 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
Feb 28, 2015, 01:33 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
This is rather complicated, so I tried to make a list. Also, I marked triggers where I wrote more. Sorry for causing trouble here.
Here is the situation: High school: - being dropped out of the group friends (my only friends...) due to being too introvert
Possible trigger:
- insomnia since ~3rd grade in high school (a year before school leaving exams) - anxiety, depression, and a bit of self-harm
Possible trigger:
- school leaving exams in 4th grade: even more anxiety, school counselling didn't help at all, but somehow I passed and got into the uni I wanted to go to. After entering university: - I found new friends and got a bit better
Possible trigger:
- exam fright and anxiety got worse year by year, especially when I failed such subject which are available only in spring/only in autumn term (so if you fail twice you finish 1 whole year later because of that subject) - As time passed, most of the new friends got further away as every semester meant the forming of new seminar groups, I rarely met those I knew in the 1st or the 2nd semester...
Possible trigger:
Last year of university: - It's almost the same as in high school, except that I'm not that introvert anymore
Possible trigger:
- The stress is...constant. I didn't even feel any difference between the end of the last semester and the beginning of the new one. Even the small "break" between the semesters was awfully stressful. - It seems I'm on the edge of burnout (or in it?)
Possible trigger:
- I've been helping out my fellow students ever since ~2nd year of uni, e.g. explaining some things, finding some pieces of information, like using Quizlet (which is pretty useful, flashcards, matching words or terms with definitions). I take my notes by typing on my laptop, so it's really easy finalizing them and sending them to those who missed lectures.
Possible trigger:
- But now I can't even track who asked for which kind of note...I tell them to warn me or write me online, because I can't follow it anymore... - I've been stressing and worrying about the final exams for about a year now (since last spring semester) - So I'm planning to stay here for one more semester to finish all my subjects and then I can focus on the final exams and such in the next semester - Still, there's all this pressure: passing all the exams, showing a happy-everything-is-all-right-face on the outside, also losing much much more weight
Possible trigger:
- trying to keep friends
Possible trigger:
At home: - No one knows anything. My family is rather conservative about mental issues.
Possible trigger:
-- I went to the school counsellor secretly, but nothing really changed...
Possible trigger:
- I've been wearing a mask ever since I found out I had depression (especially at home) - When I had the worst times in high school, I kept doodling depression-related
Possible trigger:
- I'm afraid of saying anything of staying at uni for a bit longer because of my family's expectations, but I know I should tell them sooner or later...ONLY this: I have many exams and it will be a bit too much finishing in the same term, so it would be better to stay here for another semester. But even with this, all the other issues will remain unsolved... So, this is all in a nutshell.
Possible trigger:
I have no idea where to turn to, who to talk to...I don't think there's any counselling in uni. I'm just feeling more and more symptoms of burnout and I'm not sure where it ends...
Possible trigger:
|
 IDoNotExist
|
 IDoNotExist
|
|
#2
Feb 28, 2015, 02:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
    
__________________
"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs |
| Pinkachu93
|
| IDoNotExist, Pinkachu93
|
|
#3
Feb 28, 2015, 07:28 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#4
Feb 28, 2015, 08:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
With regards to school, I had most if not all of your issues as an undergrad. I also had friends with similar issues. My suggestions: 1) Don't overload yourself. You may have to take less classes and finish later. It may seem so staggering to you now, but when you're 45, will you really have cared about 1 more year? I'm having this issue now. A lot of times we don't want to think of ourselves as "lessors." But it's okay to just accept that we don't have the emotional fortitude of most people. We can develop this as we get older, but in school, we have to accept our limits. Remember, it's a SHORT time in the grand scheme of things. A lot of school isn't about being the smartest ; it's about handling stress. 2) Don't try to be TOO helpful. People with low self worth try to be as helpful as possible to give themselves worth. You may notice that others are using you over time. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. 3) It's OKAY to fail classes and repeat them as an undergrad; it means a lot less than you think! The mantra "Do good in school; it effects EVERYTHING" is a bit misleading. I had a friend who I believe retook a good deal of undergraduate classes at the freshman and sophomore level. Today he is an engineer making more than some "high GPA'ers" combined. The only time to worry is if you're going for grad. But even then, it means less than you think! A girl I went to school with is doing a PhD at a good school in a subject she at first got a C in. In grad, people want passion as well--sometimes even more then GPA. 4) See Another Therapist and BE HONEST: Everything in your spoiler tags NEEDS to be brought up. There's only so much a trained person can tell from your body language and topics you bring up. In fact, you may even want to read to them everything in this post. It makes a huge difference. You may only be giving signs of minor problems when they may be indeed bigger. 5) Find friends like you; go to club meetings etc. I'm such a loner. But that was okay as I found other loners. I found the weird people, sometimes through events or clubs. Also, having online friends is fine and may be better suited for you. Friends don't have to be in your class, major, or even immediate presence to be helpful emotionally. 6) Wasps are abominations! Oh man do I hate these ****ers, too. The sound of them buzzing is enough for me to stay in my car until it passes at times. But, aside from being near he nest, they don't really become to aggressive. They really become more aggressive in later summer or if you are near the nest. If you truly are afraid of them, try to avoid eating sugary substances near nests. Work with a psych on this. Us jumpy people are the ones who get stung. Try to remember how many times you've been near them and they didn't sting. I had one in my car, and I just opened the window, remained still (well enough to drive), and it flew out. They usually want out as much as you want them to be! |
