I do not know what to do

I went through an entire year of a schizophrenic break from reality and it resulted in me calling the cops and affirmative action on my professors. Honestly, they were picking on me. But I took it to an extreme because of my illness that I had no control over and they were questioned by the university. Then I was thrown into a psychward for a week only to realize what I have done. I sent an apology letter to them and no response. Can you imagine, nothing. They glare at me. They are short with me. They go out of their way to avoid me. I'm a social Pariah. One of them told my peer that I didn't even apologize which is weird because I even had my psychologist sit down with me and help me write it. So I wrote another one asking him if I could see him so I could tell how truly sorry I am. Still, nothing. No response. They want nothing to do with me. I wanted to go into acadamia and to do so I need letters of recommendation and now what do i do?

I had NO control over my mental illness. This wasn't my fault yet I still apologized twice and nothing. I don't think I can get into grad school without a letter of recoemmendation now.

Im baffled. What do I do?

Hello Odysseus: Just because people are educated doesn't mean they're "enlightened". I never worked in academia. But, from what I've read, my impression is that it can be a "dog-eat-dog" environment. Everyone is scraping for tenure, & any little thing can knock you out of the running. At least this is my impression.

I would guess that your professors may see you as a threat to their careers, regardless of whether or not they understand your mental illness. So their intention is simply to keep as much space between you & themselves as possible. And, unfortunately, there may not be much you can do about that either.

I don't know how close you are to graduation. Is there any possibility of transferring to another school? Or could you transfer, within your present school, to another similar department that would allow you to continue to pursue your current educational goals but with different professors?

I'm sure none of these suggestions is anything you particularly relish. However, the reality of the situation may simply be that you won't be able to get letters of recommendation from the professors your mental illness burned. Otherwise, the only other thing I can think of is to try to establish relationships with other academic staff from whom you could get recommendations. This might include student counselors, placement office officials, or perhaps professors with whom you might be able to do some independent study. Just a few ideas that pop into my head. My best wishes to you...

I agree with the suggestion of transferring. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially after they've apologized. If transferring isn't an option, maybe politely/respectfully taking up the issue with a school administrator (and possibly including your psychologist in on that as well) is an option?

I stuck through and I will finish my last class in a couple weeks. I can't transfer. Nor do I have the financial support to transfer to another depeartment and take more classes. All of this was for nothing. I had my psychologist talk to the head of the department already. That did not help. I guess I could try to talk to the administration. Im going to get forced letters of recommendation now? There is no way of winning here. Now I owe $30K in debt. With no exit plan.