[arachnophobia.kid]

Here's the series of events:

1. Got all excited about university and applied
2. Got accepted, got even more excited
3. Enrolled in classes, paid tuition, got nervous
4. Dwelled on it, found out I don't even want to go to school
5. Too ashamed of self to to tell anyone that I've changed my mind
6. Pseudo justifications = Second guessing = Confusion = Apathy = Absolutely no idea about what the right thing to do is.
6. Probably gonna go through with it anyway, why?

Mind****

[glok]

Hello, arachnophobia.kid. Perhaps you might view going to a school as a worthy challenge, a means of instilling discipline and something you might learn to enjoy?

[Perna]

If you are not ready yet, I would withdraw, get your money back, use it on something else you are more interested in at this time. I do not think you can sustain school work if you are not interested in being there.

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by glok

Hello, arachnophobia.kid. Perhaps you might view going to a school as a worthy challenge, a means of instilling discipline and something you might learn to enjoy?

I can feel like that on some days but generally there's an overriding feeling of lying to myself or feeling like I'm trying to trick myself into believing that perspective. There's definitely something to that "a means of instilling discipline and something you might learn to enjoy" thing but it's really such a tiny hope amidst the mass of immediate negative counterpoints.

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by Perna

If you are not ready yet, I would withdraw, get your money back, use it on something else you are more interested in at this time. I do not think you can sustain school work if you are not interested in being there.

I think you're right. I won't be interested enough in school to invest in it when I'm there and it'll just be wasted time. Though I don't think it's a matter of being ready or not, I just have this distaste for the education system, somehow I was able to see past that in my excitement a while ago but 90% of my life I haven't been able to shake it like that. I think I'll see it through for the first semester to give it a fighting chance, that's all I've invested in anyway, and if I find that I still feel the same by the end of it I'll just call it quits. My friends and family will be upset but that's not on me I guess.

Hello arachnophobia.kid. It sounds like you're being very wise about this. I'm glad you'll give the school a chance and than make a decision. I could be biased, of course, but I've found that colleges and universities are very different from high school. They do allow a lot more freedom and don't treat you like a child, so you may like it more.