to going to any of my classes, I don't enjoy the company of anyone here (or anyone at home, for that matter), I have trouble focusing and often procrastinate...

What I'm wondering is this: Should I take some time off after this year to just work and figure out what I want to do? Because I'm not happy, but, then again, I'm not happy with anything, so. I'm just wondering if maybe depression is holding me back- because I can't see myself doing anything else, but I can't really see myself doing anything.

I don't know.

[Perna]

If you are not enjoying where you are, by all means maybe see if doing something else helps (taking time off to work, for example). You could be depressed or just not have much experience with doing different things, etc., you can't really know if you just keep doing what you have been doing that doesn't seem to feel good/be working?

I am wondering about depression for myself now and so I am looking at some obvious ways to see if I can feel better/make some changes and see what happens. Maybe you will find something else you enjoy doing and maybe you won't but you can't know just "thinking" about it?

[Stronger]

You are young and will not always be. I know how hard it can be to get out of something that seems almost impossible (due to hours of commitment, financial issues, etc). But what I might suggest is that you come up with a plan before you take time off. Of course you should take time off, because everyone has the right right to be happy, but knowing that you will make that time worthwhile is really important. Map out a plan for yourself, maybe by the day, of what you will do and explore and see on the road to find what truly makes you happy. There will be something, but finding that something may not be the easiest thing ever.
Just hang in there and keep pushing forward. Depression is the worst, but that doesn't mean it has to always bring out the worst in you.

[beatnikcat]

Thank you so much to both of you. I really appreciate the support; I think my main concern right now is having to approach my mother about the issue. I don't want her to be upset or disappointed. I mean, I know she'll understand because she's a good mom, but. I just don't want to be stuck at home like everyone else in my hometown, and the last thing I want is pity.

How does one deal with that?

[Perna]

Keep focused on you, what you want and how you feel rather than worrying so much about other people (that's their job, to worry about themselves :-) I do not think your mother will be upset or disappointed, she has been your age and had some problems in life similar to yours and there really is nothing for her to be disappointed about? You are learning about yourself, what you like and do not like, what you are good at and what direction you want to go in. That takes some time. Even if your changing directions takes another year or so in school or you do something else for a bit before going back to school or do something else and don't finish school at all (all three of my stepsons did that, started but didn't finish college but all three are in their 30s/40s and doing wonderfully in their choices now) it is easier now than if you did not know and broke/became really depressed and ill later?