Need some urging on please!

Hi to all,

I am almost completed with college. It has been a very long road (7 years for a two year associate degree) just doing classes here and there. I will admit that there have been times that my Bipolar has affected my schooling to where I had missed class, slacked on assignments, and just withdrew from semesters. Out of 64 credits to earn my degree, I have only 7 credit hours left to complete which equals 3 different courses to complete. Everything was fine up till I lost my internship job. I have since fell back into my old routine of 'not caring' and barely making it through the two courses I have left. I have since dropped the internship of 3 credit hours. My husband fully supports me as well as he can. But, there are times (quite a bit) that I just need that urge of motivation to continue on. It would be a welcome feeling to know others have been in my shoes as well and I also welcome any thoughts that would inspire me to stay on track. Sometimes telling myself "You can do this', just isn't enough. Hugs to all!

PS, how well does everyone cope with having a job? I could use encouragement there too. I get very overwhelmed and experience agoraphobia at times when I am employed.

JaeMae - it took me a couple of attempts at college before I graduated but the day I stood on the stage and received my diploma with MY name on it, that no one could take away ... it was a real feeling of accomplishment. Hang in there - your work does not have to be perfect. Just do the best you can.

Thanks so much! I am ready to complete this chapter. However, I am uncertain how things will go once I am employed. I have always had conflict with employment due to Bipolar. Is this something you may face as well?

Learn from your bipolar issues and mistakes when you work. When I graduated from college I was thinking work and you think you will get a job and that will be it. It does not happen like that, you will probably be working three or four times as long as you were in college and that sort of off and on thing will happen with different jobs and situations all through your life. That's okay! I changed major when I was in college (my junior year) and graduated in a totally different subject than I was "supposed"/wanted to and spent over 7 more years in my 50s getting a second degree in the original subject. I then started graduate school and dropped out when I was almost 60. You will have many jobs and maybe go to school more times, etc. so what I would do is not get too attached to or worried about any one job or decide you are a failure or "wrong" or "bad" or a problem until you have had at least 20-30 more years of working at Life

I'm in school again now, a diploma course, and it is right where I want to be.

sometimes i 'bribe myself' to get something done,,, then i get a 'treat'... it's sad but sometimes it works, so i do it. but as far as working, you might consider looking for a job that will give you 'Accommodations' (as provided for under the ADA ...Americans with Disabilities Act).

you have to disclose to your employer that you have a disability and the nature of the accommodations you might need. you do not have to give the name of your disability. so if you need "additional sick days" due to "a recurring movement disorder"... that could describe depression.

the exact wording of the letter must include: "Under the Provisions of the 1990 Federal Americans with Disabilities Act, i am requesting accommodations for a Disability Related Functional Impairment, specifically: ___________"

most government jobs are required to provide accommodation, but request them AFTER you get hired~!

best wishes~
Gus

JaeMae - I wonder if some of your procrastination with finishing your coursework could be your fear of employment expectations once you graduate? I have had anxiety issues in relation to employment that I had to (or I could say CHOSE to) work through and that was not easy either.

But here is my thinking ... just because you get that degree does not mean you have to work in your field or work at all. Maybe finishing that degree is all you need to do and remember ... you are enough even if you never do.

Gus, thank you! You and Little Lula has hit spot on with your comments. I felt relieved when I read them. I have seriously considered disability also. I have had tons of jobs in the past. Only two I can say I truly enjoyed but still faced the outcome of bipolar. Only with those two jobs I rarely missed work. All the others came down to missing way to many days of working. I feel like a stigma with being BP and that no employer will understand the conditions I face sometimes. I know deep down myself that until I did find the 'right, comfortable' job that I would probably be bouncing from one employer to the next. On the other hand, I feel like I would be letting myself down if I were to draw disability.

Thank you That's the thing, I have been doing the on and off college thing since 1995. I will be 37 this year and have almost came to the conclusion that I need to try for disability since school and work are not complimenting my bipolar.

Disability is an option and is there if you need it. You are just soooo close to graduating. Like what was said, you do not have to take a job right away or at all. The thing is, if you get to a stage where you feel you are able, you would have the degree to fall back on. I wish the best for you in whatever you decide.
Believe in yourself and you can go far no matter the road traveled.

Thank you all for the support! This has really helped me stay on cue!