struggling

i just don't know what to do... i started university (im in commerce) and my marks are looking really bad.

- i failed my econ midterm with a 46.7% (i studied so much! i went to econ help when i needed it and everything yet i failed! my prof made the midterm really hard but all the people i talked to all managed to get ~70% and then there's me all stupid)
- i got a 62.5% on my gerontology midterm (i studied SO much! i thought the midterm was super easy so seeing this mark was a heartbreaker... im gonna talk to my professor about this...)
- 76% for anthropology (i thought this midterm was fairly easy... but i wanted at least an 80% on this midterm because my essays are absolutely terrible!)
- 94% for music history (no complaints here)
- commerce=??? (i just had my midterm for commerce today and i have no idea how i did... no clue at all)

to pass first year i need a culmulative average of 63% and my average isn't looking that great. especially with my econ... but to get an interneship i need at least 70% (and i really need one because i have no experience whatsoever).

i don't know what i'm doing wrong. my friend in engineering sleeps about 8 hours everyday. i sleep ~3 hours because im studying day and night. and then i get bad marks on my midterms whereas my friend gets a 100% on her engineering calculus midterm and she studies an hour before. what am i doing wrong? im living off of coffee now cuz of my lack of sleep. ad no im not jealous of my friend. im proud of my friend gettig amazing marks; but it's more of me being the problem, why can't i do that? am i stupid? i think so...

im starting to feel really overwhelmed. i was supposed to be in this business competition but now i dropped that because im really scared about my marks.

to make life 100x better i have 4 FINAL exams within 3 frikken days! 2 exams on day 1 and another 2 on day 3. and they wont even change the dates. i posted anonymously on my univerisity's page asking how to deal with final exams like that and one of the replies was "Suicide is a viable alternative to writing exams". seems pretty accurate to me tbh.

next semester is gonna be even harder. i have accounting, organizational behaviour, economics and calculus. isn't my life just great? splendid...

before i started university my sister made a bet that i won't even last a semester... ahhhh

i just don't know how to deal with this anymore. all i want to do is cry and cry. today i was shaking while i was writing my commerce midterm. my chest felt empty/cold and i had an uneasy feeling in stomach (i still feel all this). i feel like im gonna puke. im loosing weight and i have a lack of appetite. all i want to do SI all the time (in different ways). ughhh... what should i do? im just so overwhelmed with my life.

...if i fail idk what i'll do with my life... my life will be completly over...

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im sorry about this super long rant but i seriously don't know what to do. im at the end of my rope.

Your anxiety and thoughts that your life will be completely over if you fail here and there...are not helping anything. They are even not true. If there is an exam you fail you can try again a little later. Can`t you?..i know there where i study there is a possibility like that.

The real question is: Do you love what you do? Are you sure that THIS is what you want to do with your life? And if it is - it doesn`t matter how many times you fail...and whether you get a scholarship or anything...what matters is that in the end, you win. You don`t have to tell your sister about every test. If you love it enough you will do everything it takes...if not you will leave it with and understanding that it is not your way...and there are other ways better for you..

You see - when your emotions are interfering in your study process - your cognitive process becomes slower. Silence is what you need. Creative thinking, and fast thinking - that stores in your memory whatever you learn, and pulls it out faster when you need it - doesn`t work the same way as emotions do. Your friend may have more "tallent" than you do, but i bet that he/she takes everything in much lighted mood . If it is a threat on you - then you experience it as something "bigger" than you are. Not something that you do, that comes from you. But when you write an paper or a test these actions come from you..and not to threaten you from outside....

I know how feel....college can be hell with their non human demands...

I hope you have a therapist to help you deal with the emotional part.

and by they way:
DONT DRINK COFFEE when you are exhausted! Yes. Only when you are a bit tired and unfocused. If you slept 3 hours - all it does is give you more anxiety and pressure... or a high...you sound anxious enough without that.

You run to get help, drink coffee, sleep for 3 hours - like those all too good girlfriends who find their efforts are not appreciated. I think that if you put less effort and more fun and creative thinking... you will see better results. Like those *****es who`s boyfriend is at their feet... be a little more "*****y" to your studies...if you cared LESS about it what would have happened? you can imagine for a moment

I really hope you will get help, even a friend to talk to. Because you can be efficient when you are at peace. Focused. Not when you are anxious and desperate. Get 8 hours of sleep like you friends does. Whatever hurts or threatens you does not good but to force you to act out of fear - and this happens when you don`t enjoy what you are doing

Take care

Hi. I agree, studying day and night and not sleeping enough can really obstacle you instead of help. You need also to sleep!
Also anxiety can be part of the problem. You could talk to a psychologist about your school anxiety. Maybe there are some at your college. Or try some relaxation techniques.
All these exams near are surely hard, but if you study in advance, with a good organization and without too much anxiety, you can do it. You could reflect on your study method and improve it if necessary.
I know how it is to feel overwhelmed for school But please, do just your best. And try not to worry too much. Your well being is the most important thing.
Lots of hugs

Do not live off of coffee and 3 hours of sleep, that's your only mistake right there. Take notes from your friend who is well rested - sleep 8 hours a day. Resting is just as important for your grades as studying. Do not let your mental health suffer while you're going through naturally stressful classes in college, you need to keep an even keel about your moods during this time which means taking the pressure off of yourself. Don't listen to your sister who said you won't last a semester, that is very rude and terrible of someone to say to anyone else. Prove her wrong, take it easy.
Everyone has a hard time in college because college is hard.
Your marks are fine. You just need to lighten up on yourself and not stress out so hard. Stressing less will improve your grades, I'm sure.
Get help from study groups, or help from your professors if possible.
Don't jam so much studying into short periods of time, take 30 minute study intervals throughout the day so you can remember more things.
Talk to your professors about any unsatisfactory grade and ask them what you can do to improve it or what it is you don't understand about a subject. That's their job.
Take it a day at a time. Do your best. Eat healthy, and get enough rest. Limit your coffee intake, drink more water. Eat smoothies loaded with bananas and healthy stuff in the mornings before class. Exercise or do yoga or calming meditation before class or during breaks between studying. How can you possibly remember anything you study if you're shaking and worrying at the same time? You can't. Use your creative juices with regards to every class you're in, and ask for help when needed.
By the way, stop comparing yourself to others. I'm 100% sure you're not the only one who got a 40% or a 60% in that class. The only one you need to be concerned about is you and not looking at other people's grades because that doesn't feel good to anyone. Even someone who got an 80% would feel like **** if they saw someone else get a 90%.