| Pinkachu93
|
| Pinkachu93
|
|
#5
Mar 01, 2015, 04:14 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I will write a bit more later, now I'm replying to the wasp issue. Thank God I have never seen a wasp nest in person, still they are EVERYWHERE in the city. So, I'm trying not bringing any sugary stuff or fruits with me to uni, and I'm using a minty-herby scented shampoo instead of those tropical-fruity ones. Same with soap. And I never wear yellow. In high school every grade had their own color, it meant you had to wore that T-shirt during PE classes. Guess which color my class had - yes, YELLOW. Ohhh nooo. The first few lessons outside were a true NIGHTMARE. Really. I quickly switched to plain white T-shirt, which made things a bit better, and I didn't care about the teacher saying 'What, are you in another class now?' No, but I don't want those striped beasts approach me.  (Later almost every girl changed to white because they didn't like that all the bugs liked their yellow T-shirt. And we never had a problem about it. The teacher didn't say anything bad afterwards either.)I have never been bitten by them, or by bees or anything except mosquitoes. I think it's because I don't really jump, just escape as quickly as possible. This is of course harder in closed classrooms (once I had to spend a day in an office as part of my studies, and guess who visited me - yes, a wasp. I couldn't focus on anything else until that thing flew out the window...), tram stops are quite limited as well...and trams are the worst. Yellow AND limited movement available, especially on a crowded tram. Once I invited a friend home and I was talking about how much I hate wasps. We got on the tram...and there were at least THREE of them. On the tram. I got crazy. I kept hurrying back and forth. Whyyy...Can't they fly? Why do they need those freaking trams? They don't have valid tickets, they need to get off! XD Can this be even cured somehow...? Thanks again for your suggestions, I will come back to them definitely.
|
|
#6
Mar 03, 2015, 02:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
What I'm more afraid of is telling all this at home. I'm sure I will get something like this "You're stupid, stop that" or whatever...I don't care anymore.
Possible trigger:
I think I understand it - in my uni it's actually rare that you get a good grade because you studied enough...there are many subjects where you study a LOT just to pass, just to get that 50% or 60% or whatever it takes to pass it finally. It isn't about good grades anymore. I used to feel guilty just for getting a B instead of an A, but now I'm struggling for a freaking D and I'm studying even more than in some subjects where I got As. Well, I may have gotten better grades since year 1 on uni if I hadn't had terrible exam fright from the beginning (since high school)...I'm kind of unable to handle stress. And you're absolutely right, finishing uni later won't sound as bad years from now than at the moment. Actually, many of my groupmates at uni (we went to the same seminars so we know each other a bit...I'm not sure whether I should call them friends though) are also finishing later, not because of burnout, but because they also failed at such subjects which are held yearly so they either finish 1 or 2 semesters later. 2) You've just described me with the 2nd sentence. I feel I'm useful when I'm helping others. Maybe some of them are using me, or used me already, but some of them also helped me, e.g. they sent some useful notes when I missed a lecture or told me information I couldn't find on my own. I think I won't accept more requests though, only if they are asking for notes I already have. Sending it takes only a minute. 3) Ohhh I heard that mantra so many times! I got this before the high school leaving exams: "We don't want to pressure you but your LIFE depends on these exams." You can imagine how I was before and on the days of the exams. Still, there are some subjects which are almost like life-or-death. I had one like that last semester (and thankfully passed), and I have another one this semester. If I don't pass, I will finish 1 full year later. I don't want that. Really. I just want to finish uni already and leave this place. (I'm glad it turned out so well for him! It was useful retaking those classes then.) I don't think I want to study on a higher level, I have a career plan which doesn't even need my uni degree either, still it could be something I'm going to be passionate about. (I mean I want to work at a certain company, but first I need to learn some new skills. I can't wait to start studying them...I just have no idea how this burnout thing will affect everything.) 4) This is also a part I'm uncertain about. I will need to check if anything is available at uni, I don't know...
Possible trigger:
You might be right here as well. Ever since high school, I've been hiding all this as well as I could. Even when I went to the counsellor back then, I just felt a bit better because someone would listen to me, then of course I didn't look as if I had serious issues, then sometimes after that I collapsed again on the inside. It would be difficult to show anything I think... 5) I've never been a social person, I've never attended a uni event either...those events were mostly parties, loud music etc., exactly what I don't like. I have a few online friends and I really like them, but sometimes it would be great if they could give a real-life hug when I really need one...I don't know if I will have any friends with whom I will meet sometimes after finishing uni.
Possible trigger:
Thanks so much for your suggestions again, I will think about them!
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
