[rostar829]

Hmm I don't even know where to begin.... I recently graduated from graduate school and have basically fallen to pieces since. One thing I struggle with is that I am not really good at anything. I mean yeah there is a few things I am decent at but I have never really mastered anything (even what I went to school for). This got me thinking about my education and way of learning. I am trying to figure out if I am actually intelligent but just haven't found the right thing, if I am dumb and have to accept this fact, or if I am just lazy and need to buckle down.

I can remember to back when I was first starting school, teachers told me I was different and I can even remember going to see a psychologist. I don't remember them giving me any conclusive answer but a lot of the problem surrounded me not wanting to do school work. I just did not really like to read and did not really like math. When I got to high school I had a very lax attitude and really did not have any desire to go to college. I did take the SAT and did just average but the process of taking the SAT was very grueling. Like to sit down and concentrate was almost mentally painful if that makes sense. I did well in college but again when it came time to study for the GRE it felt very labored. When talking with friends they seemed to have a different experience in that they felt the subject matter was hard but the actual process of thinking wasn't so grueling.

I find that I don't really enjoy puzzles or games where you have to use your mind. It is just a really uncomfortable feeling for me to "think." For example, there are people who love playing with a rubiks cube for fun. I personally hate playing with a rubiks cube and it feels like work for me to use it. So I guess I have noticed a trend that anytime I have to utilize my brain to think about something I tend to find this to be a very tedious task and by default not much fun. Is this normal?

I mean I personally feel like I am of a reasonable level of intelligence but when I talk with other people about their experiences of learning I feel that I might not be and need to accept this and try to find a job that does not require as much intelligence. What do you think? Thank you in advance

[coldwut]

Intelligence can cover a wide range of things. It could be that what you've learned in school just didn't interest you, or your strengths lie somewhere other than in what school teaches.

What did you go to graduate school for?

[Serzen]

I think you're intelligent and not interested in most things.

Keep searching, be patient, you will find your way.

[(JD)]

Ok you don't enjoy thinking hard about things. Do you like to see things in your mind...meaning are you more of a visual person? Are you more of a creative person? Do you enjoy doing things with your hands...a physical hands-on person?

Try finding a Self-Inventory to see just what makes you tick... how you like to learn, how you like to do things.

[rostar829]

Originally Posted by coldwut

Intelligence can cover a wide range of things. It could be that what you've learned in school just didn't interest you, or your strengths lie somewhere other than in what school teaches.

What did you go to graduate school for?

I think that can definitely be true but it seems that in this day and age everything is about where and what you went to school for. Not much stock seems to be put on things outside of this. I went for business.

[rostar829]

Originally Posted by (JD)

Ok you don't enjoy thinking hard about things. Do you like to see things in your mind...meaning are you more of a visual person? Are you more of a creative person? Do you enjoy doing things with your hands...a physical hands-on person?

Try finding a Self-Inventory to see just what makes you tick... how you like to learn, how you like to do things.

Personally I hate theoretical things. I just like to get down to work and sort of learn things as I go along. I hate to sit and plan and think about what we should do. I would say I definitely do enjoy working with my hands more.

Ok, I will try to find one. Thanks for the advice!

[alicetailor]

Each person is different. You just have find out your strengths.

[Perna]

For someone who does not enjoy learning and school I find it amazing you just finished graduate school? I would get a job of some sort and see if you can find something that interests you in the work world. My son swore when he was in high school that he was not going to work in an office, wanted something where he was freer and he has a marketing/sales job now that allows him to travel the world (he had only one semester of college) and loves it, is based in New York City (so doing well enough money-wise too). His wife has a similar sort of job and they often travel together.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by rostar829

Personally I hate theoretical things. I just like to get down to work and sort of learn things as I go along. I hate to sit and plan and think about what we should do. I would say I definitely do enjoy working with my hands more.

Ok, I will try to find one. Thanks for the advice!

When my daughter was really young I took her to a horse show just to see what she would think of it. She did not seem to be all that interested in watching it and I asked her, "hey, don't you want to watch and see what is going on?" Her reply was "No, I don't want to watch it, I want to do it". Well, I learned over the years that is exactly what she did want. She does do it, and she is very good at it.

