Hey everyone. I am a nursing student and have actually been in college on and off much of my adult life trying to figure out what I wanted to do (being BPD doesn't help much with the impulsivity thing of switching around, either). This is actually my second time attempting nursing school, the first being 10 years ago, when I was 25 and much more impulsive and caring more about partying with friends than my academics. Now that I'm a little more settled, I'm more focused on school, goals, and getting good grades. I need to pass all of my nursing courses with at least an 80%. My long-term goal is to go to grad school, and in order to do that, I need to have a 4.0, especially since my cumulative GPA is less than a 3.0 because I spent so many years screwing around.

So far, I've been doing very well. I am not super confident in myself, but one thing I've always felt confident in is my intelligence. I was a smart kid, knowledge just came naturally to me, I always had my nose in a book (especially since I didn't socialize much when I was younger), and I've always been curious. So when I actually apply myself, I do really well and it doesn't take a lot of effort. It just...is. I don't brag about it or rub anyone's nose in it, I don't scoff or call people stupid, and I will gladly help people study if they would like me to (though I tend to get distracted and socialize... )

The problem I am having is that my nursing cohort seems to hold be at arm's length because of the fact that I do well. I did post on FB at the end of the first semester that I had achieved a 4.0, but I was excited and proud of finally achieving something and, in hindsight, maybe it was bragging. Whatever--I was mainly posting for friends and family, but I forget my cohort can also see what I post. I can't take it back, and I probably won't do it again. The other day, a classmate told me that I am the reason she and a few others had to go to the college counseling center--because, apparently, I finish my tests too quickly and it "makes everyone nervous." She told me she wasn't trying to offend me, and I laughed it off at first. But really, it upsets me. I am not responsible for others when testing, I am responsible for myself. I read quickly (if I deliberate over questions, I tend to second-guess) and I quickly re-check my test. And then I'm done. Then I leave the classroom (as we're supposed to). Someone once mentioned that I slammed the door as I left, causing her to be distracted and do poorly. I don't remember doing this and, if I did, it was an accident. Since I know I finish quickly, I try very hard to be respectful of others.

Sorry this is so long, but it really does bother me. Has anyone else ever had a similar experience? I guess I feel disappointed because, before entering nursing school, I thought many of us would bond over the shared experience of going through this stressful time together. Instead, we tend to be catty, unsupportive, and at each other's throats. I don't need these women to applaud me (I'm just glad on my own when I do well), but I kind of feel like I'm being cut down for doing well. I think that stinks.

[unaluna]

Holy crap. But it sounds like someone is trying to yank your chain. Do you watch the tvshow Bones? Thats who you want for your role model. Or read Vonnegut's short story Harrison Bergeron. Personally i would rather have the 4.0 nurse helping me in the hospital!!

Originally Posted by hankster

Holy crap. But it sounds like someone is trying to yank your chain. Do you watch the tvshow Bones? Thats who you want for your role model. Or read Vonnegut's short story Harrison Bergeron. Personally i would rather have the 4.0 nurse helping me in the hospital!!

Thanks for these suggestions; I'll look into them. Honestly, the rational, healthy, and whole part of me doesn't give two hoots about people like this. There is even a little perverse part of me that has that smirky little, "Haters gon hate" thought when people make comments or say things like what I mentioned above. Ever watch "Masters of Sex?" I identify with the character of Dr. Lillian DePaul SO much that it's scary. I've never seen Bones, but I've seen House and I kind of identify with him as well, though that character is kind of superhuman as far as intelligence goes. I identify with the alienation, the quirkiness, the high functioning mental illness, the need to self-medicate, the snarky wry sense of humor, and yes, the intelligence though to a lesser extent. I too would rather have the 4.0 nurse though, in nursing, it isn't all about the grades; you need to have compassion which I'm not that skilled at (though yes, I do care...I'll just never be, like, a pediatric nurse or anything like that). I've worked in an ER for years and that is the environment which suits me best. If my mind stays cooperative, I'd like to continue on to grad school for my CRNA (certified registered nurse anesthetist)--I think I'm very suited to work in anesthesia, all of that chemistry and pharmacology...and everyone is asleep.

[Miswimmy1]

I wouldn't say that I've had a super similar experience, but I definitely can relate to what you're feeling. I am very similar- When I put my mind to something that I enjoy, learning comes easily and it seems effortless to get good grades. Growing up, I never felt the need to study, never really had any homework because I would do it while the teacher was explaining the information to the other students, always scored highly on exams. I never really thought twice about it until I got into high school. I am taking second year of IB Biology. From what all of my classmates say, it's a very difficult course. I've had troubles making friends in the past and I thought that by being a good student, I could help others learn and show them that I was happy to be a resource for them. Completely not in an overbearing, arrogant way. Because of genuine curiosity and interest, I go head to head with my teacher on almost every topic we cover. I'm not afraid to challenge her ideas or ask an analytical question during a lecture. She welcomes the interaction actually. I realized though that what I saw as engaged, animated learning, my classmates saw as me being a teacher's pet. When I would get an answer correct, people would sort of mutter under their breath, "Of course she knows it". In a way, my attempt to be an active member in the class has actually made me more enemies than friends. So I empathize with you, long story short.

[tradika]

Honestly, if I saw that someone had posted their GPA on FB I would automatically think the person was being arrogant. A lot of people have a cumulative 4.0 in undergraduate. It has a correlation with intelligence, but even more so with motivation. It’s very probable that they do not see any reason to put as much effort because they don’t want to go to graduate school. It doesn’t mean that some of them aren’t as equally smart as you are.

What you need to remember is that intelligence is tricky thing. It can cast you apart, but the truly gifted learn to navigate others with tact. That will serve you more as a nurse (and working with the public in general), than your grades. Good luck on getting to grad school though!

[hvert]

Congrats on the great performance!

I am also an academic over-achiever, the first to finish tests, perfect scores, etc. I have not found that people disliked me because of this. It sounds like nursing school is a lot different!

How do these people even know that you are scoring well, aside from your comment on Facebook?

[Vossie42]

People have to learn to perform well under pressure. In school that means you can't let things like people finishing their test and leaving the room, or whatever disrupt your concentration. You have to learn to focus on the task at hand just like in real life. I wouldn't apologize for finishing first. Someone has to finish first.

Originally Posted by tradika

Honestly, if I saw that someone had posted their GPA on FB I would automatically think the person was being arrogant.

I agree with you, and it isn't something I have done in the past. But there's the thing: For me, this is my second attempt at nursing school. The first time, exactly ten years ago, I failed out because I was more interested in partying with my friends than studying, and because I had just broken up with my fiance. My close friends and family know this, and even some of my classmates. What my classmates don't know is that, immediately after failing out of nursing school, I overdosed and was admitted into the hospital, thus beginning my mental health battle. So it wasn't arrogance which prompted me to post it, but rather a sense of accomplishment and "rising above."

At the same time, I have a few other friends who are adult students who post their grades. I think we're all just in awe of the fact that we've still "got it," haha.

In coming back to this, weeks after I first wrote it, I realize that I come off sounding like a self-important brat. I don't mean to. Understand that there is an underlying issue of severe depression that I have struggled with since I was a teen. Sometimes, these petty issues, talking about "this person doesn't like me for this stupid reason" and whatnot are just distractors from some really deep issues. I need to get back and establish myself with a therapist; at the moment, and without insurance, it's just not feasible. Thank you all for your comments.