I've lost all intrest in my passion.

I'm currently still in high school, and about 3 years ago I found that I loved to draw/paint/write. Since I realized that, I've been desperate to get good enough at it so I may do it as a living. But for the past two months I've lost all intrest. Its not like I havent felt like practicing before, sometimes for weeks at a time, but this is different. I feel as if I've lost ALL I interest in my studies. Ive gone from studying between 2 to 6 hours a day on average, to 10 minutes if I'm lucky. Whenever I sit down to practice, it's like I never enjoyed the act of creating in the first place, and I would rather go fool around on the Internet. But of course that isn't fulfilling either. I hate everything I produce, it looks amateur, and I think I may have almost had a nervous breakdown not long ago while looking at the work of some artists I admire, and feeling like all the time I've put into practicing has been for nothing. The end result of this freak out was me just lying on the floor with my mind going crazy and tears in my eyes. I've begun to feel genuinely terrified that I've lost whatever interest I had in creating, and that Ive just wasted three years of my life. Not to mention that just the idea that i may not end up making a living as a creative person literally makes me feel sick. What's wrong with me??? I should also note that I homeschool, and therefore have enough free time to get hours of art study done without working late into the night. Please help.

Hey Torgath,
This sounds like a real dilemma. It also sounds like you're alone a lot if you're on the internet too much.

The solution isn't simple, but I think you just need to get out more. Step away from the computer! Make a few friends and do stuff. At your age, getting as much exposure to different things (legal things) is essential to find what your real passion is. Maybe you encounter a friend that's really into drums and they teach you how to play. Unknowingly, maybe you play like you were born to do that! Maybe you get exposed to coding games or building stuff with your hands. The point is you do something with others, lots of others.

You haven't wasted 3 years. That feeling you have when you think about that time is a HUGE lesson. In the future you don't want to feel this way so it's a message to CHANGE. Something other than what you typically do all day has to change: drastically or slowly.

So commit to doing something different every day. And get back into studying because it opens up more doors. Work in some time when you're normally just screwing around. I'd talk to a school counselor about that. There are tricks to get back into studying and making that rewarding (dare I say, fun). The good news is that you were once at a place where you could study for 6 hours. Most students I know can barely focus on something for 30 minutes! What you have is practically a gift. Nothing is wrong with you, you just need to get a handle on the situation. Talk to people you like, create little habits that compound, and explore this amazing world (outside of the internet). Whatever you feel like right now, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Hello Torgath: Welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! Loss of interest in things a person once enjoyed is pretty-much a classic symptom of depression. Since you're having this experience it may be a good idea to try to find out what's going on. It could be something physical. So you might consider starting with your family doc. Assuming you're physically healthy, some counseling or therapy may help you to sort out what it is that is causing you to lose interest in what you love. And, in addition, keep posting here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will feel. My best wishes to you...

Probably nothing wrong, when you are growing up things/feelings do change and can be quite bewildering. Can you speak to a trusted person about this?

Sometimes however you hit a wall and don't progress - it may help to look back and re-evaluate your previous work and feelings. if you feel your art is something you want to persist in perhaps you could take some lessons to improve your technique so you can give substance to your ideas.

Torgath:

I have been a professional photographer and have art and art history in my background. No one, not even great Masters, start out producing amazing art. It takes learning, being taught, and a lot of practice.
In the Renaissance, young artists, Michelangelo, leonardo, etc. apprenticed themselves to teachers and then more established artists. Even when they became established, they did not work alone. They had staffs of artisans and apprentices. When stuck on a work, they often called upon other artists or even former teachers to advise them.
A very common misconception is that great artists are miraculously born. From art history, we can see this is patently untrue. I am positive every one of those artists looked at some time at a piece and said to himself "this looks amateur." Most probably looked around and thought "everyone is better than me." What made them eventually into art masters is they kept going. They kept learning, trying, and creating. Very slowly, they progressed and got better.
Since you are still in high school, I would say don't worry about the job market yet. You have plenty of time to worry about that later. Right now, try and work on you. The future will take care of itself.

Thank's for that. Ill definitely look into talking to someone about it. Cheers

I have talked to my parents about this, although I feel as if I've talked about it TOO much. I bring it up almost every second day in an attempt to get some closure, but it never comes. Thanks for the advice though. Ill look into some training programs

Hi there Torgath. I'm going through the exact same thing, though I'm 28 and going BACK to college for my passion of art, particularly drawing.

I'm sick to death of drawing. I'm all out of ideas and it feels like a drain, and I'm terrified that I won't be able to pass my portfolio review because I have no ideas!

One thing that is helping me enjoy art more is trying different mediums. From collage to life drawing to pastels, doing art that is different from what I usually do helps me feel inspired again. It isn't helping my boredom with drawing though.

This might be depression, but it might also be that you are bored with your current medium. Da Vinci and Walt Disney both went through stages in their lives where they worked on different things; Da Vinci ended up designing torture devices for his government and Disney left movies to build theme parks. I Wish you the best

School is not an easy thing it is hard to stay focus and try to keep your mind off distractions. There are plenty of things that get in the way but you also have to know what is best for you and what you want to do with your life. It is hard to have an idea of what you really want to do in high school. So you kind of just have to take it day by day. And since you already found your passion of what you like just take it slow and find something else that you enjoy as well.

Don't give up, and stop comparing yourself to others. Mastering any skill takes thousands of hours for everyone, and besides, this is the time that really matters. If you're truly passionate about being an artist, in ten years you're going to be looking back on this moment, fondly thinking of all you've overcome to get to where you are.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've been pursuing creative writing and songwriting for almost six years now, started off as a complete amateur, but insisted on working towards becoming a true artist by sharing my work, receiving feedback, making changes any time I felt they were necessary ( hence a lot, because I was never satisfied with the final results ) . Reading somebody else's work never failed to bring me down, as my writing suddenly seemed dull, lacking any sort of essence and meaning. As far as my studies are concerned, it's been even worse. I am simply unable to study more than 15 minutes a day, my mind is always distracted by the smallest of things and I waste so much time doing **** on the Internet and binge watching YouTube. At the moment, my life literarily lacks both creative writing and actual studying for school. I still write songs, but that's because I feel divergent emotions and need to get rid of them somehow by working on an artistic outlet.

But enough about me. I would really want to make a suggestion and give you some advice, but as you probably noticed yourself, I am in the same uncomfortable position as you are ( and 'uncomfortable' is an euphemism here ) . One thing I can suggest is think of an alternative career you might want to pursue, for which you would go to college and later work on throughout adulthood. For example, I will go into scientific research as soon as I get my university degree ( three years from now, actually ) and pursue creative writing and songwriting in my free time, and maybe even get published. You don't have to make art the main purpose of your life, but it can be one of your life objectives. You need to find a balance. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Then, a suggestion I received from someone older and definitely more artistically experienced than me is JUST CREATE. No matter how crappy your art is, just create it and keep creating it until it isn't crappy anymore. I was literarily told that my writing is horrible right now, but that this is how it should be: I need to be a bad writer now only to become a good writer later. Just like it happens in life: we make mistakes as teenagers to learn certain lessons and apply them in our adulthood. Or we go through puberty and look like a potato only to become handsome as adults. Surprisingly or not, this encouraged me to continue writing.

I do hope I've managed to help you somehow. Let me know how your progress is going!