So, I think what you need is to get out in the world and "do it" too. Asking if you are smart just by your desire to sit and learn in school, isn't being fair to yourself. You probably have spent enough time in learning/education, it's time to go out in the world and do the other learning and that learning is by actually "doing".

[DesigningWoman]

Open eyes
I completely agree. I know plenty of people who spend a big chunk of life and especially the earlier years in school. They graduate having learned how to excel at tasks that for the most part don't exist in real world settings. I am very glad I took some time to get a career job outside academia for 8 years. Some things I loved and some I didn't like. But I learned what kind of jobs I am really interested and things I am good at in a real world setting. Now I am back in school, but after my experience I am thinking less about grades and much more long term for my new career path.
I would also advise to get out there and take a job. Even if you aren't sure, get started doing and see where you can head. "Oh the places you'll go."

P.S. Rubik's cubes have nothing to do with anything except spatial reasoning. Don't sweat not being interested in them.

[YMIHere]

My sister has run a few businesses now and has gone back to school for her Master's in Creativity and something or other. Not your typical degree.

My sister says that if you love to do something, there's a way to make money at it. You have your Business Degree, now find out what you LOVE and figure out how to make it profitable. I think it would engage your brain in a way that you would like, but I could totally be off. Hoping to finish my AA over the summer. Then it's a toss up if I attempt to finish my BA or just try to make something of this project I've had in my head for years - my own nonprofit.

Anyway, good luck. Hope you sort it out. I'm SURE you're not stupid or lazy. Probably ADHD. I know it makes certain things VERY taxing to my brain.

[DesigningWoman]

My sister says the exact same thing. When I would complain about my horrible job but say I couldn't do anything else, she would say, "if you want to be shot out of a cannon for a job. You can train. Be the best in the world at being shot out of a cannon and you can make money at it." Of course she was being silly as I have no interest in the circus arts.
She makes a valid point. The opposite of find a niche and make yourself fit to fill it. Pretty much, make your own niche. My first response was always that I might fail. Then my supposedly rock solid full time government job was looking at doing large scale layoffs and then began instituting massive cuts to health insurance coverage to save money, I realized failure is possible all over. It took me a couple more years, but I quit to be retrained to do what I really want to do. I look around at the world with people with crazy degrees (digital storytelling or leisure studies) and many with no degrees at all doing interesting, fun things with their lives. I think more of what she kept telling me. There are many ways to get through life. Find what works for you, How you want to live. You don't have to be perfect. You do have to try.

Rostar: Good day. I can commiserate with you. Don't be harsh on yourself. Some puzzles, math and the other disciplines like science and engineering require a particular type of critical thinking. It is not unusual for anyone to struggle in these subjects. It doesn't mean you lack intelligence it just means your strengths lie elsewhere. Think on the things that bring you enjoyment and some peace of mind. Think on the things you are good at. Think on the things you have accomplished. Think on the things that draw your attention. Don't let the world or society tell you what you must excel at. Simply because person A is good at math does not mean you have too as well. Person B may be terrified of science but excels at creative writing. You have a muse and it is just a matter of finding it. Don't let others dictate to you. The internet is a vast warehouse of information. Write down all the things you wish to learn more about and search, search, search. You will be pleasantly surprised to find there are many, many more people in the world that are like you. You may be able to narrow your interests down to a particular subject wherein you can get specific training instead of spending four years at a college taking courses that have no bearing on your strengths. Heck, you may be able to walk into a business and they hire you on the spot because you have a passion for that line of work. Many people have turned their hobbies into successful businesses. Some join with like minded individuals and build a network with common ground. The world and society expect us to be at a certain level financially and educationally so when we are not there we tend to accuse ourselves of being lazy or stupid. We can't beholden ourselves to the world. Besides, if you were lazy why would you take the time to post on this site seeking help? You must be intelligent or how would you know where to seek help? As for being stupid; no one is stupid! Keep a stiff upper lip and go out and conquer the world. Regards, M. Poirot